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Watching The Rose Grow (Free verse) by Blindpoetry
My Lights Dim Down As She Glows Everybody wants her And she flows with them I hear your voice Running like I'm away Talking back fourth And don't know what to say next Watching you float like a rose Killing time like the blood color you are And time will fly by If you just tell me who you are Waiting for a conclusion Fighting for an answer Give me hints and I'll respond I need practice; I'm not a good dancer - for sure Kiss me now Before I leave I can't stop wishing you a good day So, Dearest, can't you see? I'm watching the Rose grow It's not my hobby But painfull pleasure And I'm at the bus stop... Waiting for you... Waiting for you...

Up the ladder: Slayer Sucks

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.875
Weighted score: 5.235324
Overall Rank: 4202
Posted: March 31, 2004 5:36 PM PST; Last modified: April 1, 2004 7:13 PM PST
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[n/a] Blindpoetry @ | 31-Mar-04/5:36 PM | Reply
- I guess I forced rhyming to much... But everything sounded so much in tune to the rhythm I have in my head. So, I'm keeping it. And I also love what I wrote about. It's not sad, not angery, but a bit happy. Almost, but not to much into the happy mix. Just right outside the door. - But I wrote this in a cheery mood, so... what does that have to say?
[9] wilco @ | 31-Mar-04/6:37 PM | Reply
You did fore the rhyme, but still it flows well.
[10] Shuushin @ | 31-Mar-04/8:19 PM | Reply
nicely and subtly rhymed.

EXCEPT HOBBY/LOBBY - god, fix that please.
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ > Shuushin | 1-Apr-04/2:34 PM | Reply
omfg... I never noticed that I took the name of a store... crap.
Thanks for pointing that out - I'll fix that to... something... Once I think of it...
[10] Shuushin @ > Blindpoetry | 1-Apr-04/6:13 PM | Reply
you gonna fix this so I can give it a score? or what.
[10] Stephen Robins @ | 2-Apr-04/12:02 AM | Reply
Nice poem dicksplat.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ > Stephen Robins | 2-Apr-04/2:41 AM | Reply
Congratulations, fucknut! The suffix 'splat' has now been included in the patented -=Dark_Angel=- invention generator. Having scanned through hundreds of results, it eventually came up, in the form of the following:

- A guffsplat

Further research yielded the following results:

- A negrosplat
- A profoundly drooping piesplat
- A bog-resistant Swiss Army jodhpursplat which dispenses ultraplimpsoll milk
- An exploding outhousesplat surrounded by a plumber's wooden pyrobanjo beard
- A beard-enriched unspeakably illegal sandwichling which oozes evacuation-foreskin mess which can be used to repel an outhousesplat filled with pie byproducts
Much as I hate to piss on your chips, I regret to inform you that the invention generator was funnier when it was simpler. It used to come up with simple gems like "A TRAMP DISPLAY CASE". Now it produces "a beard-enriched unspeakably illegal sandwichling which oozes evacuation-foreskin mess which can be used to repel an outhousesplat filled with pie byproducts". This invention is simply too complicated to be funny. Besides which, it's a meaningless description of a sandwich, not the name of an invention. It fails. You fail. Thanks. -10-

Incidentally, I suggest you set up a website which produces the name of a new invention everytime the user clicks "Refresh". Or is that beyond the bounds of modern computer science?
You are frightfully ignorant. The inventions have become greatly simpler and better over time. The only thing that's changed is the appalling laziness of -=Dark_Angel=- to filter the good inventions from the nonsensical ones. 'A TRAMP DISPLAY CASE' is actually more likely to be generated now than it ever was (although not in capital letters, because it was never generated that way).

