on Dear M Foucault, or, How I knew our relationship was doomed by zodiac
14 Apr 2004, 7:47 PM
LoL. Brilliant.
Leets see, you don't have a nine yet...
Leets see, you don't have a nine yet...
replying on Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
14 Apr 2004, 7:37 PM
yep. Gonna agree with you on this ONE.
You aren't making a wonderful first impression...
You aren't making a wonderful first impression...
replying on The Queen & The Locksmith by Jeremi B. Handrinos
14 Apr 2004, 7:35 PM
Don't make me give my "sonnets don't have to be iambic pentameter" speech again...
replying on Dear Lord by simone_girard
14 Apr 2004, 7:35 PM
Don't make me give my "sonnets don't have to be iambic pentameter" speech again...
replying on The Smarts aint Stupids by Shardik
14 Apr 2004, 7:34 PM
Don't make me give my "sonnets don't have to be iambic pentameter" speech again...
replying on being human by ggawrysi
14 Apr 2004, 11:08 AM
dolphins are _verry_ eenteresting creatures; worthy of more exploration.
2 quick things, 1) they basically don't sleep and barely dream - 2) they have a sense of "self" that most other animals lack (they can recognize themselves in a mirror, for example).
I know, not much to do with the poem - but maybe it gives you some ideas.
2 quick things, 1) they basically don't sleep and barely dream - 2) they have a sense of "self" that most other animals lack (they can recognize themselves in a mirror, for example).
I know, not much to do with the poem - but maybe it gives you some ideas.
replying on China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu
14 Apr 2004, 11:02 AM
cool, thx.
replying on China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu
14 Apr 2004, 10:38 AM
a girl sits under a tree and a wolf suddenlycomes - she screams?
replying on China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu
13 Apr 2004, 7:03 PM
Stultus est sicut stultus facit...
on China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu
13 Apr 2004, 6:34 PM
broken here:
"I do admit that little fit
She threw hampered my clever plot"
would rather seen "thrown" not bone rhyme with stone (bone is illogical)
"ease so fair" blows.
"I do admit that little fit
She threw hampered my clever plot"
would rather seen "thrown" not bone rhyme with stone (bone is illogical)
"ease so fair" blows.
on sum of squares by nentwined
13 Apr 2004, 6:32 PM
a great flow K, I like a good rhyme when it isn't forced, and this one works well on a non-common sentiment.
on Help Me Water The Garden by Blindpoetry
13 Apr 2004, 6:27 PM
keep the last stanza sans last line and, well... save the rest for another poem. or something.
on Diary entry (edit) by richa
13 Apr 2004, 6:05 PM
Well, I'm still a little miffed that you didn't come to my desperate aid on "The People" - but I forgive you.
hefty wood pigeon... is this a type of pigeon, or are you telling me the pigeon is hefty and made of wood? I sincerely thought the latter until I started trying to help you come up with a way to say it was hefty without saying "hefty". And now I feel dumb.
Is the last stanza part of a question?
maple it is, maple it isn't...
hefty wood pigeon... is this a type of pigeon, or are you telling me the pigeon is hefty and made of wood? I sincerely thought the latter until I started trying to help you come up with a way to say it was hefty without saying "hefty". And now I feel dumb.
Is the last stanza part of a question?
maple it is, maple it isn't...
on Ballad for a bad Irish accent by zodiac
12 Apr 2004, 7:08 PM
Despite some stumbles in the last part of S3 this thing rocks hard from L1 S1 to L8 S5 -
Excellent job - you've now earned the right to be an asshole for 3 more months.
Excellent job - you've now earned the right to be an asshole for 3 more months.
on lost memories by ggawrysi
12 Apr 2004, 12:55 PM
Quite the American University fan club you've got going there ggawrysi.
on Jesus Rises from the Grove by wilco
11 Apr 2004, 9:04 AM
Good storytelling.
on Creation of all Things by KnightofMidkemia
11 Apr 2004, 7:56 AM
I like its unusual slant (that its not about a person), but time to remake the last line.
replying on On the Theme of Melted Pianos by embersandenvelopes
11 Apr 2004, 7:17 AM
Trying to figure out why you slammed "My Nemesis", thought maybe you didn't understand the subtlety of the mythology behind it.
And there's not too much bad about that.