on The Day The World Blew Away by OfaRevolutionAJD
2 Apr 2004, 5:25 PM
Five gallons in a ten gallon hat.
replying on To those who'd share their heartfelt feelings with the world by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
2 Apr 2004, 2:04 PM
and shrubbery.
replying on Cargo pants by tre
2 Apr 2004, 9:50 AM
you are a bad man.
replying on A Dangling Poo by zodiac
1 Apr 2004, 8:25 PM
I don't get it.
on Don't Cry, Sharon Tate by wilco
1 Apr 2004, 8:22 PM
I forgot who sharon tate was. Don't make me google.
Sounds good anyway though.
Sounds good anyway though.
on PEOPLE. (Debut) by Doc
1 Apr 2004, 8:18 PM
Yuppy, or hippy?
Got my attention, gimme more you commie bastard. Oh, crap - did I say that out loud?
Got my attention, gimme more you commie bastard. Oh, crap - did I say that out loud?
replying on Watching The Rose Grow by Blindpoetry
1 Apr 2004, 6:13 PM
you gonna fix this so I can give it a score? or what.
on Cargo pants by tre
1 Apr 2004, 6:12 PM
"sorority"
Sure, I get it.
Sure, I get it.
on Chemistry by <Wankster>
1 Apr 2004, 6:09 PM
Four spelling errors.
Is the ending counter-intuitive, or am I missing something?
Is the ending counter-intuitive, or am I missing something?
on My Apology by capachijim
1 Apr 2004, 6:06 PM
yep. that works.
on Color me Lifeless by alverland theme park
1 Apr 2004, 6:05 PM
Sad, but - thankfully - short (this kind of thing can get old quickly)
on lullaby by the indign
1 Apr 2004, 6:01 PM
too "listy" - yes, I made that word up.
Gimme so flow, gimme some "poetry".
Gimme so flow, gimme some "poetry".
on Leaves, hope and dreams by aliena
1 Apr 2004, 5:58 PM
hey aliena, good descriptors - now you just need to say something with them.
on Municipal park by richa
1 Apr 2004, 3:35 PM
Hmmm. Strong methinks - strong.
and "have" should be "have" - you knew that, right?
and "have" should be "have" - you knew that, right?
on Jesus-f-ingChrist I'm Sober by embersandenvelopes
1 Apr 2004, 3:31 PM
sheep is as sheep does. not baaaa-ahd.
replying on Leaves, hope and dreams by aliena
1 Apr 2004, 10:59 AM
lol
on Shampoo and Condition by Luzr
1 Apr 2004, 10:21 AM
Wondering if you could somehow structure the thing to not sound like a shopping list of ennui; to flow a little better.
couple good lines, the starting one in particular. But there are a few things that nag, like why dress to impress when there is vomit on ones face?
I mean, other than the line _sounds_ cute - (maybe better in another poem, but then thats been done already I think).
There's prolly a very nice poem in here after a little distillation.
couple good lines, the starting one in particular. But there are a few things that nag, like why dress to impress when there is vomit on ones face?
I mean, other than the line _sounds_ cute - (maybe better in another poem, but then thats been done already I think).
There's prolly a very nice poem in here after a little distillation.
replying on Bread Wine And Chocolate by Caducus
1 Apr 2004, 10:07 AM
you forgot the "E" on brown though...
on Finest Hour by creedclay
1 Apr 2004, 9:00 AM
not bad. a tad longer than it needs to be AND, I like to come to my own conclusions in a poem - without the author telegraphing what I should be perceiving.
Like telling me its a "picturesque scene" then proceeding to describe it to me. One or the other, preferrably the other.
Same thing with nature at its finest hour,
imparting a lesson in life - know what I mean, vern?
Like telling me its a "picturesque scene" then proceeding to describe it to me. One or the other, preferrably the other.
Same thing with nature at its finest hour,
imparting a lesson in life - know what I mean, vern?
Thats Pr0n, right?