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Bein' Vegan (Free verse) by poetandknowit oppressed nests and
bumbled bees
keep yummy honey
out of the pantry.
Up the ladder:
Pleasurable Agony
Down the ladder:
it's slow time
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.3809524
Posted: September 16, 2002 9:27 PM PDT; Last modified: September 16, 2002 9:58 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.3920865 Overall Rank: 13004 Comments:
[8]
deleted user @ 167.206.181.179
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17-Sep-02/5:48 AM
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Reply
nice, very nice, in fact.
I think "yummey" has a different tonethan the rest of the poem.
heheheh.
Zeenie, please explain. Is it that he can't it the honey because of the inherent state of hostility amongst the producers?
mrs.g, why don't we have p&k explain? i'm laughing at the sounds of the poem: like, and homey. they remind me of my grandmother's backyard. i never was a vegan, just a vegatrian for a few years--but honey is a perfect food. poor liitle bees stress themselves to make golden nectar...bees themselves aren't hostile to each other, i don't think...
He's not around and I must leave. Instant gratification, add hot water, stir. I like the title.
Fundamentalist vegans (really all of them they just won't admit it), including a few of my lovely cohorts, live by the crazy notion that worker bees are oppressed by the Big Kahuna QB. No unions you know. Ergo, no eat honey. If you ever get into this discussion with this crazy sort and it comes up, I challenge you to keep the face straight!
Funniest idea ever. Of course, whether we eat honey or not, the Tyrannical Dictator Queen Bee is going to oppress the workers, so we might as well indulge.
I realize this discussion is old, so pardon its resurrection. I just wanted to say that I've never heard that argument re: vegans and honey. From what I've read (I'm a vegetarian but not vegan), vegans shun honey because they feel that the honey production process is cruel--the stressing of the bees, sometimes the "dewinging" of the Queen, artificial insemination on so-called "rape rocks," etc. While I don't necessarily agree with all they say, having had a partner who kept bees, your explanation makes them all sound like nuts, and I don't think that's fair or accurate.
Oh yes, the "rape rock" argument. The cohorts have brought that one about also. Now listen to yourself. You are proving my poem. Who cares if it is fair, and it is accurate, which ever route you prefer: the bees are oppressed, whether by Mr. Beekeeper or by Ms. QB, therefore honey stays out of the pantry. It is just a funny quirk. We all have quirks, eh?
Yes, we all have quirks. And honey stays out of the vegans' pantries, but not really out of anyone else's, since most people don't really take much notice of anything that might inconvenience them. So I don't really agree that my reporting of their argument (fair and balanced, that's me) proves your poem.
Sugar, now, sugar oppresses!
But what exactly are you reporting: a book, an article (propaganda) from veggie times? I am reporting from the front lines. Directly from the Vegan mouth. For Christ Sakes, next to Hawaii and parts of California I live next too the Vegan capital of the nation (Boulder). And whether or not they are armed with every detail of the reasoning behind their noble choices, it usually deduces to statements like these, for time saving purposes I suppose. We all deduce facts to make the sound humorous and ultimately erroneous at times; it it the nature of conversation. Thus, if you sit down at the dinner table with Vegans long enough and not just read about the diet and the reasons of the diet, I swear (scouts honor) that this will eventually pop out. It has not failed yet. And to the other statement, forget bees and sugar: just say eveything is oppressed. It, we, you name it. Birth, whether from the womb of mother or from the factory or from the pollen down the way gives life, which is oppression in itself. And "fair and balanced reporting" -- seriously now!
Oh come on--I realize this is a difficult medium in which to convey humor or irony--or maybe it's just my failing--but both the sugar and fair and balanced comments were meant to do so. Of course I'm not fair and balanced about a lot of things--who is? And I can cite titles if you like, but I don't think the arguments I conveyed are so uncommon that you can just take them as "things that vegans often say." I have never heard a vegan say that the reason they didn't eat honey because the workers were oppressed by the queen; apparently you have. Okay, so we've established that. I objected to your pointing to that argument as an example of why most vegans shun honey, since it seemed to be a reason given less commonly than the less ludicrous (to my thinking) ones that I cited. I think that was clear in my original comment. Maybe I'm wrong--you seem to consort with more vegans than I do.
on edit--make that "can't" just take them as things vegans often say. Arrgh.
Of course, we are jesting; as is the poem. So in that sense we can both back up out statements with facts, man. Just the facts. All fair and balanced, of course. The poem never mentions the poor worker bees. I do in a comment. It mentions oppressed nest, which they are, regardless of who is doing the oppressing, and therefore, Vegans do not eat honey and therefore "i" find that "funny". And so should you, at least the poem. Thus, the poem is mocking a lifestyle that (only at times) takes itself excessively seriously. Which I find cute and noble in an odd way. And that is my right as a citizen of the US of A.
Your right, or a privilege? (I've given up smiley emoticons, but one would go here if I hadn't.) And I didn't object to your poem at all--it is cute. Cute in the nice, nonpatronizing sense. (Again, no emoticons.) But I do give credit to people who live by their convictions, even those who are overbearing and evangelistic about them (though I cross the street when I see them coming), and while I do find that some vegans take things to extremes, you can really say that about anyone passionate about their beliefs, eh? God, I sound so fucking earnest, don't I? I'll lose my cynic badge.
Not sure why I put my oar in anyway--for what it's worth, I have honey (crusty, crunchy like Boulder, CO, probably inedible) in my pantry at this very moment!
Now we are in agreement. And that is why I gave my dear friends this tribute poem in the spirit of Ogden Nash. I wish I like honey, but I don't. So I can be on there side there. But I am a very principled eater, I suppose.
They are nuts. What about fossil fuel? Pineapples? Sugar cane? The clothes on their neurotic backs? Name one thing in this life that is not the product of oppression.
Acquired immuno-deficiency syndromes.
Which functions on the oppression and invasion of T-cells. Most people who "Aquire" it are oppressed individuals.
I thought you said you chatted as fred but you were in fact Frass. How come bein'Vegan is here? hmmm...?
fred = poetandknowit. It pleases the naughty PAKI to impersonate the wise Frass, because poetandknowit is jealous of Frass's frank, mature erudition.
I am Frass. Don't listen to DA because he is really God's Wife. So, the lesson for today: don't judge a poetandknowit by its cover!
and i am amalea. all that hissing and spitting yesterday was just because i'm attention-deprived.
the israelites walked a century, for milk and honey...instead they find giants..
bumbled bees - I read "humbled bees" at first (it's late) and it worked just as well. Oh, we do torture those bees for that sweet, sticky taste of heaven...
Smart vegans just steal their honey. Yay for dumpster diving!
oppressed breast and
knobby knees keep chummy buckets out of the shanty.
hey there
I'm vegan too!!Email me my address is posted
Yes, love, but you also drain the Psychic~Enyrgy from your mortal victims.
nice to see something that isn't haiku. Care for a boku?
not funny enuf 2 b good.
Good gracious, and here was i under the impression that i should give a fuck?
Must you comment with all your pathetic characters? I have decided, when you can write as well as me, you can comment. Until then go play with your kid and call Ornella.
Obsolete and utterly pointless, for someone who reveres themselves as a good writer this is about as memorable as a pot noodle.
your typing is horrible. are you drunk?
trivia is not for 2 more nights!!!!!
Two words do not make a drunk. FUCKER! Purely in the Eels sense, though.
even better. back atcha.
I am not sure obsolete is the right word, Cad. Pointless I will buy, especially since hat hare gave me the vegan rake over so many years back. I was trying to write in the vain of Ogden Nash. Yes, I failed. A paper airplane it is. Hooray!!!
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