Re: hands by New Life Drug	31-Mar-04/9:56 PM
Yeah, that works.
Re: A Dangling Poo by zodiac	31-Mar-04/8:36 PM
Dust off the geetar, grab yer jamming buddy M.G. and you just might have a HIT - call your agent! I gotta say though, nobody does the [browne] like -=DA=-
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	31-Mar-04/8:31 PM
"Ass Poetica" - nice! In my continuing search to "get" -=DA=- I have read each and every one of his posts, including the one's he's deleted and prolly 90% of the comments. BTW, PLEASE Mr. -=A=-, if you read this - please will you repost "Love Letter to Crystal Lane Swift"???? that was truly a masterverk - I shit you not.
Re: Mariana by wilco	31-Mar-04/8:26 PM
"caustic words of love"... interesting. some nice/interesting images/similies
Re: I Have A Love by Spindle	31-Mar-04/8:24 PM
(no title in body please). Actually a little twist there in the second to last line. Sounds (the situation) so wonderful but then there is this little shadow of doubt (the quarreling). Would be nice to exploit this more. Something like "He's so thoughtful and kind and everything is so wonderful except for the way he stares at my sister's ass when he thinks I don't see" kindof thing.
Re: Watching The Rose Grow by Blindpoetry	31-Mar-04/8:19 PM
nicely and subtly rhymed. EXCEPT HOBBY/LOBBY - god, fix that please.
Re: Transport by baughworm	31-Mar-04/8:17 PM
feels pretty close to something good. I think I need a character reference; a perspective to have it make sense to me.
Re: Transport by baughworm	31-Mar-04/8:17 PM
feels pretty close to something good. I think I need a character reference; a perspective to have it make sense to me.
Re: Over Simplification by Richard	31-Mar-04/8:15 PM
prolly a good performance piece; it makes interesting sounds.
Re: A wicked rose grows in God's grapevine. by SupremeDreamer	31-Mar-04/8:12 PM
Try a version of this that isn't in the first person, see if you still buy it. (I'm not saying you won't, but it might help refine the thought).
Re: matador by ThePariahDog	31-Mar-04/8:08 PM
Feels a tad too "thesorisized". I think it might need more to bring it back to the human condition (cuz, well - its not really about bulls, is it?)
Re: Tuna and sweetcorn by Bobjim	31-Mar-04/8:03 PM
woah. thats deep.
Re: Astronomical by DeadtotheWorld	31-Mar-04/8:02 PM
I'm sorry but I have trouble with the format. Enought that I have trouble getting through it. I think it might have something to do with the sushi I just had.
Re: The Hell With Growing Up by wilco	31-Mar-04/8:01 PM
I think it represents a good snapshot of a frame of mind in the moment just before one "grows up" (whatever that is) - this exact feeling. You may be surprised, and perhaps relieved, to know that there is still a bit to go and you won't spend your entire life wishing for misspent youth. As a slight aside, there is a recent study where folks aged 65 and older were asked what their favorite age was - 40-41 was the most cited result.
Re: metaphor by jsd	31-Mar-04/7:53 PM
a lyric. Tangled is better than mixed, anyday. welcome.
Re: Eyes by tre	31-Mar-04/6:16 PM
couple typos to fix, i think (intentional or not). Kindof a different slant on an old theme; kudos.
Re: Twilight Affair by thepinkbunnyofdoom	31-Mar-04/6:12 PM
"opera of obscenities" - nice. Yes, an edit once the emotion has leveled out a bit would be good for it; a nice distillation.
Re: stains by calliope	31-Mar-04/6:02 PM
Pretty nice, calliope. This is an entirely different style (etc.), but have you read "the old fools" by philip larkin? http://plagiarist.com/poetry/?wid=4879 oh, I just read baughworm's crit on the title - agreed.
Re: Ideals drown Worries by skaskowski	31-Mar-04/5:53 PM
well done - okay, I don't like "sticky" with "Stuck". Have a ten anyway.
Re: A country called Cha by richa	31-Mar-04/5:49 PM
Richa mein freund - I grow familiar with your Australian abstractions; good stuff. nits- "beared"? bore? "entered the picture" - seems like a missed poetic opportunity.