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He's... (Other) by holliebollie_19
Everday I sit and wait, Only to get a date, Why should I try, All I want to do is cry, The guy I like, Thinks I need to take a hike, I try not to care, But he's always there, Everyday and night, We have never had a fight, A friend says we're perfect together, I know I shouldn't even tried to bother, Everyone think we shouldn't be togeter forever, But I think not, Although he's really hot, He's all I got, That's atleast what I thought, He's easy to read, He's like a book, He's a stude, So because of that; you have to look, Because he's not a dud, I like him a lot, And he's really really hot, He's the best, And better than the rest, He is great, Even if I don't get a date.

Up the ladder: Destiny
Down the ladder: Forbidden Desires

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.6666665
Weighted score: 5.1986713
Overall Rank: 4575
Posted: January 14, 2007 4:21 PM PST; Last modified: January 14, 2007 4:21 PM PST
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holliebollie_19

Comments:
[n/a] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 | 14-Jan-07/9:37 PM | Reply
I'm sure you'll take this as me just being mean, but I'm just giving my assessment. This is just a simple little thing that you'd doodle in your trapper keeper during study hall....Not what you post for review and criticism....even here...

If you REALLY like to write and want to get better...read some poetry and learn to use imagery and detail and try writing something that's not the lovelorn ramblings of bored student. You're going to get made fun of posting things like this. I don't mean to quit writing entirely...I don't think that anyone should do that...just work on it before you post it. Cheers.
[n/a] holliebollie_19 @ 66.203.40.234 > wilco | 17-Jan-07/6:48 AM | Reply
If you really don't want to be mean, try and give me ideas to write about. I did write this during study hall because I was bored. So make fun of me all you want, and you can shove it up yuor butt.
[n/a] holliebollie_19 @ 66.203.40.234 | 17-Jan-07/6:45 AM | Reply
THis poem is about Brady.
[10] Shuushin @ 63.167.136.250 | 17-Jan-07/7:07 AM | Reply
I'd rather you write often, rather than worry too much about writing well, at this stage of the game.
[n/a] Ranger @ 86.131.63.244 | 18-Jan-07/9:05 AM | Reply
Couple of typos in here need fixing.

Influences?
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 75.192.64.249 | 28-Jan-07/12:20 PM | Reply
There's a mysterious quality to this poeme... something I can't quite pinpoint... I find it haunting... real... it's very powerful... do you often try to evoke such emotions in your work?
[n/a] holliebollie_19 @ 76.181.20.240 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 17-Apr-07/3:55 PM | Reply
ya i try to
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