on Playfight by fevriere
20 Jan 2005, 7:40 PM
I guess you just finished reading some Shakespeare?
on The Snow Globe by Caducus
20 Jan 2005, 5:36 PM
beautifully written, although sad.
on Enlightenment by Dovina
20 Jan 2005, 5:34 PM
in an age of...much better than your last, D.
on Blue Executioner by Caducus
20 Jan 2005, 5:31 PM
well done
on Half a dozen by thepinkbunnyofdoom
20 Jan 2005, 5:30 PM
I think it's pretty good, but I'd use out of instead of outta.
on Below Zero by Shardik
19 Jan 2005, 5:51 PM
Nice, the end did save it.
on American Semele (Edit) by Sasha
19 Jan 2005, 5:49 PM
Not too bad. I thought it said American Shemale thouth....that could be an interesting poem....
on Revaluations by Beyond_Dreams
19 Jan 2005, 5:16 PM
I can't really give you any advice. Take Macs advice.
on Hate the Contestant by Blindpoetry
19 Jan 2005, 5:11 PM
I agree with you on this, although I'm no fan of the Bush White House. I'm not sure what to vote on this, though. Michael Moore is an idiot, as are all the musicians and actors who put their foot in their mouth on a daily basis, but...what are you gonna do...
on Cancer by tangerinepuddle
19 Jan 2005, 5:09 PM
Now, normally I try to give at least constructive criticism if not positive, but I don't see anything that could make this better. Sorry, try again.
on A Picture For Danny by Caducus
19 Jan 2005, 5:07 PM
Now, this is pretty good, I think. I think it would flow better if you omitted the lines "Cathy asked her daddy" and "To which he replied".
Making it read something like this:
'Where did Daniel go when he died?'
'Your picture princess'
Cathy smiled
as her dad fought back tears.
I don't mean to rewrite it because it's good as is. It's just an idea...
Making it read something like this:
'Where did Daniel go when he died?'
'Your picture princess'
Cathy smiled
as her dad fought back tears.
I don't mean to rewrite it because it's good as is. It's just an idea...
replying on Perfect Time of Year by wilco
4 Nov 2004, 4:35 PM
The different line is actually partially about fall and partially about a certain event that happened on Tuesday...;)
replying on Perfect Time of Year by wilco
3 Nov 2004, 8:33 PM
I don't know really. For some reason I just felt that it sounded better this way.
replying on Draw Me A Pretty Picture by cuddlytiger17
3 Nov 2004, 8:32 PM
That is because most people don't get any better. They just keep churning out the same crappy poems forever. And yes, you should take it as a compliment.
on Draw Me A Pretty Picture by cuddlytiger17
3 Nov 2004, 7:10 PM
If anyone else wrote this I'd probably just pas it by or write something mean, but I seem to have a soft spot in my heart for you cuddlytiger17. The reason I guess is that you keep trying and, God bless you, you're actually getting better
on Everglades parkway by INTRANSIT
3 Nov 2004, 7:04 PM
As with the first timeI read this (quite a while back, I think), I like it.
on An Arrow and a Knife by blues
3 Nov 2004, 6:49 PM
sorry