poemranker ::Old River Sherbourne by Caducus

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Free verse № 141907

Old River Sherbourne

Member since 2002 · Posted 6 Apr 2006 · Edited 17 May 2006 · 12 comments

Damned to breasts of brooks limbs of the sherbourne crawl struggling over stones, as tombs of tyres send her westward to oil slaughter from the M6 bowel. A shoal of buoyed eyes Watch her turn to foam A stench of her rises Through fragrant crow foot Dancing on her grave. Canute defiance she struggles on Past sandy lane to spon with spon Until the spring when she is gone Leaving us bluebells to walk upon.

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12 comments

[n/a] Caducus 6-Apr-06/4:49 AM Reply
Spon is an old word i think from saxon times which means to meet, or to spon.
[8] Ranger 6-Apr-06/8:35 AM Reply
Great first line, like the play on 'damned'. The whole thing gives me a good impression of the muddy flats. You could possibly play on the aged femininity a little more, wrinkles in the mud and hair etc.
Great description though.
[8] Dovina 6-Apr-06/12:08 PM Reply
Some people argue that if you crossbreed nature poetry with political poetry, you spawn and breed a mutant - environmental poetry. But most of this rings true, and avoids the preachiness of most environmental attempts.
[8] amanda_dcosta 7-Apr-06/10:01 AM Reply
M6 bowel? Enlighten me. And spon with spon ? Not comfortable with that.

The rest is lovely... and a good, lively description.
[8] Ranger › amanda_dcosta 7-Apr-06/12:40 PM Reply
M6 = motorway
[7] Stephen Robins 12-Apr-06/5:56 AM Reply
Bluebells flower in Spring you dick.

[n/a] Caducus › Stephen Robins 13-May-06/3:30 AM Reply
I love it when you get helpful AND nasty - thanks for the help and the laugh.
[8] richa 17-May-06/3:10 AM Reply
I believe Canute was demonstrating the limits of kingly power to his subjects.
[8] richa 17-May-06/3:12 AM Reply
Like most of it. Slaughter, tombs and grave are a bit overwrought though.
[n/a] Caducus › richa 17-May-06/7:16 AM Reply
I think you're right and as I'm supposed to be writing a book on coventry i think it needs sorting so thanks.
[9] ALChemy 17-May-06/7:33 AM Reply
Nice image.
[9] deleted user 20-May-06/2:51 PM Reply
Great imagery in this--as there is in most of your work.