replying on stranger by francis nor capule
19 Apr 2004, 8:22 AM
need more roughage - it will help with your colons.
replying on stranger by francis nor capule
19 Apr 2004, 8:21 AM
Oooo, oooo! Let me tell him!! Can I, Can I???
replying on Suicide Girl by wilco
18 Apr 2004, 8:05 AM
either way - good stuff, nwman.
Mmmmm Zoloft is delicious (I personally don't touch the stuff)
Mmmmm Zoloft is delicious (I personally don't touch the stuff)
replying on Suicide Girl by wilco
18 Apr 2004, 5:23 AM
yep - hey, I have another suggestion, for what its worth -
the verb "to be" is weak weak weak in your hook line. How bout kill? "Please don’t [kill] my suicide girl"
the verb "to be" is weak weak weak in your hook line. How bout kill? "Please don’t [kill] my suicide girl"
on The painted Chair by Sunshine Conkey
17 Apr 2004, 7:51 PM
cute. Yeah, not crazy about the title either, whether you like being sat on or not.
on I Can Write A Wrong, But I Can't Right A Poem by horus8
17 Apr 2004, 10:45 AM
cool title, engaging read.
Was this a rewrite?
Was this a rewrite?
on Summers Breath on my neck by unouluvme
17 Apr 2004, 9:22 AM
would be cool if u made this from the perspective of a small rodent.
on Suicide Girl by wilco
17 Apr 2004, 9:18 AM
i really think you could improve the broken car simile - other than that, really well done.
replying on One or the Same by Enkidu
17 Apr 2004, 4:27 AM
is this a "yes", or a "I'm not playing anymore"?
replying on Diptych by coffeespoons
16 Apr 2004, 10:40 AM
I liked it too (still do) - thought maybe there was another way to skin the cat that I dinna know about.
replying on One or the Same by Enkidu
16 Apr 2004, 8:47 AM
Macfan, goob.
on Metaphorically Challenged by Enkidu
16 Apr 2004, 6:34 AM
yep - thats a goodun.
But I wonder at the thoughts in your brain that would make tiny children sick.
But I wonder at the thoughts in your brain that would make tiny children sick.
replying on Whose God? by elizabethann
16 Apr 2004, 6:31 AM
"An 18th level cleric with Invisibility, the Helmet of True Seeing, and the Amulet of Transubstantiation. "
This killed me such that a passer-by poked their head in my office and asked if I was okay. Good stuff, man - good stuff.
This killed me such that a passer-by poked their head in my office and asked if I was okay. Good stuff, man - good stuff.
replying on Dear M Foucault, or, How I knew our relationship was doomed by zodiac
15 Apr 2004, 6:44 AM
you heard it here first, folks.
btw, there's no words per line limitation in a sestina - maybe in a septina there is....
btw, there's no words per line limitation in a sestina - maybe in a septina there is....
replying on Dear M Foucault, or, How I knew our relationship was doomed by zodiac
15 Apr 2004, 6:41 AM
take each line and make it the starting line of new stanza.
Its a lot of frickin work and you'll have to fudge the end a bit; prolly not worth it, and besides with all the repetition in this as it is (works fine here) would look like ass after the sestina gets done with it.
Its a lot of frickin work and you'll have to fudge the end a bit; prolly not worth it, and besides with all the repetition in this as it is (works fine here) would look like ass after the sestina gets done with it.
replying on Dear M Foucault, or, How I knew our relationship was doomed by zodiac
15 Apr 2004, 6:30 AM
you could glosa this and end up with a sestina - you might change the last or fourth lines so you don't have "dear" twice though.
on forgetful dyke by elizabethann
15 Apr 2004, 6:18 AM
cute - enjoyable vignette.
replying on Diptych by coffeespoons
14 Apr 2004, 8:54 PM
what are the two poems? the couplets being one and the septets being the other?
I usually do them as two side by side panels (but that is tough to do here):
http://www.nanoranch.com/shuushin/March%
I usually do them as two side by side panels (but that is tough to do here):
http://www.nanoranch.com/shuushin/March%
on Diptych by coffeespoons
14 Apr 2004, 8:23 PM
Help me understand why you consider this a Diptych.
Please, I'm not being sarcastic.
Please, I'm not being sarcastic.