poemranker ::Daddy's Little Girl by Chazie

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Free verse № 69844

Daddy's Little Girl

Member since 2003 · Posted 12 Oct 2003 · 7 comments

As he went to touch her face, He whispered "how did I ever let you leave this place?" He touched her hand Shed a tear Now he knows He understands Her lips were red Her eyes were shut A little pink pillow to rest her head Her body was Silent Her soul was gone In her Coffin Very content A father without his heart in his world A daddy without his little girl.

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mean 6.38 weighted 5.37 rank 3267 views 128 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

7 comments

[8] Shuushin 12-Oct-03/2:07 PM Reply
Touching - the ending is very sweet and unforced; well done.
[6] horus8 12-Oct-03/2:40 PM Reply
I really enjoyed how you capitalized Certain words for emphasis in your poem. I found it mildly original, and passively Bold.
[10] MercedezDream 13-Oct-03/5:47 AM Reply
This poem is EXCELLENT. I cried when I read it. Everything just flows together. I give it a 10!
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › MercedezDream 13-Oct-03/6:02 AM Reply
Well that's a fucking surprise, isn't it? Especially when you consider the fact that you have the same IP address as the author, the same age, the same gender, and you both describe yourselves as "very laid back and open-minded" people. You are either the same person, or twins, or just very close friends. Did you really cry? I mean *REALLY*? You actually started crying when you read this piece? *ACTUALLY*? YOU DEFINITELY DID ACTUALLY START CRYING? (Before you answer, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you that lying is a sin and Jesu will make you suffer like a dog if you tell a lie. Thanks) -10-
[n/a] Bachus › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 13-Oct-03/1:13 PM Reply
Your an animal. Be it squashed upon the road and teasing crows, an animal still, and I love you.
[8] Shuushin › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 13-Oct-03/2:00 PM Reply
OMG - good work. I feel like such a dupe.
[4] kingit 13-Oct-03/4:19 PM Reply
hmmpphh!!!!