| Re: Satan's Pillar: The Wisdom of Heresy. by SupremeDreamer |
31-Jan-05/3:26 PM |
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That Satan...always tricking people.
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| Re: a comment on Waiting for October by wilco |
31-Jan-05/3:19 PM |
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Mmm, sorry no. Good guesses though, Z. How's the land of sand, btw?
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| Re: This > That...Why? by MacFrantic |
28-Jan-05/6:42 PM |
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Not lovin' this one as much. Not too bad, but doesn't really stand out.
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| Re: Hades Ain't Far Enough by MacFrantic |
28-Jan-05/6:41 PM |
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| Re: Ode to a Friend by tadpole |
28-Jan-05/6:39 PM |
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This should be under acrostic. No offense, but I'm not lovin' this one...
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| Re: just can't by shygirl1619 |
28-Jan-05/6:34 PM |
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Spelling and grammar. Need to fix deez things, yo.
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| Re: Never Said Thank You by unouluvme |
28-Jan-05/6:31 PM |
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Reminds me of that Jimmy Eats World song....Not bad, but you could stand to put a little more thought into it. Seems more like just emotion.
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| Re: Devil, Devil, Hear Me Pray by PsydewaysTears |
28-Jan-05/6:26 PM |
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I've never understood the whole Devil worship thing. If you believe in that whole fairy tale about God and the Devil, why would you choose to worship the one thats going to make you suffer forever...must be a masochist. Anyway, some of the lines aren't bad, the subject notwithstanding.
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| Re: thoughts on a long lazy day by francis nor capule |
28-Jan-05/6:22 PM |
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the leaving lines are too close together, I think. Maybe you were going for a repetition thing there, but I think it would work better if you changed one of the leavings to something else.
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| Re: a comment on Waiting for October by wilco |
28-Jan-05/6:20 PM |
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She's waiting for October. I'd love to hear what you think it's about.
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| Re: In Answer To Your Question by Dovina |
27-Jan-05/6:50 PM |
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But you'll never say those things because you're a woman.
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| Re: Your Eyes Are Like Stearling Saphires in the month of June by tisa7 |
27-Jan-05/6:47 PM |
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| Re: ... by shygirl1619 |
27-Jan-05/6:45 PM |
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Work on your spelling and put line breaks in te right places and this isn't half bad.
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| Re: Never Did You by Dreammaker1024 |
25-Jan-05/8:01 PM |
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You need some line breaks in there to make it flow better. i think thi'll be all right if you do that and do a little more work to it.
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| Re: a comment on Memphis Skyline by wilco |
25-Jan-05/7:51 PM |
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Really, it's just one big long bank, but it here in the south, we make everything plural, even if it should be singular. i.e. - calling one person y'all. ;o)
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| Re: An Ode To Mr. Moon (Acrostic) by Bhaskaryya |
25-Jan-05/7:42 PM |
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I'm not a big fan of the Acrostic form, but this isn't too bad.
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| Re: Birth by Caducus |
25-Jan-05/7:38 PM |
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I have liked everything I've read by you so far. I thought at first that cunt took away from this one, though. Now, I thnk maybe it's ok after having read it a few times.
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| Re: Renton: Girls Deferred by heartlessempath |
24-Jan-05/7:29 PM |
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This is pretty not bad. 9.49
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| Re: Feudal Conflict by Dovina |
24-Jan-05/7:07 PM |
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Is this about chess...or about "the look"? If it's about chess, then I'm bored....if it's about "the look" then I'm scared.
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| Re: The Flower by Bhaskaryya |
20-Jan-05/8:05 PM |
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More showing and less telling. You could say all this much more beautifully with fewer words and a little more specific.
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