poemranker ::Angel by abecedarian

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Free verse № 59597

Angel

by abecedarian

Member since 2002 · Posted 6 Aug 2003 · 16 comments

a completely dark infinity interrupted by a brilliant light an angel with a face so pure and beautiful that I could not see it white glowing skin and thin fragile limbs impossibly strong as she grabbed my hand and I followed The darkness sensed a gap the place where her glowing legs could not meet and prevent the darkness from entering and violating in fear she whirled to face me wings streaming a circle behind her and pulled me close so that I could keep the darkness out

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mean 6.25 weighted 6.19 rank 1000 views 257 View voting details →

20 votes so far. Yours would make 21.20 votes so far

16 comments

[6] cleverdevice 6-Aug-03/1:45 PM Reply
Bit vague, and lack of capital letters marks it down, some nice imagery though. -6-
[0] Shardik 6-Aug-03/4:32 PM Reply
Due to my condition. I must request you stop with this nonsense about cherubian intervention immediately.
[8] http://mulberryfairy › Shardik 6-Aug-03/5:14 PM Reply
Shardik, I do believe that zero was undeserved, if you reread, you will see that Abe C.'s narrator actually intervened on behalf of the alien angel.
[n/a] abecedarian › http://mulberryfairy 6-Aug-03/5:49 PM Reply
s'okay mulberry, y'know... his condition and all
[10] horus8 › http://mulberryfairy 6-Aug-03/7:24 PM Reply
Sorry, no deal. Angels are ugly asexual insect aliens. And when darkness senses the gap? Is when I go to gap and Wynona ryder a horse faced potato bug.
[8] http://mulberryfairy › horus8 6-Aug-03/8:07 PM Reply
Unfortunately, I got the same transparent alien/praying mantis impression of this angel.
[n/a] abecedarian › http://mulberryfairy 7-Aug-03/12:17 AM Reply
I'm amazed at the strength of polarity here. Is your (mulberry and horus/s/..) distaste for angels purely the way I've presented angels, is it a reaction to their general overuse in unskilled 'poetry', or is it a defiance to their religious connection, or is it a genuine wierding?
[8] http://mulberryfairy › abecedarian 7-Aug-03/5:28 PM Reply
It is definitely the way you've presented this angel, with her fragile limbs and her glowing skin, that is creepy. If I did a word association with "angel" I would probably say "fat baby", because some toilet paper commercial would come to mind.
[8] http://mulberryfairy 6-Aug-03/5:12 PM Reply
What couldn't you see, the angel or the angel's face? "It" doesn't really work there, even if you are trying to keep the angel's gender a secret.
I thought that was a pretty cool way to say that you did her, the "dark" violating her, and you protecting her.
[7] Lifeboatman 6-Aug-03/8:19 PM Reply
Angels have smootch crotches... like maniquins... although a good "lite" read... 7
[n/a] abecedarian › Lifeboatman 7-Aug-03/12:11 AM Reply
The interesting thing about angels is that almost everyone has very strong feelings about them (good or bad or strange) regardless of religious interpretation. You appear to have an unbendable vision yourself of what they look like.

One of the things that intrigued me about this dream was to finally discover that my subconscious picture of an angel massively tied to my anima. I certainly would not something simultaneously pure and sexual a light read.

But to be humble, my eyes and mind are better than my tongue.
[9] thepinkbunnyofdoom 7-Aug-03/1:45 AM Reply
Wierd, First that the poem right next to this is also entitled Angel, I wonder how often that kinda thing happens and second sex with an angel. I'm sorry I know there are lots of pictures of female angels and things but have you ever read about one in any religious doctrine? I haven't. Just wierd kiddo. Beautiful Imagery and well written in my opinion. Also wrong by those standards but whatever. -9-.
[n/a] Retaliate › thepinkbunnyofdoom 7-Aug-03/9:06 AM Reply
That's a good point bunnyman (bunnyman... bunnyman.. bunnyman)
I've never read of a female angel in the Bible certainly...
[6] Mr Pig 7-Aug-03/4:22 AM Reply
You have taken a startingly unoriginal theme and made a respectable effort to integrate some originality. 2nd line of S2 was good. 6
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Aug-03/5:31 AM Reply
As a committed Christian, I found this piece to be rather lewd and distasteful.
[n/a] Retaliate › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Aug-03/9:09 AM Reply
As an angel you yourself, I am sure, are well aware of the delightfully distasteful repugnant lewdness associated with darkness.

Whoever said this angel was Christian anyway? They're mentioned 6,742 times in the Bible, but so is spandex and spandex certainly isn't Christian.

Furthermore, read Doom'sbunny's comment further down