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The Lonesome Loser (Free verse) by Dovina He sips his coffee,
writes a line,
remembers the struggle,
apprehends why.
Heâs read to dull ears,
seen eyes turn away,
from his poems about nothing;
even he has misgiving.
Ten years since an editorâs thank-you note;
still he sips and still writes,
skipping slick certitudes,
untangling knots.
He writes what he knows,
and he knows a lot,
but they donât know,
and they donât care.
He lifts his pen
leans back and smilesâ
an insiderâs trust:
The right eyes will see.
He scans the walls
for someone who might,
bends forward againâ
maybe tonight.
Up the ladder:
The Obelisk
Down the ladder:
misplaced
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Posted: July 8, 2006 8:40 PM PDT; Last modified: July 8, 2006 8:40 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.2384057 Overall Rank: 4062 Comments:
He definitely deserves to be called a loser.
Yes, this seems to be the majority opinion of a writer who just canât get any attention. I think it depends on how âloserâ should be defined, and whether his ten years or more of daily writing, and his compulsion to write mean something beyond the majority view. Also, if he is writing what he âknowsâ to be true and avoiding slick certitudes, should this raise his status, at least in some perceiving eyes?
"He scans the walls
for someone who might, bends forward againâ maybe tonight." -Haha, does this mean he's gay? Just Kiddin'. It's really good actually. You feel sympathetic and understand the loser's possition when you read the poem but also you still feel like he's a loser. Very nice sketch of a complex personality.
I think there is something true and uncomplicated about writing for no reason. He seems to have learned that honor or recognition are simply not worth the trouble. At least thatâs my take on his contented smile as he leans back in his chair. And besides a gay man without a rubber back cannot lean foreword that far.
It is so pathetic to see that you managed to get only three votes over a period of three days.... Are we the only ones who log onto PR? I wish there was something we could do about it.
Please stop writing about me.
Then stop being so darned irresistable.
Maybe someone would start caring if you changed your soddy attitude. I've seen comments that you've left on others' poems, and they were RUDE to put it mildy. My previous comments were left to teach you a lesson. It's not nice when you put effort into writing something, only to have someone else come tell you how unoriginal it is and how bad it is, when in fact this person is a far better writer than you ever have hope of being. For the record, she's been published more than just a few times ... have you ??? Learn your lesson in manners, child. Grow up and start being NICE to others for a change; would it kill you?????
Perhaps you could sum it up with âsupercilious.â Just a thought.
Why, was that too much for you to understand in one reading?
Dovina
this user called friend has been stalking certain people atoning comments they didnt like on their own work. In some kitchen, somewhere in the world their is a bunny simmering and possibly a zit ridden teen sticking pins in us lol.
That would explain the discomfort in my bow'ls. Phew, that's a clarifier all right - up till now I'd put it down to laughing too hard.
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'Skipping slick certitudes'