Comments byShuushin, 561–580 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

on SEASON OF WINTER by galaxy4unknown 8 Apr 2004, 8:13 AM
What's all the DAMN YELLING in here??

My gawd.
on Martyrs in suburbia - (we wander like breezes) by zodiac 7 Apr 2004, 7:46 PM
Me wander? should be "I and Jesus and Joan..."

and whats with martyr-dom? did you paste it from dictionary.com, by any chance?
on The Kings of Paradise by Spindle 7 Apr 2004, 7:18 PM
All too many "all"s ...

zodiac, you're starting to scare me.
replying on Diary by wilco 7 Apr 2004, 7:53 AM
try pasting it into notepad first; I've been able to make indented poems without too much probs.

Pretty much the only thing it won't let you do is bold, etc. (and indent the first line).
on A Quick Lick Of Yellow by Jeremi B. Handrinos 7 Apr 2004, 7:49 AM
I can appreciate the wordplay with the el sounds and the low sounds.

Good consistent imagery; nice.
on The Pear Blossom Highway by Shardik 7 Apr 2004, 7:48 AM
Yep, thats a keeper.
replying on Poop! by dougsoderstrom 6 Apr 2004, 8:01 PM
he can't comment - he said he never would again.

Sad, really.
on Cynical? by baughworm 6 Apr 2004, 7:57 PM
line break between that/they're is ungood.
replying on Hologram glasses by zodiac 6 Apr 2004, 7:51 PM
yeah... about that...
on Poop! by dougsoderstrom 6 Apr 2004, 11:49 AM
please. go someplace else with this crap.
on Hologram glasses by zodiac 5 Apr 2004, 2:13 PM
why didn't you just add a new poem instead of blowing this one away?
on Hologram glasses by zodiac 5 Apr 2004, 2:03 PM
I laughed, I cried.

nice job.
replying on ode to summer dreams by jsd 3 Apr 2004, 4:16 AM
yeah, yeah - I know what you meant. (shame!) ;)
replying on Red Dress Wearing One Boot Cowboy by Lenore 2 Apr 2004, 9:30 PM
too "done"
on Red Dress Wearing One Boot Cowboy by Lenore 2 Apr 2004, 9:00 PM
agreed, good title.
on It Won't Last Long by Spindle 2 Apr 2004, 8:59 PM
Topical, I spose.
on Summers Breath on my neck by unouluvme 2 Apr 2004, 8:53 PM
"green" once - certainly not three times.

summer[']s
on Wartner by unouluvme 2 Apr 2004, 8:52 PM
That last bit has to go.

And if you are going to offer up a rewrite, you should especially fix the spelling errors - there really is no good excuse for that.
on Shower by unouluvme 2 Apr 2004, 8:49 PM
a rewrite?
on Almost One by thepinkbunnyofdoom 2 Apr 2004, 8:47 PM
Why does this remind me of every song from 1976 to 1983?