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Grandma in love (Free verse) by Caducus
On grass silvered by dew I fell by your violets to pray, Everything old was shining in gold And you were anew As you soared to the sky in gray. From the urn I dusted my lips, Tasting you for one last time Forced to learn from all of this That you are no longer mine. Our love became wrinkled from happiness. Is this why I falter not to grief ? Maybe I prefer sadness When I sleep alone in our bed, Circled into an old mottled shape Like your unlaid wreath.

Down the ladder: Absurdly Hairy Quendo

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.2384057
Overall Rank: 4049
Posted: May 17, 2004 10:56 AM PDT; Last modified: October 26, 2004 11:26 AM PDT
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Comments:
[6] titan69 @ 62.31.23.123 | 17-May-04/1:14 PM | Reply
you have a great way with words!
[10] edpeterson @ 68.79.58.106 | 26-Oct-04/11:36 AM | Reply
a wicked and inspired jug solo
[10] edpeterson @ 68.79.58.106 | 26-Oct-04/11:38 AM | Reply
i would suggest "new" in place of "anew"
also, "fall" in place of "falter"

a 10 anyway
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.154.19.210 | 26-Oct-04/11:41 AM | Reply
Intensely lewd, particularly the bit where you scoff your grandmother's remains.
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