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I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' (Other) by JakeBike
A 'pimple poem' is essentially an ode, written as an expression of teenage angst. It is often rhymed--forcedly so--and can be found scrawled in high school notebooks and on live journals across the net. Often, it lacks even a hint at rhythm, and its structure is rarely overly complicated. By definition, a pimple poem must contain simple, emotionally/romantically evocative words like 'love' and 'hurt' and 'ache' and 'night' and 'stars.' Often laced with odd manipulations of language (L3Et-5pe4k: 'ur' 'luv' 'l8r' 'ne') and fraught with common profanity, it offers a copious use of obvious rhymes (above/love, eyes/lies, heart/apart) and little in the way of metaphor. It is written by the budding poet, for the budding poet, and is a crucial step in one's development as a writer of rhymed poetry: it teaches one what to avoid when composing metrical verse. (see thepinkbunnyofdoom, katie, blade, Teen14, loneshadow29, Jay J.C., JoyfulySlotterdKitty, amalea, little_angel_maria, etc. for classic symptoms.)

Up the ladder: Pictures of June
Down the ladder: The Battlefield

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 90
.. 10
.. 170
.. 80
.. 70
.. 110
.. 20
.. 20
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.. 41
.. 61

Arithmetic Mean: 5.736111
Weighted score: 5.736111
Overall Rank: 1835
Posted: January 31, 2003 7:44 AM PST; Last modified: February 2, 2003 9:27 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] deleted user @ 204.60.89.167 | 31-Jan-03/7:59 AM | Reply
zounds like zitty verse to me!
[8] UnityMitford @ 167.206.181.179 | 31-Jan-03/9:19 AM | Reply
while this laid it all out nicely, i would have liked to see some parody of the pimple poem in the construct of this one. i want it meaner, i want it to point fingers at the guilty, naming names, naming poems...(but leave poor Katie out of it).
[0] Ranger @ 62.7.132.88 > UnityMitford | 31-Jan-03/1:05 PM | Reply
Have you read any of Caducus' poems? Try "Sawn off shotgun blues", or "Quarry of the Devil and Croupier". His is not teen angst.

You're right about Blade, though.
[n/a] JakeBike @ 67.84.171.238 > Ranger | 31-Jan-03/4:23 PM | Reply
I have read them all. his angst, while not 'teen' _per se,_ is of the same calibre. By proxy, the Shoe fits.
[4] Teen14 @ 209.74.16.223 | 31-Jan-03/1:59 PM | Reply
That's really interesting and it makes a lot of sense, but it sounds more like a message than a poem.
[8] Shardik @ 24.126.113.154 | 31-Jan-03/2:50 PM | Reply
Now this is an 'other' . Thank god when we put on our end of the month donkey shows at your garage they are anything but common profanity. Hear that 'club stridex'? We are uncommonly profane. New and improved astringent for your blackheads, and as soon as the swelling goes down on my knees i'm going to prove it... has anyone seen my mineral oil?
[n/a] JakeBike @ 67.84.171.238 > Shardik | 31-Jan-03/4:29 PM | Reply
Other. Yes. Most perspicaciously said, mon frere. Indeed, our end-of-the-month extravaganzas have become legendary, have they not? Did you hear that Tijuana called, and they want us there gor February? I thought not. I told them, no, we were booked in Sao Paulo, and absolutely could not cancel. And then, they brought up the mirkat incident. Shit. What was I supposed to say? So, plans have changed. Times have changed. The answer, my friend, is blowing...well, this is a family network, so I guess I'll keep that one to myself.
[0] deleted user @ 205.188.209.107 | 31-Jan-03/7:05 PM | Reply
your right about me. mostly everything i right sucks, has a simplistic rhyme scheme and classic cliches (thats what i think), but its fun.
[n/a] JakeBike @ 67.84.171.238 > deleted user | 1-Feb-03/8:06 AM | Reply
apparently not.
[0] deleted user @ 64.12.104.151 > deleted user | 1-Feb-03/8:20 AM | Reply
yah, but it doesn't bother me
[1] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.5 | 1-Feb-03/3:41 PM | Reply
I believe I'd rather read a hundred mind numbingly cliche poems about love than one peice of prose presented as a poem. Before you start defining what diffferent styles of poems are perhaps you should learn what a poem is in the general sense.
[n/a] JakeBike @ 67.84.171.238 > OneFingerAnswer | 1-Feb-03/5:11 PM | Reply
well if you prefer mind-numbingly cliched poems, you have come to the right place! may i suggest you start with those named above?

