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Ballad for a bad Irish accent (Lyric) by zodiac
It’s dusk agin, and the dying wind blows soft down in old Kilkenny, by the lake there’s peace for the ducks and geese but for me – no, there isn’t any. For the hillside glows in a deepening rose ‘neath a sky unending and twilit, and it seems to my eyes like the elephant thighs of my long-lost, beautiful Violet. O the whores in Cork were all thin as storks when I walked Greene Street as a dandy, ‘til I found a-one with a multiple chin and a seventy-cent hand shandy. And we would ride like she was the tide, and I was a harbor pilot, (but more men than me couldn’t tame the sea, of my stout, untamable Violet.) “Ay, Violet,” I said, “ye shall be wed, for it’s me who ye shall be marryin’!” But Violet just grinned, and broke some wind with a smell of mushrooms and carrion, then lit for the door. “Wait!” I yelled, “you whore!” and chased her, so for a while it seemed no doubt I would wear her out – my blimp-like, beautiful Violet. O I kept up hope ‘til we reached the slope of the hill which they call Ben Bentham; as she topped the knoll, she began to roll with incredible ease and momentum. Nor did she brake when she hit the lake, heading out for a distant islet – but her legs alone weighed seventeen stone – so she drowned, my corpulent Violet. Now it’s dusk agin, and the dying wind is cooling the noon-day swelter; and it stirs the trees where I sit (for these are all that I have for shelter.) Ay, you can do what you want with Sue; you can keep your Snorkeling Jenny – but I’ll watch the deeps where my true love sleeps by the lake down in old Kilkenny.

Up the ladder: Luke Hanney's 43rd Dream

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10  .. 83
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 6.986614
Overall Rank: 101
Posted: April 12, 2004 6:05 PM PDT; Last modified: April 12, 2004 6:20 PM PDT
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Comments:
[10] horus8 @ 24.130.214.180 | 12-Apr-04/6:33 PM | Reply
You should get an action figure too, you're good.
I don't know who in the fuck you are, and you need to be spanked, but you're good.
[n/a] pain killer @ 217.159.74.253 > horus8 | 7-Jun-04/12:37 PM | Reply
oh zodiac you're great
no horus you are great
no but zodias you are wonderful can i kiss your clinky bot PLEASE!
no horus you re king of the poemranker
well yeh i'm good but gosh so are you
shall we be, like, homesexual with one another?yeh and keep all these young pups off the site while we are AT IT

hey zode..what all this about ducks and geese hen? oh you cunt...kilkenny/any...beautiful!!!

twotter

wibble

[10] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 12-Apr-04/7:08 PM | Reply
Despite some stumbles in the last part of S3 this thing rocks hard from L1 S1 to L8 S5 -

Excellent job - you've now earned the right to be an asshole for 3 more months.
[7] edpeterson @ 68.79.14.47 | 13-Apr-04/6:40 AM | Reply
pretty funny
[9] richa @ 81.178.253.141 | 13-Apr-04/7:06 AM | Reply
very good, agree with shuushin about s3 though.
[9] ggawrysi @ 147.9.151.22 | 13-Apr-04/10:46 PM | Reply
i was amused, and i think that Shuushin was mistaken about S3; you have to read it out loud, it flows better. however, i had a little trouble with S5, lost the rhythm. overall, very well done.
[n/a] deleted user @ 67.165.254.252 | 20-Apr-04/1:19 AM | Reply
Although good, I have serious doubts that you actually wrote this. Did you have some help?
[n/a] zodiac @ 67.240.192.133 > deleted user | 20-Apr-04/4:16 AM | Reply
Did you have some help typing this comment?
[10] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.51 > zodiac | 20-Apr-04/6:08 AM | Reply
lol - why didn't he think you wrote this??

too funny.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 18-Nov-05/10:35 AM | Reply
You probably won't see this but this is like a blend of two of my favorite poets. E.A. Poe and Benny Hill.

Kilkenny? Southpark?

The poem's a classic or should be.
[4] Edna Sweetlove @ 85.210.255.116 | 16-Jan-07/12:03 PM | Reply
What the flying fuck is "a seventy-cent hand shandy" ? Or am I missing something just to poetic for words? I assume "Snorkelling Jenny" (double LL please) is a Brechtian reference
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