DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

ode to summer dreams

Member since 2004 · Posted 1 Apr 2004 · 7 comments

a ticklish summer scheme fitting so well with my eternal summer dream of hot air eves with hands around my waist a guitar nearby and dirt on my feet and so many girlish wishes carelessly spent on feeling complete sun down, your town, keys turn, heat burns wheels roll and i'm on my way to feeling whole streetlights on, act upon, doors close, forget woes a giddy embrace wrapped up in the arms of grace under dusklit skies entranced by golden eyes nobody's out to buy your story, nobody wants to hear your reasons why just look above to the glory and ahead, deep into july keep your reasons close to your soul and put a little love in this hole ...and those classified hours with you we'd love to repeat soaking in the music and everything you do nights happily spent feeling complete

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 7.56 weighted 6.28 rank 907 views 177 View voting details →

9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

7 comments

[10] Stephen Robins 2-Apr-04/4:50 AM Reply

This poem could amaze,
In many different ways,
However if it stays,
I will forfeit my lunch out of my bum before reaching a loo.

[7] deleted user 2-Apr-04/6:37 AM Reply

Most of the rhymes are forced. You'd do better without them, I think. Still, some good lines, "keep your reasons close to your soul."

[8] Shuushin 2-Apr-04/6:08 PM Reply

"put a little love in this hole"

Thats Pr0n, right?

[n/a] jsd › Shuushin 2-Apr-04/11:12 PM Reply

haha oh my...

Didn't mean it like that. The "hole" to which I referred is more like a void in one's heart or soul.

[8] Shuushin › jsd 3-Apr-04/4:16 AM Reply

yeah, yeah - I know what you meant. (shame!) ;)

[8] Spindle 2-Apr-04/7:25 PM Reply

"wheels roll and i'm on my way to feeling whole" is ackward but I loved "under dusklit skies/entranced by golden eyes" keep it up :)

[n/a] jsd › Spindle 2-Apr-04/11:11 PM Reply

thanks - the wheels roll line is actually one of my favorites, because a lot of this has to do with driving long hours to meet up with someone I didn't get to see often. thanks for your comment!