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stranger (Free verse) by francis nor capule
the first time i saw her was at a waiting shade in the central business district of the city where i worked all eyes on her, maybe she was enjoying it too a creature that God made, for ones heart to soar i saw her again , at the same shade with some friends, smiling all their cares away possibly talking bout where to go that night and my heart was really really glad to see her one more time the third time i saw her, she was with someone else he holding her hand, so proud and she gently resting her head on his shoulders how cruel the fates could be how i wish i could go back to the very first time i saw her and i have torn down the window of the bus i was in so that i might have at least tried... how i wish i was able to tear down the bus window that very first time, my mind full of what if questions my heart empty, frozen like winter but i have to take in everything and just leave... the driver calls my stop and it takes forever for me to get to my office my heart full of regret to wait, for an eternity perhaps?

Up the ladder: love comes but once
Down the ladder: Snow Sucks

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.25
Weighted score: 5.029801
Overall Rank: 7329
Posted: April 19, 2004 4:06 AM PDT; Last modified: May 20, 2004 8:42 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] zodiac @ 67.240.155.138 | 19-Apr-04/7:12 AM | Reply
Hi. You have no idea how a semicolon works, do you?
[n/a] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.52 > zodiac | 19-Apr-04/8:21 AM | Reply
Oooo, oooo! Let me tell him!! Can I, Can I???
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > zodiac | 19-Apr-04/10:10 AM | Reply
Perhaps he has been playing Nethack, and decided to surround the protagonist with eels.
[7] edpeterson @ 68.79.28.143 | 19-Apr-04/7:19 AM | Reply
i think this COULD be good, but the punctuation is horribly distracting, as is the poor grammar.
[n/a] francis nor capule @ 210.23.227.51 > edpeterson | 19-Apr-04/7:30 AM | Reply
OMG... i totally missed that. haven't drunk enough coffee... sorry
[n/a] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.52 > francis nor capule | 19-Apr-04/8:22 AM | Reply
need more roughage - it will help with your colons.
[n/a] francis nor capule @ 210.23.227.51 > Shuushin | 19-Apr-04/9:58 AM | Reply
i fell off my seat
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 19-Apr-04/5:14 PM | Reply
"really really glad"

is you makin' fun of poetry?? are you mocking me? HUH PRETTY-BOY - are you mockin ME??
[n/a] francis nor capule @ 210.23.227.51 > Shuushin | 20-Apr-04/5:52 AM | Reply
n-n-n-o boss, i just thought poetry was for everyone... even for people who hadn't had enough coffee. no offense meant.
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