Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Psalm of Wonder (Free verse) by Dovina
Surely not in vain My form from dust You made So gently shaped, designed Surely You would not decay Your craft on which You worked Back to common earth again Even a peevish boy Who forms a bowl from clay Seldom in a fit of anger Decides to smash his work Will He who formed the vessel Be it out of love or fancy In an afterthought destroy it? Would He who made a forest Complete with birds and fawns Then erupt a mountain To bury it in ash? Would He who loves a people Along an Asian coast Move the tranquil sea To drown it with a wave? How wondrous Your creations seem to me How trivial and common They must be to You


You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 41
.. 10
.. 00
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 7.5555553
Weighted score: 6.2777777
Overall Rank: 902
Posted: January 30, 2005 4:39 PM PST; Last modified: January 30, 2005 4:39 PM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.11.12 | 31-Jan-05/5:42 AM | Reply
I suppose whatever I say, you'll just say it works on an emotional level.

This poem does not work on an emotional level.
[n/a] Dovina @ 205.184.71.11 > zodiac | 31-Jan-05/10:38 AM | Reply
This poem does not work on an emotional level.
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.14.17 > Dovina | 1-Feb-05/5:26 AM | Reply
In all honesty, I've become very curious lately about how this poem does work, if it does in fact work. It seems pretty obvious to me that since for God death is probably pretty meaningless, he'd have no problem killing a bunch of things, or even a bunch of things at once. It would only seem calamitous to humans and some animals, who aren't sure if there's anything after death. To use your image, since God knows the bow'l's only going to be recreated and better (ie, perfectly nude), either instantly or after the Final Trumping, what's it to him if he breaks it. But the bow'l probably thinks, Oh fuck! Why??!?!?

PS-Would you greatly mind making your punctuation consistent?
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.14.108 > zodiac | 1-Feb-05/7:29 AM | Reply
It works in recognizing the existence of God, as you have said. It also points out God’s apparent unconcern for his creations, which seem no more important to him than an ant farm as Wilco mentions below. He does not seem like the loving, caring God that so many people depend on and look to for help.

The punctuation is consistent in its own way.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.153.196.50 > Dovina | 1-Feb-05/7:36 AM | Reply
Do you believe in God, but reject Him for not being caring enough?
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.13.182 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 1-Feb-05/11:23 AM | Reply
Yes, for all the good it does an ant to reject the boy who destroys its nest. No, rejection is futile. Understanding is futile too, but I feel a little better about it.
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.11.12 > Dovina | 1-Feb-05/9:23 PM | Reply
But once again you've written a poem that accepts God but dismisses the likelihood that if there's a God then He's created a Nuders' Paradise in the Beyond and everything He destroys gets to go there free. YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.9.43 > zodiac | 2-Feb-05/7:12 AM | Reply
That's illogical! Why does accepting that there is a God imply that He probably created some paradise? You are a very silly person to think that.
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.11.12 > Dovina | 2-Feb-05/9:43 PM | Reply
What other reason would there be for a God? To manage my insect life for me? To make sure I don't suddenly fall off the ground and hurtle at incredible velocity into the big solid underside of some cloud?

Part of the definition of God is 'Big person who lives in heaven and judges who to put in heaven and who to condemn to wool trousers and too-tight stocking caps forever'. The number of people who've altogether EVER lived on earth who believed in God but didn't believe in some afterlife or other is, like, zero. Where we all run around contradicting ourselves all over the place is thinking there is some great afterlife, we're all going to be saved, whoever's not saved deserves it, and it sucks when God whemies some poor bastard, sinner or not, out the other side. If you believe in any God, that's simply garbage.

PS-Considering that I don't really believe in God, I probably am a very silly person.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.4.250 > zodiac | 3-Feb-05/12:09 PM | Reply
The problem with your definition of God is that you base it on reasons for God. Our reasons for God always develop from our perceived need for God. Such thinking leads its opponents to say things like, “Man created God in his own image.” If we can get away from projecting onto God what we want Him to be, we stand a better chance of understanding what He might really be like.
[n/a] richa @ 81.178.239.228 > Dovina | 3-Feb-05/3:18 PM | Reply
God is not one of us, we can't go around talking like he is some flawed individual who probably will not live up to our expectations. Jesus. Did you know that God is so great he can create a box that can not be escaped from.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.10.11 > richa | 3-Feb-05/3:58 PM | Reply
And a rock so heavy he cannot lift it. Does that make Him flawed?
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.11.12 > Dovina | 4-Feb-05/4:08 AM | Reply
I don't understand how anything you've said really responds to my comment above. Would you mind clarifying?

If I get you right (and I'm not at all certain I do), things are heading in something like the following direction:

DOVINA: People (should) find God a hard guy to like because he often crushes them like insects with little or no warning, and probably no concern on his part (cf. your poem).

