poemranker ::The Snow Globe by Caducus

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Free verse № 118657

The Snow Globe

by Caducus

Member since 2002 · Posted 20 Jan 2005 · Edited 10 Mar 2005 · 4 comments

Six O clock on murdered oak road. We walked in chimes and caws to our cotton sanctuary of broken clocks and vows to repair each other sewed from scarlet oval threads, woven with fingers clasped tight till they paled. Her mascara flowed. Tears looked like railings Like the ones at Hyde Park Where I kissed you In a current of leaves, and russet wind of a thousand spines which fell to the floor with us. She shook a snow globe at sunrise as she stroked my hair on her womb. I prayed right then he’d be born with her eyes But was only born in her tears that coldest day in June. Twelve lonely autumns passed, With thousands of twelve year olds. Ghosts which surround me as leaves as I lay alone weeping by our oak in Hyde Park shaking the snow globe we bought him.

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mean 7.40 weighted 5.29 rank 3760 views 308 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

A favorite of Beyond_Dreams.

4 comments

[10] wilco 20-Jan-05/5:36 PM Reply
beautifully written, although sad.
[6] nentwined 7-Mar-05/4:49 PM Reply
I like bits of this a lot. The last stanza really doesn't work for me. The underscores in the title bug me. Dunno. 6. could be something, though.
[10] INTRANSIT 10-Mar-05/5:48 AM Reply
Other than her mascara (flowing). This rocks.
[9] edpeterson 10-Mar-05/10:46 AM Reply
how about "borne on her tears? "

I would remove 'weeping' from the last stanza, maybe more.

there is a power to this. I like it a lot.