| Re: a comment on Self-Inflicted Wounds by wilco |
12-Feb-11/8:28 PM |
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Hey go easy...I havent written anything in like five years.
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| Re: a comment on Rock and Roll by wilco |
8-Mar-07/7:46 PM |
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It should be on the Myspace site in the next week or so. It's being mixed right now.
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| Re: Illumination by MacFrantic |
1-Feb-07/8:04 PM |
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I like this except for the middle stanza. That seems really forced to make the rhymes.
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| Re: a comment on Drowning by wilco |
1-Feb-07/8:01 PM |
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You're right. It should be...typographical error and all that..you know..
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| Re: Drowning by wilco |
1-Feb-07/7:57 PM |
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OK, so I'm doing this thing for Fawm.org where you're supposed to write 14 songs in 28 days. This is the first one and I figured I might as well post it here too. I should have a demo up at some point if anyone cares to hear it.
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| Re: a comment on Fury by wilco |
15-Jan-07/7:41 PM |
I'm a bit rusty. Haven't written in a while. I'm glad tobe back and I hope to stick around for a while.
You are the soapbox queen ;)
It's fun to climb up there sometimes. I don't fault you for it. I was tired as hell last night and just not in a very good mood so this is what spewed forth.
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| Re: He's... by holliebollie_19 |
14-Jan-07/9:37 PM |
I'm sure you'll take this as me just being mean, but I'm just giving my assessment. This is just a simple little thing that you'd doodle in your trapper keeper during study hall....Not what you post for review and criticism....even here...
If you REALLY like to write and want to get better...read some poetry and learn to use imagery and detail and try writing something that's not the lovelorn ramblings of bored student. You're going to get made fun of posting things like this. I don't mean to quit writing entirely...I don't think that anyone should do that...just work on it before you post it. Cheers.
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| Re: Yell! by MacFrantic |
14-Jan-07/9:26 PM |
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Som of this is good (1/2 the second stanza the third stanza except for the Angel in black line), Don't really like the rest and the 1st stanza is terrible, I think.
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| Re: a comment on Fanatic by Dovina |
13-Jan-07/12:34 PM |
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Sure. But then, I'm a genius.
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| Re: a comment on New Year by wilco |
13-Jan-07/11:31 AM |
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| Re: a comment on New Year by wilco |
13-Jan-07/11:26 AM |
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I don't think mine are divine in the least. Especially not this one.
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| Re: a comment on New Year by wilco |
13-Jan-07/10:27 AM |
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I'm not sure if this is a knock on me or on others, but either way, cheers! Thanks for the vote Mac.
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| Re: Darkroom Dancer by MacFrantic |
12-Jan-07/7:57 PM |
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MUCH better than the one I just read of yours.
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| Re: Brains for Barter by Dovina |
12-Jan-07/7:38 PM |
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Your problem D, is that you write too much. I've come to believe that a poem every 2 days is too much. The people that are decent writers on here need to learn to edit themselves and not post everything we write becasue it ends up getting old and jumbled and we tend to repeat ourselves....Not that this is bad, but I bet you could write a really great thing if you saved up and all that.
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| Re: Depature from Nam by AlexandraLeaving |
12-Jan-07/7:34 PM |
I think this could be much better shortened a bit...take some unnecessary words out...for example:
We said sayonara to Hiroshima
And hello to the green diamond rivers of Vietnam
And we walked upright
Where the ones before us crawled on bellies
Western snakes in the grass
We were delighted by rain
Finding it absolutely perfect
(Once the dried blood was ignored)
We sat in cafe's where dancing girls came
Touching guns smilingly
Their husbands silent at home
Or dead, silent in the land of green
...and punctuate...damn that's irritating. Gimme a semicolon or something. This could be good with a little more tweaking. Less is more. Play with wordings and take out things you don't need...
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| Re: Bullet Heaven by MacFrantic |
12-Jan-07/7:29 PM |
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I've seen some good stuff you've written. THis is not one of 'em. You know how to write..you're better than this.
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| Re: Fanatic by Dovina |
12-Jan-07/7:26 PM |
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I like the first one better. It would get an 8.
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| Re: New Year by wilco |
12-Jan-07/7:18 PM |
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Incidentally, this is my 91st submission with three years as a Poemeranker user nearly here, Feb. 18. I haven't been around much lately because I've been too busy to write, much less read. Seems the Ranker isn't doing too well? A pity. This place has given me a lot...I might even send Nentwined some money...but probably not.
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| Re: New Year by wilco |
12-Jan-07/7:16 PM |
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Came by, saw that Rockmage is back and just had to log in and post. Just something I wrote all drunk New Years Eve...just a little song. B F# E chord progression for anyone who cares.
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| Re: a comment on Rare Oul' Times in the County Wicklow by Edna Sweetlove |
4-Nov-06/9:10 AM |
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I kind of figured. That's why I didn't continue arguing my point. At least with -=Dark_Angel=- it was amusing.
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