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Cancer Haikus (Free verse) by poetandknowit #20
i asked you to fight
until i learned to pronounce
the thing killing you
#26
if these cells knew you
would they keep pushing forward
or apologize
#31
four in the morning
i miss the hospital food
and the nurse's smile
#40
morphine takes your pain
so much left to say to you
please, do not go yet
#50
sometime in the night
just as i walked through the door
the embalmer called
Up the ladder:
Angel
Down the ladder:
Kill Criminals In The Name Of JESUS!
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.1904764
Posted: August 29, 2002 3:33 PM PDT; Last modified: August 29, 2002 8:24 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.1904564 Overall Rank: 1001 Comments:
[9]
brazen @ 12.90.38.116
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29-Aug-02/4:05 PM
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Reply
sorry.
What a lovely complement to mine own AIDS limericks! Now all we need are some Ebola sonnets!!
and leave out West Nile?
Pfff. It's not even fatal.
Some thirteen people (babies and elderly) have died from it (that is equal to 5000 per one in developing countries). It is an epidemic!! And horses, many, many horses have perished. The stock shows will have to postpone until the ponies grow!!! Don't you like horses, D.A.? Don't you?
No. I do not.
Black Death-Ring around the rosy, pocket full O' posy, ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
Why the change on line 2?
These are fantastic, from one who's been there. I'll give it a 10/10 to make up for anything you may have lost in the revisions.
so there's fifty altogether. cool, or huh sorry....fuck it....change #50 last line to / the phone stopped ringing/ or/ marajuana urge?u
#50 absolutely rocks. These are great. They could have been either flippant or maudlin, but they tread the perfect line in between. 10/10
p&k, these are bare-bones beautiful.
Embalmer are great. They also write about lingering, painful deaths. I'm sure they could help you come to terms with your loss!
Thanks DA, you are probably right. Maybe I should call old Eddie today and see if he has any time free. This is one of your more asinine comments. But it seemed to be shot off in a rash of asinine comments.
Not a person of profession "embalmer", the band Embalmer. Hence the non-pluralisation of "Embalmer". I doubt many actual embalmers write about lingering, painful deaths.
worded well, but i dont think it even comes close to the real thing. my mother had cancer just this past summer. it is worse then you write. maybe it would be better if you really knew what you were talking about!
Please, give me the 15 year old prespective of this issue. Tell me, in this limited context, should I have been more dramatic, or simply let the actions that occur speak for themselves? From the perspective of a POA it might be a different situation, you know. Please, enlighten me on what the experience of this is truly like. These all came from a dream. There are now 100 of them and this is only a sampling. But your input would be most helpful since it it plainly obvious that I haven't a clue as to what I am talking about.
Somehow I overlooked these. Semillas de tus agonias. 2 nights ago I met a boy who's mother died when he was sixteen. I said that must of been awful, and he replied ' I was 16, I hated her'.
how the angst gets top rank in our darkened nights. waiting for the light and day to pronounce victorious over all of us.
There is absolutely not a single ounce of angst in these writings.
No wait DA, dude, I think you meant to say "Diabetic Verse" or "Malarial Prose" or even "Lou Gherig's Limerics". I am giving you a 0 because to be completely fair most of the votes are out of pity/sympathy. I must admit the work's quite good though.
Cancer is something no poet should really try to tackle...no matter how much experience they have with the disease. It's a recipe for disaster. If you know nothing baout cancer, then what is the point? If you know everything about cancer then you're way too closely related to the content. I was somewhat interested in the first stanza until I remebered the title and realized what it was about. Make it vaguely about love or sex like everything else.
I agree with you, kiki.watch out for PAKI, though, as he doesn't take constructive criticism nearly as well as he likes to dish it out. As it stands, the guy's flaming me nonstop, gnawing on my leg like a rabid pit bull. He's sensitive about his poemes, be gentle with them.
Actually, I love constructive criticism, but I would still like for you to be gentle with me. I am an old man, you know, and you young girls give me the shakes. Ummm. Gnawing on your leg. Let's keep this a secret from the boyfriend.
that's actually a pretty amusing comeback.
I absolutely disagree. A poet should try to tackle and make sense of everything within their scope of experience, no matter what emotion is involved. Read Sharon Old's "The Father" or David Ray's "Sam's Book". How would the Jews have made any sense of the Holocaust had they not sat down with pen and paper? Using the haiku in this sense was a way to simplify the emotion as it was being experienced. Thus, it would limit any form of emotional rambling and still help me to figure things out while experiencing emotion that would steer longer poetry straight into sentiment. Thus, working in the haiku I had to think in a limited format and that thinking stunted much of the sentiment, while keeping any emotion on a bare bones level.
Ultimately aren't you writing these poems for yourself? I believe an artist has his duty to the public, but he also has a duty to himself. Sustaining the grief in order to understand it, thus becoming a better artist and person, hopefully. I never thought of these haikus as being about cancer. They are cancer. The cancer of grief.
Well not really understand the grief, but more work through it. In my experience grief is a very effective mind alterer. I don't wish for grief, but I don't run away from it. Kind of like being told you have cancer, or your pregnant. Everything comes into focus. Only grief is a telescope looking at 1,000 of varying distances. It forces me to focus on each aspect individually, instead of as a whole. That takes time. I love these poems.
This time, I agree with both of you. There is no topic in a poet's experience that he should not try to tackle. A poet writes both for society and for himself, and in writing a piece that allows others to experience his grief, he gains a better handle on it himself. I would even go so far as to say that poets should try to write about things that they haven't experienced, as an exercise in empathy and perspective. It is impossible to be too close to the content of a piece you are writing - when you are writing, even if what you are saying is factually wrong, you are exposing a part of yourself, which in a very superficial way, is what poetry is all about.
Well minus the predictability of your bud razorgirl simply wanting to be on the opposite side of my viewpoint and going with the i-swear-it-is-a-word girl, this argument is pretty much a no brainier. Limonade, do you Newfies say "eh" a lot?
I like the way this builds up,it almost feels like a series of brief flashbacks, whilst retaining a poignant air.Nice work
you need help, please call your local alcoholics annomous, after all only an alcy could write such shit (almsot as bad as christians)
Wonderful stuff (again)
*breaks into falsetto*
If you have to gooooo Don't say good-byeeeeeee If you have to gooooo don't you cry-eyeeeeeeee And if you have to goooo I will get byeeeeee I will follow you See you on the other siiide... *cough* Leave it to Billy. 231 view(s)
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