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The Bread O' Heaven (Sonnet) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
Once, a wise man and a fool lived in adjacent abodes,
Atop a tower of inordinate height,
And so God became enraged,
Over their irreverent proximity to the heavens.
A man of the cloth was alerted to this travesty in a wondrous dream,
And was commanded to deliver a message unto the cohabiting heathens,
This being the most effective possible manner,
By which God could exert his omnipotent authority.
The very next morning, as the vole crowed five,
This obedient disciple donned his simple robe of sackcloth,
And purchased a single loaf of medium-sliced, white bread,
From his local 24-hour branch of Sainsbury's.
He delicately unsheathed the plump bloomer,
Then, with a silent blessing, broke it into two halves of equal
proportions,
And to each segment he attached his favorite bible verse,
It matters not which; they are all as sagacious as another.
He went and stood beneath the lofty windows of the two men,
And called up to the first, where the wise man did reside,
âLo! Behold the word of the Jehovah!â
Whilst beseeching the Lord his strength to lend.
Then, regrouping his efforts,
He lobbed the holy projectile through the gaping portal,
So as it landed, the wise man was struck down by the blinding light of
reason,
And shouted from within, âPraise be! I am saved!â
The clergyman repeated this action with a pious vigor,
This time aiming his kind gift through the window of the fool,
And again the demi-loaf landed, though the fool he could only cry out,
âLook what you have done to my nice carpet!â
As the fool proceeded to cast down Jesusâ flesh,
Upon the moistened, stony pavement,
The messenger lowered his head and gazed sadly at his humble clogs,
And prayed that the fool should be forgiven for his stubborn foolishness.
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.571429
Weighted score: 5.153681
Overall Rank: 5214
Posted: October 14, 2003 5:33 AM PDT; Last modified: October 14, 2003 5:33 AM PDT
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Therefore I award you a bright and newly-polished "number nine"