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Mariana (Free verse) by wilco
She bleeds life like a sieve Only slightly crazy, But most assuredly insane. Entrancing with her movement, Given to the moment And taken like a wasted breath. She laughs like the ocean moves, Breaking on the shoreline And giving in to the incessant call. A tiny bit of honeysuckle rose Floating past the farmhouse In the warm southern twilight. Lying between the blades of grass, Without a sound And breaking apart the heavens. She grasps at the seams of her dress Glowing in the fields And dancing with a shadows grace. She’s a little piece of moonlight Riding the nighttime And playing in the atmosphere. A narrow light contrasting the dark Smiling in a knowing way And dodging the darkness between fireflies She came, rushing like a cannonball Without regard for simple things And fading faster than I had hoped Leaning slowly closer to my ear, Whispering caustic words of love And saving me from myself.

Up the ladder: James The Dashing Pirate
Down the ladder: Blinking

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.2272725
Weighted score: 7.1872125
Overall Rank: 37
Posted: February 20, 2004 10:58 PM PST; Last modified: March 31, 2004 6:31 PM PST
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Comments:
[9] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 31-Mar-04/8:26 PM | Reply
"caustic words of love"... interesting.

some nice/interesting images/similies
[8] New Life Drug @ 67.112.121.237 | 31-Mar-04/10:07 PM | Reply
nice images. i love the word caustic. it reminds me of this band "Caustic Notions" but thats beside the point. this sounds like something i would write, therefore, i like it.
[8] richa @ 81.178.243.245 | 1-Apr-04/8:20 AM | Reply
Some of the similes and metaphors, because they are not extended through the poeme, can be confusing.

Some interesting ones though.
[10] deleted user @ 68.169.177.107 | 1-Apr-04/4:32 PM | Reply
I like this one a lot, somewhereman.
[9] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > deleted user | 24-Aug-04/5:52 PM | Reply
I also like this one a lot, compliant Wil.
[8] Mystictwilight @ 205.188.116.68 | 14-Sep-04/9:30 PM | Reply
This one is really good
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