I like what you're after here, DS. I think you could say it better. Consider shortening the poem, not locking into metre, then losing it. Stay with a freeform which allows you to creatively toss in the off-metre phrase and make it ring like bells.

Let's not forget Big Matriarchy. I like this poem, particularly for the environmental and socio-political awareness it engenders.

I like this, A. I think it very colourfully paints a vibrant feeling and place; it does not lead me into beigeness and empty niceties. The crazy crown is scary, and who is Dicky bow, anyhow? What sport were your referring to with the score, there. Rugby?

Your voice has created an insistent presence on this site with this poem, x311. The poem makes me wonder about the past of the protagonist/antagonist. I could see this as a lead in, in italics, to a short story that starts...18 months ago....in a little cafe in Santa Fe....

Once again, H8 missed the memo regarding quality and quantity. Rein yourself in, chisel, hone, and shake some spears into your lines.

Have mercy on us, Ming. Methinks thine titles exceed thine poemes in interestingnecessity.

Yes

Refreshingly heartfelt for this site. Narudasian? Does remind me of Pablo. Another poem that could work as a song; Shawn Colvin could do it well.

I'm with Anagram; hang in there, D.O. Tomorrow you may meet someone who'll help you to see clear to a different perspective on your life a then we'll all be rating your odes to a butterfly, or some such.

Creative use of the Limerick form. Some may say they were caught in a current and carried, but, reflecting on't, might later admit to plying those waters with all sails out.

Dang me, I'm just a foundering foole for this sort of poetry. If you just reeled this one off, Zzin, I'm gonna scream in jealous enviousity. Methinks you read...like, alot. Your capitalizing makes me wonder if you've hidden one more layer of riddle, or something.

Dylm, I don't like your bilious tripe, nor that of DA, H8, or any of the other roach spray sniffers on this site. Shove off and good riddance to yas.

You have some interesting ideas, try pruning this by about a fourth and honing the syllables and catch a few internal rhymes. Might make your perspective that much clearer.

Hang on, there, Stbr and Mphst, I'm nice, too. Just ask PAKI. The poem could use some tweaking.

My, are you getting all persnickety lately, Zzin. Let's give those new to wordsmithery a chance to separate wheat from chaff. DDW, edit and prune your writing a little more, then submit it.

Alright; you've got relevant ideas, perspective. However, considering some of the things I've read on this site, I sincerely hope they don't come alive 'away into the words and deeds of others.' Submit more, Lenore.

I give you phlegm hockers shite on this site; but, this I like. It falls loosely into the category of social commentary.

Christof, you're gonna have to get in line with the rest of us who've had our fancies tickled by Zzin's wordsmithery. Other than the rare typo, how can I possibly criticize her poetry? I leave that to babbit11 and others at that level (methinks the two of them are really well known poets who are just teasing the rest of us on this site).

Hot damn, Dave, socio-political commentary crackling like a Taser. Edit a little more before posting. 'Wild dancing shadows' is strong; 'carefully packaged...' is confusing. The last lines are memorable.

I'd prefer -=No Angel=-. Submit something worth a damn and stop indulging your self-imagined refulgence. Have you tried Galoise cigarettes? They're delicious; have 5 packs, today.