Poemranker [Poem: A Girlâs Climax] [by Dovina] Thu Nov 21 11:08:40 PST 2024

[5] Nateislate @ 67.42.34.70 | 11-Jul-04/11:16 AM | Reply

I'm not sure why, but I can't help from being critical of this poem. First, the word "all" in line 1 is troubling. Is this meant to imply that, after he noticed, there will be no more dieting, etc.? In this sense, the poem is about a woman who lets herself go after she couples up. In the last line, the word "finally" raises questions. What did he notice, that she exists? Or that she's been dieting, etc.? If it's the latter, what was noticed? That she looks good or that she's too skinny and wears too much makeup? Ambiguity is good in moderation, but this poem seems too ambiguous to possess meaning.

If this poem is autobiographical, congratulations on getting noticed. I'm sure you look fabulous.

[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > Nateislate | 11-Jul-04/11:34 AM | Reply

I look fabulous because he noticed. Exactly what he noticed or what the effect will be on my future dieting or makeup are yet to be figured out. Thanks for your comments.

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 > Nateislate | 12-Jul-04/9:37 AM | Reply

Men are harvesting extra nutrients in case they have to go to war. Women are just lazy.

[8] sir_heff @ 65.172.117.1 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 16-Dec-04/9:51 AM | Reply

ha ha, thats great, well put... ha ha... omg i cant stop laughing.. oh hold on let me put the pipe down.... haha nope that didnt help

[5] Nateislate @ 67.42.43.177 > Nateislate | 12-Jul-04/9:56 AM | Reply

I'm just saying, no one likes a fattie. I hope your 226 lbs. includes the weight of your big blimp head. 'cause then it makes sense.

[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > Nateislate | 12-Jul-04/10:11 AM | Reply

Coupled up or not, letting yourself go is fun and worthwhile sometimes. Depends on what you want at the time and in the long run.

[7] wilco @ 66.162.22.123 > Dovina | 12-Jul-04/11:54 AM | Reply

Sure, except for the heart disease and not being able to walk 3 feet without gasping for air.

[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > wilco | 12-Jul-04/12:07 PM | Reply

Oh, hurry on, lad, you can make it!

[7] wilco @ 66.162.22.123 > Dovina | 13-Jul-04/10:36 AM | Reply

lad?

[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > wilco | 13-Jul-04/10:39 AM | Reply

Am I mistaken? Surely not lass?

[7] wilco @ 66.162.22.123 > Dovina | 13-Jul-04/5:03 PM | Reply

No, just don't think I've ever heard anyone actually say the word lad.

[n/a] zodiac @ 217.23.37.85 > Nateislate | 13-Jul-04/3:20 AM | Reply

Regarding your first point: Are you stupid?

[9] edpeterson @ 68.79.6.59 | 12-Jul-04/5:00 AM | Reply

I cannot imagine what one could find ambiguous about this poem.

[10] Dan garcia-Black @ 66.159.205.139 > edpeterson | 13-Jul-04/6:27 AM | Reply

P.O.V.

[10] Dan garcia-Black @ 66.159.205.139 | 13-Jul-04/6:24 AM | Reply

I like everything butt the end. To avoid all the ambiguity, it should read:

After all the dieting,
Makeup,
Fashion,
Poise,
He finally noticed,
He was fat and gay.

[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > Dan garcia-Black | 13-Jul-04/9:57 AM | Reply

Thank you for clearing up the ambiguity people have noticed in this poem and for adding a delightful ending. It explains to anyone who might have been confused by my complex wording why âA Girlsâ Climaxâ is achieved in being noticed by a fat, gay man, and why such a man noticed her.

[7] MR Blobby @ 213.48.74.235 | 13-Jul-04/11:28 AM | Reply

Blobby blobby blob!!

[10] daveslady @ 63.187.200.55 | 13-Jul-04/11:36 AM | Reply

I love the poem but isn't it sad what people put them selves through just to get noticed by others? Why can't we just be our selves and still get noticed? The one that notices you then will truely appreciate who you are compared to the one who notices you for the mask that you put on.

[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > daveslady | 13-Jul-04/11:39 AM | Reply

True, but how do you show him who you are if he doesn't notice something first?

[n/a] god'swife @ 4.232.108.43 > daveslady | 13-Jul-04/5:39 PM | Reply

Ha Ha, and this from a woman who defines herself as some guy's lady. Paaaa-leeeeese!

[n/a] Imago @ 64.8.77.144 | 26-Oct-04/3:20 PM | Reply

6 words: He's just not that into you.

sorry I was looking for a place to drop that new catch phrase. I think your poetry's excellent.

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.154.19.210 > Imago | 26-Oct-04/4:06 PM | Reply

NOT AS EXCELLENT AS YOUR CATCH PHRASES THAT'S FOR SURE!!!!111