| Re: The Idea of Fusion at the Beach (After Wallace Stevens) by coffeespoons |
14-Apr-04/8:17 PM |
I'll grant you the ending is Stevensish - I'm reminded more of Thoreau with the rest.
And there's not too much bad about that.
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| Re: Dear M Foucault, or, How I knew our relationship was doomed by zodiac |
14-Apr-04/7:47 PM |
LoL. Brilliant.
Leets see, you don't have a nine yet...
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| Re: a comment on Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? |
14-Apr-04/7:37 PM |
yep. Gonna agree with you on this ONE.
You aren't making a wonderful first impression...
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| Re: a comment on The Queen & The Locksmith by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
14-Apr-04/7:35 PM |
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Don't make me give my "sonnets don't have to be iambic pentameter" speech again...
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| Re: a comment on Dear Lord by simone_girard |
14-Apr-04/7:35 PM |
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Don't make me give my "sonnets don't have to be iambic pentameter" speech again...
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| Re: a comment on The Smarts aint Stupids by Shardik |
14-Apr-04/7:34 PM |
Don't make me give my "sonnets don't have to be iambic pentameter" speech again...
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| Re: a comment on being human by ggawrysi |
14-Apr-04/11:08 AM |
dolphins are _verry_ eenteresting creatures; worthy of more exploration.
2 quick things, 1) they basically don't sleep and barely dream - 2) they have a sense of "self" that most other animals lack (they can recognize themselves in a mirror, for example).
I know, not much to do with the poem - but maybe it gives you some ideas.
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| Re: a comment on China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu |
14-Apr-04/11:02 AM |
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| Re: a comment on China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu |
14-Apr-04/10:38 AM |
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a girl sits under a tree and a wolf suddenlycomes - she screams?
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| Re: a comment on China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu |
13-Apr-04/7:03 PM |
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Stultus est sicut stultus facit...
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| Re: China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu |
13-Apr-04/6:34 PM |
broken here:
"I do admit that little fit
She threw hampered my clever plot"
would rather seen "thrown" not bone rhyme with stone (bone is illogical)
"ease so fair" blows.
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| Re: sum of squares by nentwined |
13-Apr-04/6:32 PM |
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a great flow K, I like a good rhyme when it isn't forced, and this one works well on a non-common sentiment.
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| Re: Help Me Water The Garden by Blindpoetry |
13-Apr-04/6:27 PM |
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keep the last stanza sans last line and, well... save the rest for another poem. or something.
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| Re: Diary entry (edit) by richa |
13-Apr-04/6:05 PM |
Well, I'm still a little miffed that you didn't come to my desperate aid on "The People" - but I forgive you.
hefty wood pigeon... is this a type of pigeon, or are you telling me the pigeon is hefty and made of wood? I sincerely thought the latter until I started trying to help you come up with a way to say it was hefty without saying "hefty". And now I feel dumb.
Is the last stanza part of a question?
maple it is, maple it isn't...
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| Re: Ballad for a bad Irish accent by zodiac |
12-Apr-04/7:08 PM |
Despite some stumbles in the last part of S3 this thing rocks hard from L1 S1 to L8 S5 -
Excellent job - you've now earned the right to be an asshole for 3 more months.
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| Re: lost memories by ggawrysi |
12-Apr-04/12:55 PM |
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Quite the American University fan club you've got going there ggawrysi.
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| Re: Jesus Rises from the Grove by wilco |
11-Apr-04/9:04 AM |
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| Re: Creation of all Things by KnightofMidkemia |
11-Apr-04/7:56 AM |
I like its unusual slant (that its not about a person), but time to remake the last line.
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| Re: One voice by tre |
11-Apr-04/7:54 AM |
no apostrophe on "nails"
Did a pretty good job of putting me in the moment -
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| Re: a comment on On the Theme of Melted Pianos by embersandenvelopes |
11-Apr-04/7:17 AM |
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Trying to figure out why you slammed "My Nemesis", thought maybe you didn't understand the subtlety of the mythology behind it.
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