poemranker ::stranger by francis nor capule

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Free verse № 97555

stranger

Member since 2004 · Posted 19 Apr 2004 · Edited 20 May 2004 · 9 comments

the first time i saw her was at a waiting shade in the central business district of the city where i worked all eyes on her, maybe she was enjoying it too a creature that God made, for ones heart to soar i saw her again , at the same shade with some friends, smiling all their cares away possibly talking bout where to go that night and my heart was really really glad to see her one more time the third time i saw her, she was with someone else he holding her hand, so proud and she gently resting her head on his shoulders how cruel the fates could be how i wish i could go back to the very first time i saw her and i have torn down the window of the bus i was in so that i might have at least tried... how i wish i was able to tear down the bus window that very first time, my mind full of what if questions my heart empty, frozen like winter but i have to take in everything and just leave... the driver calls my stop and it takes forever for me to get to my office my heart full of regret to wait, for an eternity perhaps?

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9 comments

[n/a] zodiac 19-Apr-04/7:12 AM Reply
Hi. You have no idea how a semicolon works, do you?
[n/a] Shuushin › zodiac 19-Apr-04/8:21 AM Reply
Oooo, oooo! Let me tell him!! Can I, Can I???
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › zodiac 19-Apr-04/10:10 AM Reply
Perhaps he has been playing Nethack, and decided to surround the protagonist with eels.
[7] edpeterson 19-Apr-04/7:19 AM Reply
i think this COULD be good, but the punctuation is horribly distracting, as is the poor grammar.
[n/a] francis nor capule › edpeterson 19-Apr-04/7:30 AM Reply
OMG... i totally missed that. haven't drunk enough coffee... sorry
[n/a] Shuushin › francis nor capule 19-Apr-04/8:22 AM Reply
need more roughage - it will help with your colons.
[n/a] francis nor capule › Shuushin 19-Apr-04/9:58 AM Reply
i fell off my seat
[n/a] Shuushin 19-Apr-04/5:14 PM Reply
"really really glad"

is you makin' fun of poetry?? are you mocking me? HUH PRETTY-BOY - are you mockin ME??
[n/a] francis nor capule › Shuushin 20-Apr-04/5:52 AM Reply
n-n-n-o boss, i just thought poetry was for everyone... even for people who hadn't had enough coffee. no offense meant.