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Leaves, hope and dreams

Member since 2002 · Posted 1 Apr 2004 · Edited 1 Apr 2004 · 14 comments

Fallen leaves on the ground Are shooed away by the wind Sliding tumbling they go Down the road, swishing crackling Crunching sounds as they are crushed By footsteps and tires And the low rumbling thunder reverbarating like a distant jet approaching Mourns all things crushed and fallen Leaves, hope and dreams

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14 comments

[n/a] Luzr 1-Apr-04/9:01 AM Reply

Whose doing the mourning? No vote for now

[n/a] aliena › Luzr 1-Apr-04/9:03 AM Reply

Good question. LOL It is the thunder actually, but when I reread the poem, I see your point.. it could be the jet too. I am thinking of how to make it more clear....

[7] zodiac › aliena 1-Apr-04/9:11 AM Reply

There is no jet in this poem, only something compared to a jet. Probably thunder. What's weird is people usually say it the other way around - a jet sounds like distant thunder - not, that thunder sounds exactly like a jet. More importantly, why a jet, anyway? Were you just trying to think of something that thunder sounds like? You should consider whether it adds any meaning to the poem to have a jet brought in - rather than, say, a guy swinging a big piece of sheet metal, or a giant faraway shovel turning enormous amounts of earth. I think the approaching jet could mean something, but you don't give us any idea what. And you might want to check your spelling on reverberating. There, I just made it easy for you.

[n/a] aliena › zodiac 1-Apr-04/9:24 AM Reply

Thanks. I edited in haste and so mispelled "reverberating" :-(. The situation is like this. It is thundering sporadically outside and it kind of reminds me of an approaching plane. Maybe I should remove that whole line...

[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 1-Apr-04/9:14 AM Reply

Oh yes how beautiful. I often think it's very sad that we indiscriminately tred on dead leaves, crushing all their hopes and dreams. You know it doesn't really matter who does the mourning - everyone has their own interpretation, and opinions are what really matters. Besides, it's profoundly silly either way. Mourning what? Stepping on dead leaves? What in Sodomy were you thinking!? Thanks, -10-

[n/a] Luzr › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 1-Apr-04/9:18 AM Reply

LOL, too true.

[n/a] aliena › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 1-Apr-04/9:30 AM Reply

thanks. I agree with you about interpretation. Mourning dead leaves? LOL never thought of that!! Interesting... Actually, I was flattering myself that the thunder was mourning my crushed dreams!! [along with the fallen leaves of course] Or maybe it is mourning all mankind's disappointments.... I guess I am raving a little bit today...

[7] richa 1-Apr-04/9:56 AM Reply

The title reminds me of that panda gangsta book - eats shoots and leaves.

[7] Shuushin › richa 1-Apr-04/10:59 AM Reply

lol

[n/a] aliena › richa 2-Apr-04/12:00 AM Reply

LOL :-)

[8] deleted user 1-Apr-04/12:36 PM Reply

Let them talk. I like some of these images.

[7] Shuushin 1-Apr-04/5:58 PM Reply

hey aliena, good descriptors - now you just need to say something with them.

[8] New Life Drug 1-Apr-04/6:53 PM Reply

i think it should just be called "leaves"

[n/a] aliena › New Life Drug 2-Apr-04/12:03 AM Reply

thanks fr the suggestion... I had orignally considered fallen leaves, but leaves is better