ZODIAC: But God knows those people are going to heaven, so he's not bound to care for their insectly earthly lives.

DOVINA: Who says there's a heaven just because there's a God?

ZODIAC: Most people.

DOVINA: That's because people want to believe God made a heaven. Maybe he didn't.

ZODIAC: Indeed maybe he didn't. It seems just as likely that he didn't as that he did. But considering that the point of this poem (or the only one I can imagine it having) is to make most people question why they think God is so swell (since he crushes people etc etc), then it's a bunk argument. Any person in the world put in that position is bound to say, Because he made a nice heaven for us to go to after we're crushed.

Incidentally, I know I'm paraphrasing something awful above. Please, please don't make the gist of your response that I've paraphrased something. You and I both know perfectly well what was really said, and if we forget, we have the comments above to reread. If you do, I'm afraid I can't be your friend anymore.

:-(
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.6.171 > zodiac | 4-Feb-05/7:30 AM | Reply
Your paraphrasing does not come across with its usual inaccuracy and therefore impossibility of apt response. No, I agree with your summary given its summary nature. My recent response was to richa’s comment and deviated from yours, and for that you unjustly poked criticism.

Now to your most recent comment.

The point of the poem is not to convince people of something. It is not to criticize their faith. It is to express feelings I personally have about God. The fact that my understanding of Him differs from those people who find Him a loving and caring God who wants to make His people happy by sending them to heaven via disaster is not my point. I want to understand God as He is, and this poem, I believe, is a step in that direction.
[10] zodiac @ 212.38.134.51 > Dovina | 5-Feb-05/12:46 AM | Reply
re: "and for that you unjustly poked criticism."

No, I really meant your response to my comment. I was just afraid of it being misplaced, so I tagged it on your last comment on that string. Sorry.

re: The rest.

Jesus Christ. You're a long way from that.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.8.216 > zodiac | 5-Feb-05/8:20 AM | Reply
Admittedly.
[10] jroday @ 204.215.33.133 > Dovina | 1-Feb-05/5:39 AM | Reply
There is no peace, saith the Lord, unto the wicked.
They shall seek peace, and there shall be none.
All his days are sorrows, and his travail grief.
I am full of confusion. Isa. 48 22
Ezek.7 25
Eccl. 2 23
Job 10 15
I bless you with a -10-
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.14.108 > jroday | 1-Feb-05/7:29 AM | Reply
Thanks for showing that I am not the only person in the long history of mankind to think of God in this rather dismal way, certainly not a way that appeals to our usual emotions.

By the way, where’s the 10 you promised?
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.9.43 > Dovina | 2-Feb-05/7:16 AM | Reply
You returned and did it. Thanks.
[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 216.68.193.145 | 31-Jan-05/12:17 PM | Reply
I disagree. It does work on an emotional level.
[9] wilco @ 24.165.207.93 > thepinkbunnyofdoom | 31-Jan-05/3:35 PM | Reply
Zodiac doesn't have emotions.
[n/a] Luzr @ 216.68.192.66 > wilco | 1-Feb-05/12:50 AM | Reply
All the more reason for it to work. Minus emotion, you get thought, and thought more often than not, Invokes emotion.

<3 Jason
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.14.17 > Luzr | 1-Feb-05/5:28 AM | Reply
I'm not at all sure that's true.

PS-The part about not having emotion hurts. So, for that matter, does lacking the ability to shit more than once a week, and then only pathetic little rabbit turds. You Americans don't know how lucky you are to shit twice, thrice even, daily.
[9] wilco @ 24.165.207.93 | 31-Jan-05/3:36 PM | Reply
Not a bad sentiment here. That God is a funny character. Always doing things to upset the legions of peons that he created. Kind of like an ant farm, we are. Little kid has an ant farm..gets bored, shakes it up and ruins all their tunnels...mmhmm
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.14.108 > wilco | 1-Feb-05/7:30 AM | Reply
Good analogy. Ants would not like such a god as this boy is.
[2] Stephen Robins @ 82.211.67.131 | 2-Feb-05/3:51 AM | Reply
Nonsense.
[2] Stephen Robins @ 82.211.67.131 > Stephen Robins | 2-Feb-05/3:57 AM | Reply
To elaborate: The role of our Anglican God is to defend us from the wickedness of the islam and the buddhist Gods who stroll around wreaking havoc with droughts and Tsunami's. The Christian Lord is strongest where the faith is strongest - notice how few natural disasters befall the British Isles and any natural commotion, such as the earthquake which ravaged Birmingham with a richter scale reading of 4, center on areas where the faith Anglican God is not strong.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.9.43 > Stephen Robins | 2-Feb-05/7:15 AM | Reply
It's that sort of thinking that gives rise to snake charmers and people who sit on mountain tops because somebody says Jesus will return on a certain day.
329 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001