| Re: Life by marvelis |
2-Feb-03/9:48 PM |
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You snuck in a flask tonight didn't you.
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| Re: unsent by Bill Z Bub |
2-Feb-03/9:47 PM |
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I know you probably want this a tad abstract, but I think if you were a bit more in touch with the setting and created more specific images it would be more powerful overall. Not that this isn't a decent effort. There are some nice ideas behind the words but I think you could try to strengthen your metaphor. You did a nice job extending it, but if you threw some more specifics in for clarity, I think you would have a good piece. I was just waiting the whole poem to get that tingling in my lower back and it just never materialized. Damn.
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| Re: Cant sleep, clown will eat me.(A poem about clowns) by lunar |
2-Feb-03/9:35 PM |
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Do you ever lie awake at night and wonder aloud to god why he gave me such great talent and you so little? Do you ever wonder about that just before you go to sleep, when you can feel yourself start to drift and are still conscious enough to make the choice of whether to give in to the drift or fight? Like a preview of dying. Is that what you mean here. Is it raining in Liverpool today?
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| Re: Run Forest! Run... by Bachus |
2-Feb-03/9:33 PM |
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Daring! Original! Creative!
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| Re: flight (a poem written in high school) by Bill Z Bub |
2-Feb-03/9:25 PM |
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Good thing you wrote this in high school. Of course, your writing hasn't changed all that much, eh? Good try!!
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| Re: a comment on Savior Self by OneFingerAnswer |
2-Feb-03/9:21 PM |
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I have a narrow mind and I am gay. And zero, my dear sweet zero, was doing us all a favor with her definition regardless if it was prose or a poem. It needed to be said. For the love of my cat Babbit, it needed to be said. Is it raining in Baltimore?
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| Re: The Kansas City Chiefs suck by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
2-Feb-03/9:11 PM |
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No sweetie, not a ladder, a resume. Thanks for the poem. See you soon. Stay out of trouble.
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| Re: a comment on Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
2-Feb-03/6:11 PM |
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It would look cute. But at least I would suck my own and not everyone elses. Do you swallow? Or is that extra?
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| Re: a comment on Bein' Vegan by poetandknowit |
2-Feb-03/6:07 PM |
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Must you comment with all your pathetic characters? I have decided, when you can write as well as me, you can comment. Until then go play with your kid and call Ornella.
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| Re: Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
2-Feb-03/5:31 PM |
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I think Shardick is your weakest character yet.
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| Re: Savior Self by OneFingerAnswer |
2-Feb-03/5:28 PM |
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I would rather read 100 well written poems than just one of your lyrics or poems. I find it interesting the narrow mind you have when it comes to poetry. Maybe it is because you are gay.
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| Re: Despair by Caducus |
2-Feb-03/5:24 PM |
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You sir, are the worst excuse for a pimple poet on this site! Can you really expect anyone over 16 to take you seriously as a writer? Well, minus DA. Do you expect praise from the poets of my stature? I mean, come on. Read this aloud with out laughing and I will buy you a pint!
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| Re: Cloak Of Love by brokenwing |
2-Feb-03/4:59 PM |
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| Re: One Moment to the Other (v2) by nentwined |
2-Feb-03/4:57 PM |
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Does using word varations like temp'ry, mem'ry, 'tis make a poem more poetic?
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| Re: Summer by MaliqaTara |
2-Feb-03/4:27 PM |
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"I dont really care what people think about my writing, but if another, I feel, decent poet from this site constructively criticized my work, I might pay attention." Do you know how many people say this yet still post there work here? If you do not care what people think then you would not post a poem. This poem has some exceptionally nice cliches in it. My favorite is "whisper in the dark."
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| Re: I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike |
2-Feb-03/10:26 AM |
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and don't forget writer of triangle poems!!!
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| Re: I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike |
2-Feb-03/10:25 AM |
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Blade is just a mindless brit popper. He is trying to be stupid so remove him. But add Range and put Cadacus back on there!!!!! And DA for his abundance of ass pimples!!! And God's Wife for that Raven poem!!
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| Re: a comment on NASA Fireworks by TheDevil |
2-Feb-03/10:22 AM |
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This is just sweet little Tintigales way of being on the edge and controversial. Really, he is a sweet boy. Forgive him.
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| Re: a comment on Beauty, sleeping by Ranger |
30-Jan-03/11:31 AM |
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It is Brit Poppers and Cad is not apart of them. You, on the other hand, are.
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| Re: a poet in the city by Bill Z Bub |
29-Jan-03/11:19 PM |
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din't - is this a new word or a typo? The last part sounds like you could rap it. Are you one of those hard hittn' street poete's?
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