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A Quick Lick Of Yellow (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
A quick lick of yellow Corona and slaves hauling more stones down path lit with hibachi. Plying the night constructing houses for Gods ennobled by hands, many hands, with fingers powdered by lime. Imbibing Ra and Osiris working a magical curium Summoning things with more names to prefecture. Then remember me Pharaoh In this quick lick of yellow as the waters miasma to find us middlebrow & wicked. My dream I scans over pyramids Watching the world swallow itself out of need and set up I am eternally sessile. A quick lick of yellow Timelessly uracil.

Down the ladder: Driftwood

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.090909
Weighted score: 6.0454545
Overall Rank: 1209
Posted: April 6, 2004 1:31 PM PDT; Last modified: April 6, 2004 1:31 PM PDT
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Comments:
[10] wilco @ 24.176.102.131 | 6-Apr-04/1:34 PM | Reply
nice. You don't hear much about old Ra and Osiris these days...I wonder what they're up to?
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.130.214.180 > wilco | 6-Apr-04/1:58 PM | Reply
Up to their necks in bullshit like the lot of us more than likely.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 | 6-Apr-04/2:20 PM | Reply
A shockingly brown autoclam. -10-
[9] deleted user @ 68.66.196.168 | 6-Apr-04/2:36 PM | Reply
A lesson in dictionary usage, and things Egyptian and Japanese. Miasma is a noun, but that's ok. Uracil is a colorless, crystalline, pyrimidine base, and not too well known. I'd prefer a more common word. Same for sessile.
[n/a] Shardik @ 24.130.214.180 > deleted user | 6-Apr-04/6:06 PM | Reply
Here's a lesson in poetry friend, anything fucking goes, try it sometime, and while you're at it, smile.
[9] deleted user @ 68.66.196.168 > Shardik | 6-Apr-04/6:53 PM | Reply
Did you not see the 9. And I'm smiling!
[10] zodiac @ 152.18.33.194 | 6-Apr-04/4:15 PM | Reply
I feel like whenever I try to make a substantive comment on your poems you're like ohmygod bitch, like you can even and shit, but here goes:

I don't see why you didn't write "down a path lit with hibachi, (comma)" or something besides "as the waters miasma". Or why this doesn't make more like your usual amount of sense.

But you do deserve props for inventing the first courier-specific poetry with your truly magical villanelle "Often, I'll sit down to pee." And for being the world's first successful Negro soul transplant. -10-
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.130.214.180 > zodiac | 6-Apr-04/4:41 PM | Reply
Yummy.
[10] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 | 7-Apr-04/2:14 AM | Reply
A timelessly, hand crafted guff-lung hewn from tramp-gusset scrappings.
[9] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.53 | 7-Apr-04/7:49 AM | Reply
I can appreciate the wordplay with the el sounds and the low sounds.

Good consistent imagery; nice.
[0] deleted user @ 172.145.75.64 | 17-Sep-04/8:02 PM | Reply
A sick brick of shallow!
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