Incidentally, that is exactly what the generator already is. Indeede, it generates 30 inventions at a time, and the datafile is a wiki page editable by anyone. It is a secret wiki though, and you're too gay to use it. Thanks!
Sample output:

A plastic leisure prune jelly
A damp hobo
A clam jelly
A diplomatic king-sized pie extractor impregnated with quadrobeard byproducts powered by a dangerously nude appallingly colossal pie
An extraordinary illegally laminated beard moustache
A vicar-hating nappy moustache
A banjotronic boneless chin sausage
A sealed tramp cosy
A false trifle vat
A poisonous peephole sandwich egg
A trouser-shaped cybernetical foetus
A megasandwich drenched in autoblouse juices
A seedy plimpsoll upgrade covered in electro-outhouse extract powered by a sausage-free turbotrifle chock-full of bog discharge
A beard manual reformed from a wooden moustache stool full of tentacles
A violent prawn-shaped wheeled-dwarf sandwich
A prune filled with ultranappy pellets
A dumpling-fuelled trifle-mounted nappy
A stool-fuelled superstool tidy
A corpse-operated trifle-fuelled trout
A patented beak
A beard-compatible chin harness supplied with a twitching foetus
A battery-powered negro jelly that can replace a dwarf-resistant wheeled-spaz launcher
A black-market foetus-flavoured superblimp pouch
A souped-up robojodhpur surrounded by a stool chock-full of negro suction cups
A turbotrifle sandwich
An one-armed egg trifle jam-packed with supernappy pellets
A trouser auditorium which oozes blouse pellets
An abnormal supertrifle
An ungainly attack-dwarf powered by a complimentary buttock-faced foetus
A bum-shaped beard
A plimpsoll-activated shoe launcher
I think you should remove "sandwich" and replace it with "belly".
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ > Stephen Robins | 2-Apr-04/5:54 AM | Reply
Yes, 'sandwich' has outstayed its welcome. As has 'chin'.
What say you to glans, helmet, & miasma?
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ > Stephen Robins | 2-Apr-04/5:59 AM | Reply
'glans', yes. helmet is already there, but it actually means helmet, not what you're thinking of. 'miasma' might be too pretentious, though :(
Nothing is as pretentious as a quadrobeard.
[6] zodiac @ > Stephen Robins | 2-Apr-04/6:25 AM | Reply
Or vesicle, cervix, & pudendum?
[10] Stephen Robins @ > zodiac | 2-Apr-04/6:28 AM | Reply
Oh shit, we've started you off again....
'chin' is good you fool
"frenulum" is better.
The only good thing with 'chin' is 'chin-mounted', which doesn't justify it in general. 'Chin-mounted' can just be added as an adjective.
As the -=Dark_Angel=- who posted the 'sandwichling' invention, allow me to present my defence. The generator has always produced long, complicated and generally unfunny inventions. The reason why you haven't been soiled by these in the past is that -=Dark_Angel=- always screens his comments before posting them, and such inventions are discarded because of their gayness. In this case, however, I was merely showing inventions containing the suffix 'splat'. Given the vast number of words that have now lodged themselves in the generator's glandes, one has to scan through about a hundred or so before the probability of encountering a 'splat' is greater than 50%. I therefore did not discard the 'sandwichling' invention, and am now thoroughly ashamed of both myself, and other(s).
How convenient that there is now a feature to produce only inventions with a given string in them!!!!!!!1
Did you implement this by selecting a particular word e.g. splat, from the data glandes, and then building sentences that include that that word? Or do you get the generator to repeatedly produce sentences (internally) until one containing 'splat' comes up?
The latter, as you would know if you'd had the common decency to look at the inventions page. I thought about doing it a more clever way, but it's just a crude random BNF expander with a load of character substitutions at the end, so I can't think of any other way of doing it that would a) avoid skewing the other parts of the sentence, b) allow for multiple words and fragments of words.
An omnipotent splattered guff of an invention making invention.
Am about to scan for inventions containing 'negro' - IT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF DOING!!!!!111
A steam-powered negro boothe
An electronegro swimming in negro juices
An oversized negro
A profoundly brave negro
A negro wipe
A negro caddy
A shamefully foul negro uniform
A disgustingly souped-up gentleman's moustache which opens up to reveal a negro buttock
A peephole negro
An enormous negro moustache
A negro
Always a pleasure to be the harbinger of a new invention.

A pre-eminent Glans-splat.
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