Re: Stayed Too Long by poetryman	8-Nov-04/9:04 PM
a turtle strokes its way through a puddle of creamed corn. she turns coldly, glaring beneath her shades, smoke gushing from her face. she speaks. we see her missing teeth. A force beyond my control pushes at the seams in my denim trousers.
Re: Just Shut Up! Everyone Just Shut Up! by MacFrantic	8-Nov-04/3:18 PM
I love drunken diatribes. ONly reason to go, really. I have to give this a 10, just for "meatballism"
Re: keep on digging by nentwined	8-Nov-04/3:15 PM
I would cut the "they" from the second line, making the statement imperative. Did i just read "a list of diggables" ? Do my eyes deceive me? I dig it. (sorry)
Re: a comment on Grandma's Prayer/Lord Reply by jroday	6-Nov-04/10:18 AM
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ingnorance and consciencious stupidity" EXACTLY!!!!
Re: a comment on Grandma's Prayer/Lord Reply by jroday	6-Nov-04/10:16 AM
I didn't say he misquoted. I said the source he quoted altered the original version to provisionally accomodate those who would have been put off by "blessed are the poor"
Re: a comment on Grandma's Prayer/Lord Reply by jroday	6-Nov-04/10:13 AM
what DOES get one into heaven?
Re: a comment on Grandma's Prayer/Lord Reply by jroday	6-Nov-04/10:11 AM
don't be stupid
Re: tomorrow is another day by hendrimike	6-Nov-04/9:09 AM
dude, i wish these went to 11!
Re: Sappy Ending by Enkidu	6-Nov-04/9:06 AM
why would he have to rape her, when she was presumably throwing herself at him? i think "sodomized" the princess would be better
Re: One Day I Will be Made of Electric Swords that Will Explode by T. Jonathron Remp	6-Nov-04/9:02 AM
good show.
Re: Grandma's Prayer/Lord Reply by jroday	6-Nov-04/8:55 AM
blessed are the poor...period. that is the original ....you have Blessed are the poor in spirit,which is what the church changed it to so as not to put off, or otherwise disturb, the people filling up the collection basket. Save it for church...
Re: Intersection by INTRANSIT	6-Nov-04/6:05 AM
I always love birds in poetry. The madness they suggest, the wings, the beaks, the smears they leave on your pole. bullshit aside, I really loved the last stanza, brake the stare is a bit cutesy, but doesn't really detract, for me anyway...and i think grinding line could be clearer or simpler or something but am without suggestions. i don't like atop in the first. why not just on. in the second, probes my poll....probes is a suggests something more intrusive than what is actuall going on, though that is not really a problem if that is what you mean...the bird is intruding, perhaps? Keep your pole to yourself. the third is nice with the repetition, but "friend" seems... i don't know. if it were my poem, i would let the reader decide for him or herself whether the bird was friend, foe or other.
Re: Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone	5-Nov-04/5:06 PM
The lawn christ I did beard with a few gems that were browne as poo poo They shone like his eyes He, to no ones surprise, looked and smelled like a rich migrant jew
Re: ishte ishta by IcHronit	5-Nov-04/9:14 AM
you should try to work some AIDS into the poem. That would really give that extry cutting edge.
Re: Poemranker I Couldn't stay Away by Tara57	5-Nov-04/5:09 AM
i can hear the crickets chirping. listen. can you hear it too?
Re: a comment on AIDS in a Glass by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	4-Nov-04/3:18 PM
YOu make do with a burger king napkin. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Re: The Mushrooms' Song by zodiac	4-Nov-04/9:30 AM
I think the last line would work better in the absence of commas. I also think this is great. Mushrooms, reared in so much shit and mulch, waiting and enduring, stoic almost. Pod-monsters is a highlight
Re: Perfect Time of Year by wilco	3-Nov-04/8:13 PM
why not "leaves fall" and "air turns"?
Re: My Poison ( Vodka ) by Brittanyy	3-Nov-04/9:05 AM
so, you are saying, "now you copulate in the flame" ?
Re: Going Blind by Sasha	1-Nov-04/12:38 PM
"are you with me Dr. Poo, are you really just the shadow of the man that I once knew?"