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Rainbow Tears (Free verse) by talking_goldfish Tears
Drop
Upon a dusted cheek,
Light
Falls
To shine upon the rain,
The spectrum of light, infesting the land
Remains but a spot, 'til the moment arrives,
For loss, for sorrow, for rainbows to form
And now, tomorrow, can itself be borne,
Try
Drop
Your pain forever more,
Night
Falls
To lose you in yourself,
The stars are a-shining, the angels awake
And the rain's still a-falling, on the grass that's no greener,
But still you must see, the rainbow exists
For if not then we, will yesterday miss,
Tears
Drop
To save you from the pain,
Light
Falls
For the rainbow, to be seen.
Up the ladder:
aphelion
Down the ladder:
Being H.U.M.A.N.
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.0
Posted: August 22, 2002 2:16 PM PDT; Last modified: August 22, 2002 2:36 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.7615943 Overall Rank: 11565 Comments:
[n/a]
Mephisto @ 63.11.140.32
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22-Aug-02/2:21 PM
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Reply
well, i think this is a friggin harsh site, so im like the only person thats nice, or at least i havent met ne others, but i liked this poem, it was good, but there was an exessive use of commas that i think should be attended to
hey, i'm nice!! well thanx :D but ok, the comma thing.. ya, it's, a, major, prob, of, mine, i, think, i, shud've, taken, english, maybe, i, just, pause, 2, much!!
Don't let anyone tell you this is a good poem. It is not a good poem. It is a bad, bad poem.
Hang on, there, Stbr and Mphst, I'm nice, too. Just ask PAKI. The poem could use some tweaking.
I say nice things about poems that aren't crap. When they are crap, I say so. This is a bad poem. Really bad.
regardless of what anyone else thinks this is how it is staying, in its present state, because i like it, enough said.
K big guy, but the try in "Try
Drop Your pain forever more, Night Falls To lose you in yourself," Is that supposed to tears? -4-
No it is supposed to be try, but thanx :)
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