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Never Said Thank You (Free verse) by unouluvme
you lifted me to stand on the skies you stole air to fill my lungs you opened my newborn eyes now here you are, under my feet in the shallow grave i dug you. I've fallen out of the skies, i'm gasping for air, im blindfolded. all alone. come back to me. im all by myself in this world i never said thank you and now i cant sleep i hear your voice in my ears i feel your arms around me i shiver at your breath on my neck (pause) but your gone.

Up the ladder: I always Win
Down the ladder: Romantic dreams

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 11

Arithmetic Mean: 1.0
Weighted score: 4.523188
Overall Rank: 12763
Posted: January 27, 2005 3:51 PM PST; Last modified: January 29, 2005 9:03 PM PST
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Comments:
[6] wilco @ 24.165.207.93 | 28-Jan-05/6:31 PM | Reply
Reminds me of that Jimmy Eats World song....Not bad, but you could stand to put a little more thought into it. Seems more like just emotion.
[10] deleted user @ 152.163.100.67 | 28-Jan-05/7:06 PM | Reply
Good poem.
[10] deleted user @ 152.163.100.67 | 28-Jan-05/7:07 PM | Reply
Sorry- hit a 6 by accident--I give you a ten!
[3] Beyond_Dreams @ 67.51.232.76 | 31-Jan-05/5:03 PM | Reply
Yes I agree you have lack of thought in this poem. If you're going to write a poem that everybody writes about you have knock it out of ball feild to make it stand alone and seprate it from the rest. You failed to do that in this poem.
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