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Despair (Free verse) by Caducus
Forgive me for all things I didn?t do. Forgive me for ever meeting you. Forgive me for trying to be something I am not. Forgive me for the incapability of being unable to stop. Forgive me for kissing you and whispering her name. Forgive me for wishing for you, for when you came. Let me take away your pain, Let me walk away for I was a thorn in your side, And father forgive me for being born, For from the first breath exhaled I had died. Forgive me for the times I made you despair. Forgive me for a future without me there. Forgive me for my failed attempt at suicide. Forgive me for being the reason you always cried. Forgive me for my lack of belief. Forgive me for your grief. Forgive me for becoming so depressed. Forgive me for failing to be the best. Forgive me for letting you down. Forgive me for the thorns that I wore in my crown. Forgive me for watching over you from where I am. Forgive me for failing to understand, The reasons why I refused the helping hand. All I pray is I will be in a better place, Where every Cherub has my baby?s face. Where every infant sleeps and awakens, Where hearts are immune to breaking, In death I will be one with ?Cara?, In any life form, she will always be warm, For I am her adoring Father.

Down the ladder: Colgate & Paper towels

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.769231
Weighted score: 6.2934113
Overall Rank: 885
Posted: January 31, 2003 5:38 AM PST; Last modified: January 31, 2003 5:38 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.101 | 31-Jan-03/6:26 AM | Reply
"Forgive me for the incapability of being unable to stop."

I want you to think very carefully about the meaning of that line, then ask yourself this

"Oh Christ! What have I done?"
[n/a] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 31-Jan-03/8:21 AM | Reply
bloody hell its not that difficult it means unable to stop himself taking his life.
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > Caducus | 31-Jan-03/8:30 AM | Reply
cad, he was being ultra facetious.
just ignore him. maybe he'll go away.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.101 > Caducus | 31-Jan-03/8:53 AM | Reply
I'm afraid it doesn't mean that, Caducus. I thought I told you to think very carefully! Perhaps if I give you a clue you will see the error of your ways?

Consider this: Another word for "incapability" is "inability"
So, your sentence can be rewritten as:

"Forgive me for the inability of being unable to stop."

Now think very carefully about what it means to have the inability of being unable to do something.
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 31-Jan-03/8:56 AM | Reply
oh, dear. you didn't go away.
forgive my evil thoughts.
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.7.132.88 | 31-Jan-03/12:56 PM | Reply
Caducus, perhaps you should split it up so that the 'forgive me's are in seperate stanzas from the rest? It might add a little to the structure.
[10] Teen14 @ 209.74.16.57 | 31-Jan-03/3:25 PM | Reply
Wow...what a great poem! That was excellent! I totally feel the dispair so I'm kind of sad now though. But all in all it was fantastic!
[0] poetandknowit @ 65.101.210.77 | 2-Feb-03/5:24 PM | Reply
You sir, are the worst excuse for a pimple poet on this site! Can you really expect anyone over 16 to take you seriously as a writer? Well, minus DA. Do you expect praise from the poets of my stature? I mean, come on. Read this aloud with out laughing and I will buy you a pint!
[5] brazen @ 68.84.225.163 | 5-Feb-03/3:09 PM | Reply
i am almost convinced that PAKI invented teen14 to praise this poem after saying no one over 16 would....hmm. mystery.
[8] cuddlytiger17 @ 64.80.246.102 | 10-May-04/1:19 PM | Reply
Awww, i feel so much sympathy for the speaker...I can relate on many levels and this is such a sincere poem. The only critcism i have is that a few lines i stumbled over, they didn't flow as smoothly. Otherwise, I commend you on this.
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