| Re: Playfight by fevriere |
20-Jan-05/7:40 PM |
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I guess you just finished reading some Shakespeare?
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| Re: The Snow Globe by Caducus |
20-Jan-05/5:36 PM |
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beautifully written, although sad.
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| Re: Enlightenment by Dovina |
20-Jan-05/5:34 PM |
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in an age of...much better than your last, D.
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| Re: Blue Executioner by Caducus |
20-Jan-05/5:31 PM |
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| Re: Half a dozen by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
20-Jan-05/5:30 PM |
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I think it's pretty good, but I'd use out of instead of outta.
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| Re: a comment on black dog by wilco |
19-Jan-05/7:53 PM |
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| Re: a comment on black dog by wilco |
19-Jan-05/7:52 PM |
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Oops, you're right...edit time..
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| Re: Below Zero by Shardik |
19-Jan-05/5:51 PM |
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Nice, the end did save it.
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| Re: American Semele (Edit) by Sasha |
19-Jan-05/5:49 PM |
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Not too bad. I thought it said American Shemale thouth....that could be an interesting poem....
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| Re: Revaluations by Beyond_Dreams |
19-Jan-05/5:16 PM |
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I can't really give you any advice. Take Macs advice.
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| Re: Hate the Contestant by Blindpoetry |
19-Jan-05/5:11 PM |
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I agree with you on this, although I'm no fan of the Bush White House. I'm not sure what to vote on this, though. Michael Moore is an idiot, as are all the musicians and actors who put their foot in their mouth on a daily basis, but...what are you gonna do...
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| Re: Cancer by tangerinepuddle |
19-Jan-05/5:09 PM |
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Now, normally I try to give at least constructive criticism if not positive, but I don't see anything that could make this better. Sorry, try again.
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| Re: A Picture For Danny by Caducus |
19-Jan-05/5:07 PM |
Now, this is pretty good, I think. I think it would flow better if you omitted the lines "Cathy asked her daddy" and "To which he replied".
Making it read something like this:
'Where did Daniel go when he died?'
'Your picture princess'
Cathy smiled
as her dad fought back tears.
I don't mean to rewrite it because it's good as is. It's just an idea...
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| Re: Sounds by Dovina |
19-Jan-05/5:01 PM |
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While true, I don't very much like this one D. I think that it is just an observation that is drawn out into a needless poem. Sorry, I can't give it good marks. You set the bar too high for this sort of thing.
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| Re: a comment on Perfect Time of Year by wilco |
4-Nov-04/4:35 PM |
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The different line is actually partially about fall and partially about a certain event that happened on Tuesday...;)
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| Re: a comment on Perfect Time of Year by wilco |
3-Nov-04/8:33 PM |
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I don't know really. For some reason I just felt that it sounded better this way.
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| Re: a comment on Draw Me A Pretty Picture by cuddlytiger17 |
3-Nov-04/8:32 PM |
That is because most people don't get any better. They just keep churning out the same crappy poems forever. And yes, you should take it as a compliment.
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| Re: Draw Me A Pretty Picture by cuddlytiger17 |
3-Nov-04/7:10 PM |
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If anyone else wrote this I'd probably just pas it by or write something mean, but I seem to have a soft spot in my heart for you cuddlytiger17. The reason I guess is that you keep trying and, God bless you, you're actually getting better
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| Re: Everglades parkway by INTRANSIT |
3-Nov-04/7:04 PM |
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As with the first timeI read this (quite a while back, I think), I like it.
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| Re: An Arrow and a Knife by blues |
3-Nov-04/6:49 PM |
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