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Jesus Rises from the Grove (Free verse) by wilco
Jesus moved to town today. He set up shop in an abandoned brothel. Handing out flyers to passers-by, while his brother doled out the rules. He joined the local chamber of commerce. He paid his taxes like all the rest. Giving back to the community, and going to the little league games. He says that he used to live in Florida. He worked for cheap in an orange grove. Under the glaring Southern sun he labored, until the day he made it out alive. He tells a crazy story about a magic carpet. He says it whisked him away from hell. Soaring high above the citrus trees, he watched in wonder as they disappeared. This dark skinned man surely is insane. There are no magic carpets in Florida. They took him away in the padded wagon, and he went calmly and without a fuss. His brother softly smiled without a word. He showed me the headline from one year ago. "Body of cuban man found today, crushed beneath an orange tree"

Up the ladder: Linger on
Down the ladder: Juno's Peacock

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.4545455
Weighted score: 6.2272725
Overall Rank: 949
Posted: April 9, 2004 9:49 PM PDT; Last modified: April 9, 2004 9:49 PM PDT
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Comments:
[10] daveslady @ 140.211.124.224 | 9-Apr-04/9:55 PM | Reply
very visual, liked the twist at the end
[n/a] wilco @ 24.176.102.131 > daveslady | 9-Apr-04/9:58 PM | Reply
It's being made into a feature film starring Antonio Banderas and George Lopez.
[8] Joe-joe @ 68.194.47.34 | 10-Apr-04/4:24 AM | Reply
Jesus, liar or lunatic... a very old very played out story. Jesus the ficticious product of a band of religious fanatics seeking to break away from classic Jewish tradition.....a theory posed by securalists more than 400 years ago. Nothing original here just the usual obsession with Our Lord and Savior by those who claim to be non-believers...interesting, very interesting.
[8] Joe-joe @ 68.194.47.34 > Joe-joe | 10-Apr-04/6:44 AM | Reply
Oh yeah...I give it an -8-. Nicely crafted..although the concept is not original, the story is cute and well told.
[9] deleted user @ 68.66.196.168 | 10-Apr-04/9:57 AM | Reply
I can read this as a slur on Christianity, or I can read it as another man's story, who happens to be named Jesus, or I can read it as an embodyment of who Jesus was in a present-day man, which is the way I like to read it. Nice.
[8] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 11-Apr-04/9:04 AM | Reply
Good storytelling.
[8] ggawrysi @ 147.9.151.22 | 12-Apr-04/1:12 PM | Reply
i don't have any major criticisms or anything that i loved. it entertained me, which is really all that i ask from a poem.
[7] Edna Sweetlove @ 85.210.13.138 | 21-Jun-06/2:58 AM | Reply
I rather liked this and would have liked it more with a capital C for Cuban.
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