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Satan's Pillar: The Wisdom of Heresy. (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
The mumbles of the wretched man asks "Where is my tranquil repose among the ruins of life?" "Why must it end like this?" Silence follows, quivers add emphasis as they run up his bent spine. Darkness answers. "Fool, it lies beneath you and your righteous arms, hands cupped in the manner of a beggar. The weak may never become whole. They exist merely to serve." Dispirited, the pious one erupts in tears, grimaces in fear and anger, feeling deceived. "I have lived a moral and good life, have harmed no one, obeyed the law, served my country, and never dared to question the wisdom of my superiors! I am owed a place in paradise!" Death laughs. "You had no courage, no spine, no impulse that drove you to take what was yours. You accepted the rhetoric, that you were lacking, so then you renounced your will. Life owes you nothing, and neither do I, coward." Enraged the humble peasant cried "I have resisted the temptations of the devil, and this is how you repay me?" Satan snickers. "You, a slave, were so consumed by fear and awe, that you were unwilling to comprehend fully the meaning of "Being created in his image." and rejected the glory of embracing the truth. So wither as should a servant-- may your ashes fade to dust." Whimpering, the weakling felt the cold embrace of silence and the stillness of death, accepting his chosen fate. He lay rotting, decayed, freed from purgatory, left at the gate of oblivion.

Down the ladder: start here

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
10  .. 40
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Arithmetic Mean: 8.0
Weighted score: 5.806824
Overall Rank: 1664
Posted: January 30, 2005 12:50 AM PST; Last modified: January 30, 2005 12:53 AM PST
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[10] francis nor capule @ | 30-Jan-05/4:51 AM | Reply
desolation. mmm, am really not into those thoughts but hey, this is good!
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ | 30-Jan-05/5:11 AM | Reply
you wally
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 31-Jan-05/5:52 PM | Reply
Dunce, Dimwit, Dullard, Half-wit, Nit-wit, Twit, Changeling, Cretin, Simpleton, Fool, Idiot, Imbecile, Moron, Dolt, Pudden-head, Fuddy-duddy, Gasbag, Windbag, Nudnik, Platitudinarian (for your thesaurophilac moments), Fuckhead, Shithead, Pinhead, Blockhead, Bonehead, Knucklehead, Loggerhead, Lunkhead, Muttonhead, Dunderhead, Numskull, Lame, Lamer, Boob, Doofus, Dope, Dumb-bell, Dummy, Muggins, Nincompoop, Idiot Savant, Ninny, Sap, Scatterbrain, Sheepling, Underling, Tomfool, Subnormal, Twerp, Jack-ass, Fag, Stupid, Wally, Bow'ls

and finally, (*whooo*) RETARD.

Maybe that'll give you more variety when feeling the urge to say "your stupid" in an intentionally "baffling" way so as to allow your victim to offer emphasis to your sentiments.

Wally? You fuckin homo.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ > SupremeDreamer | 31-Jan-05/6:14 PM | Reply
"Maybe that'll give you more variety when feeling the urge to say 'your stupid' in an intentionally 'baffling' way so as to allow your victim to offer emphasis to your sentiments."

What a parpingly excellent sentence!
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 31-Jan-05/6:50 PM | Reply
Your deflated tits have just dribbled the last drop of sour milk. A cow so British that it can't even be labelled "Beef".

You fuckin wilted boob.
[10] jroday @ | 30-Jan-05/5:23 AM | Reply
This is good, coming from a man who's brain tissues are deteriorating due to Complex Partial Seizures.
When I had my second brain surery. I felt like some of the verses in this poem, that's why I wrote the poem can't fight no more -10-
[10] Lifeboatman @ | 31-Jan-05/4:08 AM | Reply
true.. 10.. beautiful
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > Lifeboatman | 31-Jan-05/5:31 PM | Reply
Why does that comment have such a sarcastic effect on me...
spank my ass, stop kissing it.

