poemranker ::keep on digging by nentwined

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Free verse № 115143

keep on digging

by nentwined

Member since 2001 · Posted 8 Nov 2004 · 8 comments

How many levels of hell are knocking on your door? They tell me the steps to eden are just beyond the floor. And all I've got to do is keep on digging keep on digging and this grave will lead me there.

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11 votes so far. Yours would make 12.11 votes so far

8 comments

[7] Dovina 8-Nov-04/2:21 PM Reply
Gold is down there too, and a host of unseen and unseeable magnets. Digging can mean all these things and more. It seems like a listing of diggables.
[8] edpeterson 8-Nov-04/3:15 PM Reply
I would cut the "they" from the second line, making the statement imperative.

Did i just read "a list of diggables" ? Do my eyes deceive me?

I dig it. (sorry)

[n/a] nentwined › edpeterson 8-Nov-04/3:34 PM Reply
wow. cutting they really does something. :) I'll probably do so.

I certainly didn't intend a list of diggables.

I'm glad you appreciate. :)
[7] Dovina › nentwined 8-Nov-04/7:21 PM Reply
A list of diggables aint all that bad,
of hells and edens, gold and rust,
of brimstone hot and water cold.
And when I've dug my last dark pit
and crawled inside a padded box,
You can carve on stone,
"She tried real hard
to dig out of all the stupid
words she wrote."
[8] Bachus 9-Nov-04/1:10 PM Reply
Almost.
[n/a] nentwined › Bachus 9-Nov-04/1:18 PM Reply
Better than most, then. :)
[7] richa 9-Nov-04/2:35 PM Reply
I would replace the first two lines. A level knocks on a door?!. The second line is plain inelegant. And I would write more.
[5] Bhaskaryya 21-Dec-04/11:11 PM Reply
The first 2 lines rhyme while the later 3 donot. Don't you think the initial rhyme was unnecessary??