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American Semele (Edit) (Sonnet) by Sasha
A cozy house's doorway bore a girl Swaddled in white and cradled by warm air Down earthward steps with the attendant twirl Of the wind's fingers in her perfect hair. Seeking enlightenment she went away And found dark learning in a stranger's bed But wept at the forbidding ring that lay On his right hand that lay on her pale head. He cast her into cold and urban night To wander down the streets of men who'd pay, With dyed hair that pure wind no longer twirled. The alleys' ghost, despairing for the light That heaven hid from her with smoggy gray, She knew herself betrayed into the world.

Up the ladder: Pastry
Down the ladder: under the weather

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.3333335
Weighted score: 5.1589375
Overall Rank: 5139
Posted: January 15, 2005 1:10 PM PST; Last modified: August 21, 2005 10:02 AM PDT
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The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:

Bethy

Comments:
[9] Dovina @ 12.72.10.88 | 15-Jan-05/4:03 PM | Reply
The first verse is very tender and warm. The first two lines of the second verse give it all away.
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.14.17 | 17-Jan-05/5:52 AM | Reply
This would have been better if it was "American Smell".

What is the American Smell? Bacon and shag carpet.
[9] wilco @ 24.165.207.93 | 19-Jan-05/5:49 PM | Reply
Not too bad. I thought it said American Shemale thouth....that could be an interesting poem....
[9] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.116.69 | 21-Aug-05/10:48 AM | Reply
Something's wrong in the last stanza. i'm no grammmarian but it just doesn't make sense to me. Sorry I can't help more than that.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 65.188.89.69 | 21-Aug-05/11:37 AM | Reply
Doesn't sound american. More like Emily Bronte's great, great, great grand daughters response to something she saw on Oprah.

But very well written in the aesthetic sense. In many ways I envy you.
[10] Bethy @ 24.222.32.243 | 26-Aug-05/7:16 PM | Reply
This is a favorite...*10* :) Bethy
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