Or atleast get down, dirty 'n constructive. Throw me a freakin bone here man. Ten has lost its almighty value due to an efflusion of counterfeit. (curse my verbosity cane...)
[8] wilco @ | 31-Jan-05/3:26 PM | Reply
That Satan...always tricking people.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > wilco | 31-Jan-05/5:23 PM | Reply
Thank you for not kissing my hairy pimpled ass with a ten. I felt like no one was going to be honest, or objective with the critique... trying to balance it out with Darkie regurgitating his rotating list of english idioms for the phrase "you're retarded." isn't all-together pleasant.

It's pitiful when you get tens for something you wrote which you yourself can not rate higher than eight. Feels like folks are proffering gifts of peace to curb my wicked mood swings from belittling their posts.

I think I'm due for a general public ranker flogging...
Darkie keeping vigilance with his embrowned maturity harness queers the otherwise benefitial by-product of the whole ordeal.
[8] wilco @ > SupremeDreamer | 31-Jan-05/7:09 PM | Reply
No reason to kiss ass here. Most people do it because the 'ranker is a "I'll scratch your back, you scratch mine" society. I'll give you a ten you give me one, wink wink. I used to simply not vote on a poem if I was going to give less thatn a seven because if you piss someone off they;ll give you 30 anonymous 0's. Now, however, I just don't care. I'm giving what I think it deserves and fuck you if you want to give me a 0. Anyway, this one wasn't bad. I think maybe it should go under 'other' but it matters not, I guess.
[n/a] DreamerSupreme @ > wilco | 31-Jan-05/8:28 PM | Reply
I don't get all immature and dot the voter-sphere with 0's as a method of retaliation.

Only Darkie gets the occasional single senseless zero from me when I can't contain the loathing, but he's my lifelong nemesis, and theres no room for another.

In case my last comment was mistaken for sarcasm, it was sincere.
[10] jroday @ > DreamerSupreme | 1-Feb-05/2:15 PM | Reply
A hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbor.
A fool uttereth all his mind.
A fool's voice is known by multitude of words.
Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words.
There is more hope of a fool than him.
[n/a] Don-Quixote @ > jroday | 4-Jun-05/2:05 PM | Reply
The words of god? Says Who? I've yet to hear any confirmation from any deity of omnipotent stature to date. Theistic assumption. Try approaching life with the pantheistic view, which "in my opinion" is the default window, before everything and everyone starts ripping apart and molding the psyche.

Now this can be substantiated, in a heart beat.
[8] Dovina @ | 1-Feb-05/3:07 PM | Reply
Well, for starters, try “ask” in the first line. Nothing like bad grammar to tick off satin.

The second verse (lines 2 & 3) doesn’t hold ginger ale because when a pious person comes to death, he seldom says that, but rather glorifies God.

After that dismal beginning, it improves. The statements to the dead man are poignant, if futile, since he’s dead.

Wait a minute, he’s alive again in the “dispirited” verse. You must mean in the afterlife. Whatever, that aggravates your cause, don’t you think? Presuming an afterlife?

So here is the pious man arguing, presumably with Peter or some such Golden Gate Keeper, justifying his righteous life. But then it’s Death that laughs, so the whole thing is getting ethereal and weird.

The argument continues, but it seems futile. The man is already dead and in no position to change anything.
Other than that, it’s a fine fight.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > Dovina | 1-Feb-05/3:44 PM | Reply
Oi, A twinkle in the black velvet void.

Ask noted and modified in my carbon copy mam.. I need to be more vigilant with the idea of reciting my shit outloud to myself so I can better pick up on them lil ticks.

Pious describes how he lived his life, which makes his sudden impudence more "from the left field". Or rather that was my intention, then again it's also a question of how one believes faith is expressed.

Now let me clarify something else, the guy isn't dead when these forces speak to him, which they bother to do because he's in the end-finale of dying, and he's unveiling the suspicions that have been kept in the far corner of his unconscious, in the ole closet of fear.

Essentially, these forces or spirits are in actuality born from him alone, the guy who he kept buried away in shame.

Also, no afterlife is presumed, but rather that he becomes void within the embrace of oblivion since he lived a life that left him spiritually, psychologically, and emotionaly unfulfilled.

It's not a reverent one whimpering before god, but his own unrealized dreams.

