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Lost (Free verse) by arduinn
Whatever has happened to us? No more love, faith or trust I dream of the times we spent When I was young Then, you were around When I cried My tears you wiped When I was lonely You played with me It was over all too soon Now my life is in ruin Bitter memories in abandon Precious moments were just borrowed heaven Often I sat alone and wondered Questions I have are left unanswered What did he had that Dad didn't? Was it impossible for him to learn? Why wasn't I enough To hold the family together? What about my sisters and brother? Come on Mom, I was only three Was it that easy To just give up on the family? From them you took me away Leaving everything in disarray But you were always so busy You never had time for me So now I have no other choice but to leave I'm sorry Mom but this is how it has to be

Up the ladder: Soap Star Stud Haikus
Down the ladder: A Girl’s Climax

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 33
.. 22
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 11

Arithmetic Mean: 7.133333
Weighted score: 6.8790336
Overall Rank: 384
Posted: June 12, 2004 8:34 AM PDT; Last modified: June 12, 2004 7:44 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 12-Jun-04/8:44 AM | Reply
This would be better for a verb tense sweep.

"Often I sit alone and wondered"

"What does he has that Dad didn't?"

stuff like that.
[n/a] arduinn @ 165.21.83.246 > Shuushin | 12-Jun-04/7:22 PM | Reply
ok.. i get what you mean... thanx
[10] zodiac @ 65.161.41.48 | 12-Jun-04/10:12 AM | Reply
What language is spoken in Singapore? Is it Malay?
[n/a] arduinn @ 165.21.83.246 > zodiac | 12-Jun-04/7:21 PM | Reply
English is the language widely spoken here but Malay is my native language... If you don't mind me asking, why did you ask?

How did you know about this Malay language anyway?
[n/a] arduinn @ 165.21.83.246 > zodiac | 12-Jun-04/7:45 PM | Reply
oh and thanx for the ten
[7] richa @ 81.178.246.218 | 12-Jun-04/3:12 PM | Reply
Reads quite nicely. The conflict at the end is far too cliched though, needs some kind of insight or... something.
[6] horus8 @ 24.130.62.63 | 12-Jun-04/4:17 PM | Reply
Pass me the boiled water and funnel.
[1] god'swife @ 4.232.69.220 | 12-Jun-04/6:46 PM | Reply
A substancial as a miracle whip and cheez-whiz sandwich, and just as tasty.
[n/a] arduinn @ 165.21.83.246 > god'swife | 12-Jun-04/7:50 PM | Reply
I find that you are hard to satisfy but it's a good thing.. Thanx for finding the time to comment...
[3] killingjuliet @ 142.163.146.169 | 13-Jun-04/8:41 AM | Reply
teenage angst
[9] titan69 @ 62.31.23.45 | 14-Jun-04/12:48 PM | Reply
I like this i can picture what you are saying 9/10
[n/a] arduinn @ 165.21.83.240 > titan69 | 27-Jun-04/6:23 AM | Reply
glad tt i got the msg across.. thanx
[1] god'swife @ 4.232.210.23 | 14-Jun-04/7:17 PM | Reply
You write poems that sound like Yoda, or I should say, like Yoda sounds, poems you write.
[n/a] arduinn @ 165.21.83.230 > god'swife | 17-Jun-04/1:08 AM | Reply
hahaha.. i do enjoy watching Star Wars..
[9] electroman1979 @ 198.81.26.16 | 26-Jun-04/1:15 AM | Reply
good poem, -9-
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 > electroman1979 | 26-Jun-04/6:34 AM | Reply
You're such a fat cock. Is this your idea of "constructive criticism"? It's exactly the same as saying "shit poeme, -0-", except instead of telling the truth it inflates them with an absurdly misguided sense of whooshing pride. Perhaps you're thinking of writing some buncombe along the lines of "well I think its important to encourage people to write poetry, just because you dont like something doesnt mean it isnt good". Well don't.
[10] | Broken | @ 202.156.2.82 | 26-Jun-04/10:50 PM | Reply
It's good .. thumbs up! ... You managed to make others
feel your emotions and you explained the poem well.
[n/a] Mus Vai @ 165.21.154.12 | 2-Jul-04/7:52 AM | Reply
Yeh this one's real. I like it.
[7] Prince of Void @ 217.218.131.148 | 24-Aug-04/2:10 AM | Reply
very good ..
[10] sliver @ 63.189.16.39 | 10-Sep-04/3:59 PM | Reply
Well, it appears that two of my poems have made their way to Arduinn's favorites list. To what do I owe this fine pleasure? thank you for the compliment!
[n/a] arduinn @ 165.21.83.230 > sliver | 11-Sep-04/6:37 AM | Reply
hmm.. are there really two? well, what can I say.. I like your style...
[10] sliver @ 63.190.64.157 > arduinn | 11-Sep-04/7:33 AM | Reply
Yea? and I like yers. BTW, I am also NoSage, It's my name, jason, pronounced backwards. c ya
[n/a] arduinn @ 165.21.83.246 > sliver | 14-Sep-04/6:49 AM | Reply
ahh.. great... thanks
do continue writing great pieces k..!
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