poemranker ::Diptych by coffeespoons

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 97063

Diptych

Member since 2004 · Posted 14 Apr 2004 · 6 comments

Je t’aime. I love the idea of you. The rain poured softly out, brushing against the windowpane. Out on the wet grass she quietly answered, silk skirt clinging, drops rolling down the folds. The summer’s end stalked insects through the damp leaves. I know you asleep, your hair tangled careless on the pillow. Alone with the lavender sky, examining the icy stars, each complication melting on the sill. Her cold hands were content, waiting for nothing. Outside everything was watching the snow. Sunday morning coffee, we awaken to the spoons and sugar cubes. Growing into the green light, braiding the willows together, the winter-stilled brook beside her rushed in shouting to carry off broken twigs. Painted toes splashed in the puddles. The cool slate sidewalk Held on to her footprints when she passed. Óu êtes-vous, amour? Our circle is not yet complete.

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mean 7.00 weighted 5.24 rank 4059 views 146 View voting details →

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6 comments

[n/a] Shuushin 14-Apr-04/8:23 PM Reply
Help me understand why you consider this a Diptych.

Please, I'm not being sarcastic.
[n/a] coffeespoons 14-Apr-04/8:28 PM Reply
Oh. Diptych as it was two poems put together, and thought and action contrasted, in some ways. But mostly for the separate narratives...
[n/a] Shuushin › coffeespoons 14-Apr-04/8:54 PM Reply
what are the two poems? the couplets being one and the septets being the other?

I usually do them as two side by side panels (but that is tough to do here):

http://www.nanoranch.com/shuushin/March%202004/The%20truth%20lies%20within.htm
[10] edpeterson 16-Apr-04/8:55 AM Reply
I don't care what category you put it in. I think it is great. I just love it.
[n/a] Shuushin › edpeterson 16-Apr-04/10:40 AM Reply
I liked it too (still do) - thought maybe there was another way to skin the cat that I dinna know about.
[8] oftherealm 16-Apr-04/3:40 PM Reply
so lovely to read. i give it an eight.