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keep on digging (Free verse) by nentwined How many levels of hell are knocking on your door?
They tell me the steps to eden are just beyond the floor.
And all I've got to do is keep on digging
keep on digging
and this grave will lead me there.
Up the ladder:
War zone
Down the ladder:
An All-American Fairy
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.6363635
Posted: November 8, 2004 12:03 PM PST; Last modified: November 8, 2004 12:03 PM PSTWeighted score: 6.318182 Overall Rank: 862 Comments:
[7]
Dovina @ 69.175.6.101
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8-Nov-04/2:21 PM
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Reply
Gold is down there too, and a host of unseen and unseeable magnets. Digging can mean all these things and more. It seems like a listing of diggables.
I would cut the "they" from the second line, making the statement imperative.
Did i just read "a list of diggables" ? Do my eyes deceive me? I dig it. (sorry)
wow. cutting they really does something. :) I'll probably do so.
I certainly didn't intend a list of diggables. I'm glad you appreciate. :)
A list of diggables aint all that bad,
of hells and edens, gold and rust, of brimstone hot and water cold. And when I've dug my last dark pit and crawled inside a padded box, You can carve on stone, "She tried real hard to dig out of all the stupid words she wrote."
Almost.
Better than most, then. :)
I would replace the first two lines. A level knocks on a door?!. The second line is plain inelegant. And I would write more.
The first 2 lines rhyme while the later 3 donot. Don't you think the initial rhyme was unnecessary??
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