Creative use of the Limerick form. Some may say they were caught in a current and carried, but, reflecting on't, might later admit to plying those waters with all sails out.
This made me laugh when i read it the first time. I can't figure out why. I think it's fine as is. The past tense verbs work well together. And the self awareness at the end, is like guilt after doing the deed. Moments pleasure vs. lifetime of regret.
dammit! someone's been playing with my 'f' key. i have to bang it to get it to print. so, _ill the eff's in yerselves, fer tonight, as they seem to be evaporating...
Hmmm. I was always taught that if you are too close to it, save it for later to avoid the dramatic sentiment. But this, writer of triangle poems, is interesting. I agree with GW. I laughed a bit on first reading. But I think it was the general rhyme scheme. I think somewhere in our head we are programmed to think limericks as being funny. The only thing that confused me on the first couple of reads is the land images mixing with water images, but that could be questioning if this is something grounded or skirting. Who knows? Reading too much into it, I suppose.
p&k, i usually do leave quiet those things i am close too. i think this one will stay, and the other one, without metaphos, as mrs g nailed it, will find it's way back into the annals of 'things i thought once but don't want to ever see again, or else i'd have to admit to...' you know the file i mean? any way, it wouldn't be the first poem to appear for a limited engagement, and then disappear into the dark from whence it came...
Well, I think this stays funny after a couple of readings - it's a kind of gallows humour, becuase you know why it feels all wrong and yet it feels all right. I know the feeling. It often gives me cause to laugh on a long and lonely night. Oh ha ha ha.
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