poemranker ::A Girl’s Climax by Dovina

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Free verse № 108106

A Girl’s Climax

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 11 Jul 2004 · 22 comments

After all the dieting, Makeup, Fashion, Poise, He finally noticed.

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mean 7.13 weighted 6.88 rank 262 views 371 View voting details →

15 votes so far. Yours would make 16.15 votes so far

22 comments

[5] Nateislate 11-Jul-04/11:16 AM Reply
I'm not sure why, but I can't help from being critical of this poem. First, the word "all" in line 1 is troubling. Is this meant to imply that, after he noticed, there will be no more dieting, etc.? In this sense, the poem is about a woman who lets herself go after she couples up. In the last line, the word "finally" raises questions. What did he notice, that she exists? Or that she's been dieting, etc.? If it's the latter, what was noticed? That she looks good or that she's too skinny and wears too much makeup? Ambiguity is good in moderation, but this poem seems too ambiguous to possess meaning.

If this poem is autobiographical, congratulations on getting noticed. I'm sure you look fabulous.
[n/a] Dovina › Nateislate 11-Jul-04/11:34 AM Reply
I look fabulous because he noticed. Exactly what he noticed or what the effect will be on my future dieting or makeup are yet to be figured out. Thanks for your comments.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › Nateislate 12-Jul-04/9:37 AM Reply
Men are harvesting extra nutrients in case they have to go to war. Women are just lazy.
[8] sir_heff › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 16-Dec-04/9:51 AM Reply
ha ha, thats great, well put... ha ha... omg i cant stop laughing.. oh hold on let me put the pipe down.... haha nope that didnt help
[5] Nateislate › Nateislate 12-Jul-04/9:56 AM Reply
I'm just saying, no one likes a fattie. I hope your 226 lbs. includes the weight of your big blimp head. 'cause then it makes sense.
[n/a] Dovina › Nateislate 12-Jul-04/10:11 AM Reply
Coupled up or not, letting yourself go is fun and worthwhile sometimes. Depends on what you want at the time and in the long run.
[7] wilco › Dovina 12-Jul-04/11:54 AM Reply
Sure, except for the heart disease and not being able to walk 3 feet without gasping for air.
[n/a] Dovina › wilco 12-Jul-04/12:07 PM Reply
Oh, hurry on, lad, you can make it!
[7] wilco › Dovina 13-Jul-04/10:36 AM Reply
lad?
[n/a] Dovina › wilco 13-Jul-04/10:39 AM Reply
Am I mistaken? Surely not lass?
[7] wilco › Dovina 13-Jul-04/5:03 PM Reply
No, just don't think I've ever heard anyone actually say the word lad.
[n/a] zodiac › Nateislate 13-Jul-04/3:20 AM Reply
Regarding your first point: Are you stupid?
[9] edpeterson 12-Jul-04/5:00 AM Reply
I cannot imagine what one could find ambiguous about this poem.
[10] Dan garcia-Black › edpeterson 13-Jul-04/6:27 AM Reply
P.O.V.
[10] Dan garcia-Black 13-Jul-04/6:24 AM Reply
I like everything butt the end. To avoid all the ambiguity, it should read:

After all the dieting,
Makeup,
Fashion,
Poise,
He finally noticed,
He was fat and gay.
[n/a] Dovina › Dan garcia-Black 13-Jul-04/9:57 AM Reply
Thank you for clearing up the ambiguity people have noticed in this poem and for adding a delightful ending. It explains to anyone who might have been confused by my complex wording why “A Girls’ Climax” is achieved in being noticed by a fat, gay man, and why such a man noticed her.
[7] MR Blobby 13-Jul-04/11:28 AM Reply
Blobby blobby blob!!
[10] daveslady 13-Jul-04/11:36 AM Reply
I love the poem but isn't it sad what people put them selves through just to get noticed by others? Why can't we just be our selves and still get noticed? The one that notices you then will truely appreciate who you are compared to the one who notices you for the mask that you put on.
[n/a] Dovina › daveslady 13-Jul-04/11:39 AM Reply
True, but how do you show him who you are if he doesn't notice something first?
[n/a] god'swife › daveslady 13-Jul-04/5:39 PM Reply
Ha Ha, and this from a woman who defines herself as some guy's lady. Paaaa-leeeeese!
[n/a] Imago 26-Oct-04/3:20 PM Reply
6 words: He's just not that into you.

sorry I was looking for a place to drop that new catch phrase. I think your poetry's excellent.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › Imago 26-Oct-04/4:06 PM Reply
NOT AS EXCELLENT AS YOUR CATCH PHRASES THAT'S FOR SURE!!!!111