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Questions to the Unknown (Free verse) by Mephisto
Death is only the beginning This is what I hear From demons and angels around me I wake Only to see it wasn???t A dream, this is real I then look down on the being It was once me, now its lifeless Dead Never to feel, taste, or smell anything Ever again Then the image passes And I see into the minds Of all beings, it didn???t seem possible But I could Seeing into everyone Forming a complete picture of insanity and confusion Nothing was in many of these minds And the confusion intensifies As I see this, the picture fades into the abyss Then I see the opposite The minds that have meaning The minds that ponder on the many troubles of life Few of this kind are seen But is it easier for these people Who have something to hold onto Maybe humans need this something to hold onto The walls that enclose each persons life Do these walls have to be filled? The walls that blind people And only let them see their own views

Up the ladder: Am I forgiven

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
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.. 20
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.. 10
.. 01
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.4
Weighted score: 4.809275
Overall Rank: 10995
Posted: August 22, 2002 2:14 PM PDT; Last modified: August 22, 2002 2:14 PM PDT
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Comments:
[6] Frass @ 151.200.247.130 | 22-Aug-02/5:28 PM | Reply
You have some interesting ideas, try pruning this by about a fourth and honing the syllables and catch a few internal rhymes. Might make your perspective that much clearer.
[n/a] god'swife @ 209.178.178.101 | 22-Aug-02/5:58 PM | Reply
Keep trying, your soul is headed down the path of happiness. Read some Buddha parables if you haven't already. I bet your a fine young man. But I still have to give your poem a 3/10. I've got grown up appetites
[3] razorgrin @ 142.166.105.133 | 23-Aug-02/6:06 AM | Reply
Are you still in high school? Do you wear too much eyeliner? If not, then I'm fresh out of explanations for your work.
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