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Old River Sherbourne (Free verse) by Caducus
Damned to breasts of brooks limbs of the sherbourne crawl struggling over stones, as tombs of tyres send her westward to oil slaughter from the M6 bowel. A shoal of buoyed eyes Watch her turn to foam A stench of her rises Through fragrant crow foot Dancing on her grave. Canute defiance she struggles on Past sandy lane to spon with spon Until the spring when she is gone Leaving us bluebells to walk upon.

Up the ladder: we can't walk forever
Down the ladder: Drowning

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.2384057
Overall Rank: 4050
Posted: April 6, 2006 4:49 AM PDT; Last modified: May 17, 2006 1:21 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] Caducus @ 86.141.200.191 | 6-Apr-06/4:49 AM | Reply
Spon is an old word i think from saxon times which means to meet, or to spon.
[8] Ranger @ 86.140.71.26 | 6-Apr-06/8:35 AM | Reply
Great first line, like the play on 'damned'. The whole thing gives me a good impression of the muddy flats. You could possibly play on the aged femininity a little more, wrinkles in the mud and hair etc.
Great description though.
[8] Dovina @ 70.38.78.229 | 6-Apr-06/12:08 PM | Reply
Some people argue that if you crossbreed nature poetry with political poetry, you spawn and breed a mutant - environmental poetry. But most of this rings true, and avoids the preachiness of most environmental attempts.
[8] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.44 | 7-Apr-06/10:01 AM | Reply
M6 bowel? Enlighten me. And spon with spon ? Not comfortable with that.

The rest is lovely... and a good, lively description.
[8] Ranger @ 81.156.73.86 > amanda_dcosta | 7-Apr-06/12:40 PM | Reply
M6 = motorway
[7] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 | 12-Apr-06/5:56 AM | Reply
Bluebells flower in Spring you dick.

[n/a] Caducus @ 86.143.108.103 > Stephen Robins | 13-May-06/3:30 AM | Reply
I love it when you get helpful AND nasty - thanks for the help and the laugh.
[8] richa @ 85.210.105.112 | 17-May-06/3:10 AM | Reply
I believe Canute was demonstrating the limits of kingly power to his subjects.
[8] richa @ 85.210.105.112 | 17-May-06/3:12 AM | Reply
Like most of it. Slaughter, tombs and grave are a bit overwrought though.
[n/a] Caducus @ 86.143.108.103 > richa | 17-May-06/7:16 AM | Reply
I think you're right and as I'm supposed to be writing a book on coventry i think it needs sorting so thanks.
[9] ALChemy @ 71.75.176.68 | 17-May-06/7:33 AM | Reply
Nice image.
[9] deleted user @ 64.140.228.94 | 20-May-06/2:51 PM | Reply
Great imagery in this--as there is in most of your work.
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