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Diptych (Free verse) by coffeespoons
Je t’aime. I love the idea of you. The rain poured softly out, brushing against the windowpane. Out on the wet grass she quietly answered, silk skirt clinging, drops rolling down the folds. The summer’s end stalked insects through the damp leaves. I know you asleep, your hair tangled careless on the pillow. Alone with the lavender sky, examining the icy stars, each complication melting on the sill. Her cold hands were content, waiting for nothing. Outside everything was watching the snow. Sunday morning coffee, we awaken to the spoons and sugar cubes. Growing into the green light, braiding the willows together, the winter-stilled brook beside her rushed in shouting to carry off broken twigs. Painted toes splashed in the puddles. The cool slate sidewalk Held on to her footprints when she passed. Óu êtes-vous, amour? Our circle is not yet complete.

Up the ladder: Simon's Legacy (draft)
Down the ladder: What am I doing?

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.2384057
Overall Rank: 4080
Posted: April 14, 2004 7:51 PM PDT; Last modified: April 14, 2004 7:51 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 14-Apr-04/8:23 PM | Reply
Help me understand why you consider this a Diptych.

Please, I'm not being sarcastic.
[n/a] coffeespoons @ 66.251.24.170 | 14-Apr-04/8:28 PM | Reply
Oh. Diptych as it was two poems put together, and thought and action contrasted, in some ways. But mostly for the separate narratives...
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > coffeespoons | 14-Apr-04/8:54 PM | Reply
what are the two poems? the couplets being one and the septets being the other?

I usually do them as two side by side panels (but that is tough to do here):

http://www.nanoranch.com/shuushin/March%202004/The%20truth%20lies%20within.htm
[10] edpeterson @ 68.79.22.21 | 16-Apr-04/8:55 AM | Reply
I don't care what category you put it in. I think it is great. I just love it.
[n/a] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.52 > edpeterson | 16-Apr-04/10:40 AM | Reply
I liked it too (still do) - thought maybe there was another way to skin the cat that I dinna know about.
[8] oftherealm @ 4.138.24.127 | 16-Apr-04/3:40 PM | Reply
so lovely to read. i give it an eight.
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