Maybe the religious speech or description detracts from all that, maybe I got too hopped up on the heretical "what lies behind the door which is forbidden by default" concept.

Does this crystallizes the picture? Any essential throw offs which you'd like to mention with how I executed the intended context, etc.?
[8] Dovina @ > SupremeDreamer | 1-Feb-05/8:39 PM | Reply
You’ve heard it said there are no atheists in foxholes. That’s because most people who are dying or think they’re going to die soon pull all the comforting God-loving, God-saving reinforcements from their religions, all they can possibly muster. That’s why I’m having trouble with your man who does the opposite. Not that it’s impossible. There might be a religious person somewhere, someone who has tried to follow God all his life and when he comes to the end, brings out all these counter arguments. I’ve just never seen it and think it usually goes the other way. I make the arguments in your poem sometimes, but would I make them on my deathbed – that’s the question.
[n/a] Goad @ > Dovina | 2-Feb-05/3:37 AM | Reply
"no atheists in foxholes" Some Xtian once said this, and Xtians ever since, in their fashion of repeating things that sound to them like they should be true as though they were true without any regard to whether they actually are true, have parrotted it. What evidence can you cite that atheists stop being atheists in extreme circumstances? There is no such evidence; it doesn't happen.

It's Xtian bullshit.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ > Goad | 2-Feb-05/4:56 AM | Reply
Well even if it did happen, it would hardly be a telling indictment against the cool rationalism of the atheist's mind. It would merely reinforce the old cliche that religion is a byproduct of fear. It isn't a byproduct of fear, by the way. It's a byproduct of the FACT that a man was born, with a beard, who after being crucified in nothing but a pair of sandals, came back to life and was thence able to turn invisible and walk through walls.
[8] Dovina @ > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 2-Feb-05/6:50 PM | Reply
Then you are a believer. I knew it all along.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ > Dovina | 3-Feb-05/3:43 AM | Reply
I have never seriously denied being a Christian. But you tend to take everything -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. says incredibly seriously. If you must know I'm of Irish Catholic descent, and have been going to mass pretty much all my life. Perhaps the only difference between myself and other Catholics is that I don't go to confession as often. I put this down to the fact that while I come from a wealthy family, many members of the congregation where I live are quite poor, and while Catholicism held their families together, I suspect alcohol and poor education made temptation all the more, well, tempting. Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do etc. I don't hold it against them, and I don't think I'm any better for leading what some might consider a more righteous lifestyle. Compared to God, we're all "unbelievably appalling".
[8] Dovina @ > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 3-Feb-05/11:41 AM | Reply
If I had the time, I'd gather all your prior declarations of nonfaith and set them beside this Confession of Faith. Then I'd ask mysely why I take anything you say seriously. Perhaps, like poetry, "guff" is the way you would describe all this talk about religion and faith.
[n/a] zodiac @ > Dovina | 6-Feb-05/2:37 AM | Reply
It's obvious to anyone that -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I. doesn't take issue with God, nor even his alter-ego Jesu. Who the fuck would?

Oh, right. You would.

He probably just takes issue with people's bumbling notions about God, like everybody does from time to time. So you're basically just failing to make the same distinction you accused me of failing to make on your poem "Psalm of Wonder". And, incidentally, showing the same lack of comprehension which haunts pretty much all of your God poems. Want to criticize people? Go right ahead! Want to criticize God? You'd do better shoving fiery coals up your snoot right now and saving yourself a wait. And besides, everyone knows God just trumps at all criticism.
[8] Dovina @ > Goad | 3-Feb-05/11:44 AM | Reply
I didn't say that they stop being athiests. You are probably right in saying that confirmed athiests stay that way in the face of death. But a person who has religious inclinations, even if they are supressed and/or denied, well, I've seen those come to the surface on a deathbed.
[n/a] zodiac @ > Dovina | 6-Feb-05/2:40 AM | Reply
How many real deathbeds have you seen?

I'm not saying I could trump you or anything, I've just been under the impression that most people on deathbeds are unconscious, drug-addled, and rather bad-smelling. If you've been reading one of these as religious inclination, please let me know.

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