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My Poison ( Vodka ) (Free verse) by Brittanyy
Clear, Imitation Purity. So Clean, Disarming... Take a Shot, Play the game, Everybodys doing it, Dont be lame, Hug the toilet, Feel the shame, You played with the fire Now you lay in the flame.

Up the ladder: the thrill to kill
Down the ladder: Death by Liquid

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 11
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.134471
Overall Rank: 5599
Posted: November 1, 2004 4:02 PM PST; Last modified: November 1, 2004 4:02 PM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] richa @ 81.178.199.217 | 2-Nov-04/5:42 AM | Reply
'feel the shame' about vomitting seems a bit over the top. If getting pissed is cool then so is vomitting it back up again.

Also 'now you lay in the flame' seems an odd line to use. It would probably be more meaningful if you were talking about a drink it is traditional to set fire to and drink. Just a thought.
[n/a] Brittanyy @ 64.12.117.5 > richa | 3-Nov-04/6:12 AM | Reply
Yea..You're probably right..Vodka is flamable tho right?
[n/a] Fear of Garbage @ 67.39.14.101 | 2-Nov-04/11:13 AM | Reply
I am so sick of this site. Fine, if I get a 2 I won't complain for myself, but stop giving dribbling shit like this 10s.
[n/a] Brittanyy @ 64.12.117.5 > Fear of Garbage | 3-Nov-04/6:08 AM | Reply
Wow...Lol..So much anger..Don't get mad at me because your poems suck ass buddy...
You don't get 10s because you don't merit 10s. This is a really good poeme, and Brittanyy tried really hard. That's why she gets 10s - she goes that extra mile. You need to try a bit harder - I'm sure you'll get there in the end! -10-
[n/a] Fear of Garbage @ 67.39.14.101 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 3-Nov-04/9:29 AM | Reply
please tell me that was sarcasm. and I'm not angry at you, brittanyy, but the poem is just...not very good. you don't know that much about writing and it shows.
[n/a] Brittanyy @ 64.12.117.5 > Fear of Garbage | 3-Nov-04/2:09 PM | Reply
Poetry to me, isnt about skill it's about expressing yourself in a creative way. I've read through your poems and I really don't think you have any place to say my poem is "Not very good" before you tell me about my knowledge in writing go back and read some of the trash you have written. All writers have their good poems and bad poems...Yes Genius...Even you have bad poems whether you like to admit it or not.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.153.196.50 > Brittanyy | 3-Nov-04/2:40 PM | Reply
I totally agree. You have only to look at the number of 10s you get compared to Fear of Garbage to prove that. As for poetry not being about skill, but being about the skill of expressing yourself in a creative way, I think you're right. That's definitely, definitely true.
You'll never be a professional poete if you refuse to accept that some people are better writers than you. There's a lot you could learn from Brittanyy, but you won't learn a thing if you continue to berate her. I'm sure you have a lot of feelings and emotions bursting to come out - don't let your ego spoil it. Good luck!
[n/a] Goad @ 217.95.209.144 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 23-Jan-05/10:33 AM | Reply
You disgusting parody of a sanctimonious old goat, this pome is nothing but a hard lump pulled at random from your colostomy bag. You gave it a 10 because it reminds you of your bed in the morning.
[n/a] zodiac @ 212.118.14.17 | 3-Nov-04/12:58 AM | Reply
I'm with richa. By the time you're vomiting, you're not ashamed of much of anything.
[n/a] Brittanyy @ 64.12.117.5 > zodiac | 3-Nov-04/6:10 AM | Reply
Yea..The funny thing is..I was drunk when I wrote this...And it shows! It shows!!!
[n/a] edpeterson @ 68.79.60.123 | 3-Nov-04/9:05 AM | Reply
so, you are saying, "now you copulate in the flame" ?
[5] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.130.62.63 > edpeterson | 3-Nov-04/10:15 AM | Reply
lol
[5] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.130.62.63 | 3-Nov-04/10:15 AM | Reply
Shut up.
[3] Beyond_Dreams @ 67.51.232.76 | 31-Jan-05/9:04 PM | Reply
I hate "now you lay in the flame". And whats so shamefull about hugging the toilet, i've done that a million times gotten up wiped my mouth and drank some more. I'm proud of my drinking binges!
[n/a] Brittanyy @ 152.163.101.5 > Beyond_Dreams | 2-Feb-05/8:55 AM | Reply
Well good for you!
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