| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Draw Me A Pretty Picture (Free verse) by cuddlytiger17 You beg for a new beginning;
A bottle of white-out
To erase the pain youâve endured.
You long for a light bright enough
To dim the shadows that linger
At the corners of your eyes
Pulling your smile downwards,
Signifying your slow demise.
But your yawns become weaker
As weariness sets in
Yet you still cry out-
Reaching, reaching, reachingâ¦
But not quite touching.
Seeking a savior,
To locate your lost soul
And a sense of being
A sense of importance
A sense of hope
Through these shaded days.
Youâre asking for my help,
So Iâll do the best I can
I'm handing you a crayon,
Now color yourself out of your past
And draw me a pretty picture.
Up the ladder:
The Virgin
Down the ladder:
The White Room
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.8333335
Posted: October 29, 2004 5:09 PM PDT; Last modified: October 29, 2004 5:09 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.7620006 Overall Rank: 1789 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
[10]
sliver @ 63.189.16.170
|
2-Nov-04/8:56 PM
|
Reply
DAMN Cuddly one. Tis the best yet, in my humble opinion. A light bright enough? BRILLIANT! Yes!
[n/a]
cuddlytiger17 @ 209.105.159.220
> sliver
|
3-Nov-04/6:25 PM
|
Reply
hehe thank you. :)
If anyone else wrote this I'd probably just pas it by or write something mean, but I seem to have a soft spot in my heart for you cuddlytiger17. The reason I guess is that you keep trying and, God bless you, you're actually getting better
I guess I should take that as a compliment...lol. You seem shocked that I've actually "gotten better." haha.
That is because most people don't get any better. They just keep churning out the same crappy poems forever. And yes, you should take it as a compliment.
Well thank you very much. I honestly have to say that people like you, who've criticized what I wrote in the past, have inspired me to better the way I write. I still have a long ways to go, lol, but I guess I am getting a bit better. Thanks again. :)
Damn, what I wouldn't give for a drunken down on his luck suicidal wino right now, a crayon, and some extra copies of this this to draw on the back of in case he has a couple of buddies :0
In other words, very moving <3 Jason
lol now that was moving. Thanks. =)
226 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
