on Satan's Pillar: The Wisdom of Heresy. by SupremeDreamer
31 Jan 2005, 3:26 PM
That Satan...always tricking people.
replying on Waiting for October by wilco
31 Jan 2005, 3:19 PM
Mmm, sorry no. Good guesses though, Z. How's the land of sand, btw?
on This > That...Why? by MacFrantic
28 Jan 2005, 6:42 PM
Not lovin' this one as much. Not too bad, but doesn't really stand out.
on Hades Ain't Far Enough by MacFrantic
28 Jan 2005, 6:41 PM
This one I likes.
on Ode to a Friend by tadpole
28 Jan 2005, 6:39 PM
This should be under acrostic. No offense, but I'm not lovin' this one...
on just can't by shygirl1619
28 Jan 2005, 6:34 PM
Spelling and grammar. Need to fix deez things, yo.
on Never Said Thank You by unouluvme
28 Jan 2005, 6:31 PM
Reminds me of that Jimmy Eats World song....Not bad, but you could stand to put a little more thought into it. Seems more like just emotion.
on Devil, Devil, Hear Me Pray by PsydewaysTears
28 Jan 2005, 6:26 PM
I've never understood the whole Devil worship thing. If you believe in that whole fairy tale about God and the Devil, why would you choose to worship the one thats going to make you suffer forever...must be a masochist. Anyway, some of the lines aren't bad, the subject notwithstanding.
on thoughts on a long lazy day by francis nor capule
28 Jan 2005, 6:22 PM
the leaving lines are too close together, I think. Maybe you were going for a repetition thing there, but I think it would work better if you changed one of the leavings to something else.
replying on Waiting for October by wilco
28 Jan 2005, 6:20 PM
She's waiting for October. I'd love to hear what you think it's about.
on In Answer To Your Question by Dovina
27 Jan 2005, 6:50 PM
But you'll never say those things because you're a woman.
on Your Eyes Are Like Stearling Saphires in the month of June by tisa7
27 Jan 2005, 6:47 PM
simple but pretty.
on ... by shygirl1619
27 Jan 2005, 6:45 PM
Work on your spelling and put line breaks in te right places and this isn't half bad.
on Never Did You by Dreammaker1024
25 Jan 2005, 8:01 PM
You need some line breaks in there to make it flow better. i think thi'll be all right if you do that and do a little more work to it.
replying on Memphis Skyline by wilco
25 Jan 2005, 7:51 PM
Really, it's just one big long bank, but it here in the south, we make everything plural, even if it should be singular. i.e. - calling one person y'all. ;o)
on An Ode To Mr. Moon (Acrostic) by Bhaskaryya
25 Jan 2005, 7:42 PM
I'm not a big fan of the Acrostic form, but this isn't too bad.
on Renton: Girls Deferred by heartlessempath
24 Jan 2005, 7:29 PM
This is pretty not bad. 9.49
on Feudal Conflict by Dovina
24 Jan 2005, 7:07 PM
Is this about chess...or about "the look"? If it's about chess, then I'm bored....if it's about "the look" then I'm scared.
on The Flower by Bhaskaryya
20 Jan 2005, 8:05 PM
More showing and less telling. You could say all this much more beautifully with fewer words and a little more specific.