Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The Kings of Paradise (Other) by Spindle
Dark as night with the day's own light the rays flicker and fall. In the dim below all things do glow the same one and all. Here Royals hold court on the proud wooden support yet never knowing they're there. None of them caring, yet all of them sharing that same knowing stare. In front of their face roam jesters in lace dancing round like the smoke in the sky. But suddenly light gives them a good fright and they all must say goodbye.

Up the ladder: My only friendship Poem
Down the ladder: Emily Gray

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 01
.. 10
.. 00
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.6
Weighted score: 5.190725
Overall Rank: 4705
Posted: April 7, 2004 1:39 PM PDT; Last modified: April 7, 2004 1:39 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[7] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 7-Apr-04/7:18 PM | Reply
All too many "all"s ...

zodiac, you're starting to scare me.
[9] zodiac @ 67.240.192.246 > Shuushin | 7-Apr-04/8:43 PM | Reply
I didn't notice the alls. When I first read this, I think I saw it as a bitter metaphor for p/r, which is why I gave it such a high vote. But looking at it now, I'm inclined to regard it as a magick-faieriye-dance poem, with some silly language like "Dark as night with day's own light." That doesn't make the slightest sense; it's just poetic jibber-jabber. So, a compromise: Spindle, you slipped one by me, so your vote stands. I'll be more careful in the future.
[n/a] Spindle @ 68.83.2.194 > zodiac | 7-Apr-04/9:01 PM | Reply
Actually, it's about drugs.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 > Spindle | 8-Apr-04/5:12 AM | Reply
WELL THAT'S NOVEL
[7] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.52 > Spindle | 8-Apr-04/8:20 AM | Reply
it is? What kind of drugs?
[n/a] Spindle @ 68.83.2.194 > Shuushin | 8-Apr-04/12:25 PM | Reply
Marijuana. "...roam jesters in lace/dancing round like the smoke in the sky." Get it?
[9] zodiac @ 67.240.192.176 > Spindle | 8-Apr-04/1:35 PM | Reply
No. Have you ever smoked marijuana? I am. Did you know there are other jestery smokeable drugs that can be more accurately described as lacy than weed. No, I'd guess not, since you are the kind of person who'd say a poem is about 'drugs'.
[n/a] Spindle @ 68.83.2.194 > zodiac | 8-Apr-04/6:56 PM | Reply
o.k......
[9] zodiac @ 67.240.155.8 > Spindle | 8-Apr-04/9:31 PM | Reply
Supremely bow'ls
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 > Spindle | 9-Apr-04/5:38 AM | Reply
Are you that proud of smoking a marijuana that you have to soil yourself in public like this?
[n/a] Spindle @ 64.12.117.6 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 9-Apr-04/9:10 PM | Reply
"a marijuana?" Can we just stick to what this site is suppose to be about; reading other peoples' works and critiquing them instead of making petty insults towards personality flaws you think you find in the two sentences you read of a comment by them?
[9] zodiac @ 67.240.192.58 > Spindle | 10-Apr-04/6:32 AM | Reply
Fine. This poem is a failure on several different levels. I recommend that you write about things you actually have some experience with in a straightforward and relatively unambiguous way. You're welcome.
[n/a] Spindle @ 64.12.117.6 > zodiac | 10-Apr-04/8:52 AM | Reply
Excuse me, but I have had some experience. I never said I was the one doing the drugs, did I?
[9] zodiac @ 67.240.155.138 > Spindle | 10-Apr-04/9:29 AM | Reply
If you weren't, how could you possibly consider yourself qualified to talk about them like this? As it happens, the dope (ie, the drugs or the marijuana) isn't mostly consumed by blank-staring uncommunicative drones in dark rat-holes, meaning that this entire poem is a humungous nothing. What's more, if I were to ask you here whether poetry should veil or disguise its subject/meaning with ambiguous images and wordplay, you would undoubtedly say yes, which is a triple-word-scoring 'dunce' with an extra, ungrammatical 'Qu'.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.153.196.32 > zodiac | 10-Apr-04/9:38 AM | Reply
You're in the special drugs club because you once smoked a marijuana and are therefore qualified to talk about the roaming jesters in lace. Congratulations!!!!111
[9] zodiac @ 67.240.155.138 > zodiac | 10-Apr-04/9:42 AM | Reply
I'm not trying to imply that I'm supremely knowledgeable in all things drug- or drinking-related. But I do have enough experience with the subject to know not to categorize and typify it in some bullshit tidy moralized dross. I can almost guarantee you that at least a half of your teachers or co-workers smoke/smoked marijuana - and probably not the rat-like ones, either. Does this poem frown upon them all with 'that same knowing stare' of unknowing sanctimony? YES! At least, inasmuch as it's about drug-users, which I still doubt, then, yes, it does. In the meantime, considering that you're a human being living in America/Europe, you likely have dozens of bad habits and ill-conceived notions of your own that are worth looking at, many of them more dangerous than occasional drug use. Why don't you take a crack at one of those next time you post? Does it make you feel better that at least you're not a junkie? Screw that. We all get our various fixes in our own ways.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.153.196.32 > zodiac | 10-Apr-04/11:34 AM | Reply
You may not think drugs = naughty, but that's no reason to tell a young, innocent poete to take a crack. Besides, why should anyone write about their own 'ill-conceived notions' as opposed a naughty drug user's 'ill-conceived notions'? Do you think it's naughty to criticise the wither'd prawne in another man's eye before crushing the bulging lobster in your own? Bow'ls, I say. The truth is that there is only one ill-conceived notion any poete should write about. And that is the notion that your poetry isn't a complete load of absolute guff -10-
[9] zodiac @ 67.240.192.241 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 10-Apr-04/12:50 PM | Reply
Of course all poetry is guff. But it's guff you can make a comfortable living from if you learn to do it right, and I find it slightly more respectable than developing new extra-destructive explosives or some strain of supercholera or predicting stock futures or buying bankrupt people's houses for massively profitable resale - all of which are also guff to the max. And literature (and the requirement that it be taught to children) has a net liberalizing effect on the world, which I think is supremely useful and non-guff. -10-
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 > Spindle | 10-Apr-04/6:53 AM | Reply
No'm.
175 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001