Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The Mushrooms' Song (Lyric) by zodiac
We waited. That mangy cat slouched past, turned circles on us - shat in the grass where we waited, rubbing hunched shoulders - were buried- folk, pod-monsters, kids on streetcorners. We were beyond caring, even then, having half forgotten why we still waited, who always waited a summer, a rainfall, a cat to turn it. Leaves rotten in a tree shadow, worth patience. But the cat - he made it almost to the treeline before the soil opened, irritably, and swallowed him whole.

Up the ladder: Green things
Down the ladder: Beslan

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 50
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 9.428572
Weighted score: 6.191026
Overall Rank: 998
Posted: November 4, 2004 5:01 AM PST; Last modified: November 4, 2004 5:05 AM PST
View voting details
The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:

edpeterson

Comments:
[10] edpeterson @ 68.79.60.123 | 4-Nov-04/9:30 AM | Reply
I think the last line would work better in the absence of commas.

I also think this is great. Mushrooms, reared in so much shit and mulch, waiting and enduring, stoic almost.

Pod-monsters is a highlight
[9] IcHronit @ 168.28.203.194 | 4-Nov-04/2:37 PM | Reply
good write
[10] edpeterson @ 68.79.203.220 | 22-Feb-05/7:55 PM | Reply
Revisiting this, I have to say I think it is brilliant. That last stanza is quite surprising and reveals a lot..,the way the cat is sucked in, in a comparatively short instant...the mushrooms growing at a completetly negligible pace. And it feels so dank.

Anyway, I love it.
350 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001