glad i could help you out, old chum!
[1] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.5 > JakeBike | 2-Feb-03/2:47 AM | Reply
Nice response. I left myself wide open for that one.
[n/a] poetandknowit @ 65.101.211.250 | 2-Feb-03/10:25 AM | Reply
Blade is just a mindless brit popper. He is trying to be stupid so remove him. But add Range and put Cadacus back on there!!!!! And DA for his abundance of ass pimples!!! And God's Wife for that Raven poem!!
[0] Ranger @ 217.40.231.55 > poetandknowit | 18-Apr-03/12:34 AM | Reply
I love you P&K, and it's nice to see that I'm appreciated too! I do indeed agree that my poems are cliched and contain simple rhyme and crap.
Yet again I must agree with you about Blade, but sadly (happily?) I don't think it's likely that he'll be logging in again.
Please let me know your definition of 'Brit popper', it's bothered me for soooooo long!
Have a nice day now.

(But please if you're going to slag me off, get my name right!!!)
[0] Ranger @ 217.40.231.55 > Ranger | 18-Apr-03/12:35 AM | Reply
(And Caducus')
[n/a] poetandknowit @ 65.101.211.250 | 2-Feb-03/10:26 AM | Reply
and don't forget writer of triangle poems!!!
[7] [mojo] @ 195.92.194.15 | 3-Feb-03/3:17 PM | Reply
I have seen these symptoms, but, alas, you may be suffering from a side effect of reading to many of the poems to which you refer: "pedanticitis" .7.
[10] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 4-Feb-03/2:48 PM | Reply
I'll will have you refer to my pinata as the lonedisco29andahalf. Thankthee... to correct thyself lest we be forced to empty scabbarde and DANCE THE GAYE BLADE! urp.
[10] lunar @ 195.92.67.76 | 7-Feb-03/11:10 AM | Reply
wow this is BRILLIANT! Also extra points for not mentioning me! surely this means i am producing quality work?!
[6] corinacorrie @ 24.145.197.8 | 11-Feb-03/1:56 PM | Reply
hmm... well we all have to start somewhere.
[3] TanHand @ 68.14.26.239 | 11-Feb-03/7:40 PM | Reply
And I suppose this is in another league altogether?
[10] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Feb-03/11:57 AM | Reply
A chipper snob, none the less.
[8] hipster flare @ 209.68.66.203 | 3-Mar-03/7:39 AM | Reply
extremely insightful. I read thousands of these types of poems, but just called them awful and trite.
[8] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 3-Mar-03/3:46 PM | Reply
Lonedisco29andahalf i'll have you know is a full grown man.
[5] H0LL0WxL1F3 @ 198.81.26.167 | 4-Mar-03/8:10 AM | Reply
You create good points, but you use stereotypes which are not needed. And what's really uneccessary is puting usernames at the bottom. Let them deal with their own poetry and you your's. I see you want whats best for the world of poetry, and what's best is letting the creativity of the world flow into one. That way. Poetry can't die. You have talent. Use it for a theme more useful.
[7] emeraldeyes @ 198.247.178.137 | 4-Mar-03/5:51 PM | Reply
lol this is gold because it's so true...i have the same stupid shit scrawled on my books as well! :) thanks for this!
[8] rockinindividual @ 24.136.137.164 | 20-Mar-03/2:08 PM | Reply
haha. that says it all. 8.
[5] loneshadow29 @ 67.30.229.45 | 23-Mar-03/11:43 PM | Reply
Interesting work my good man, except for the list of your likely candidates. But, I'm surprised that after the months since I've last posted, people still remember me. Damn, did my poetry stink that bad?? If so, I can only say but one thing... F**K it. Have a nice day all :)
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.19.37 > loneshadow29 | 24-Mar-03/12:31 AM | Reply
Well at least your not on the top of the list.
[10] deleted user @ 66.68.184.144 | 25-Mar-03/2:41 PM | Reply
right on
[10] leonxic @ 80.205.204.80 | 3-Apr-03/11:06 AM | Reply
its so true, 10. glad im not on the list
[n/a] suckmychucks @ 64.41.22.175 | 10-Apr-03/11:50 AM | Reply
ew god damn why did you say live journal? my skin is crawling.
[n/a] -=SeTTle=- @ 68.14.26.239 | 13-Apr-03/7:06 PM | Reply
I DONT WANNA BE BURIED INAPET CEMETRY DON"T WNAN LIVE MY LFIE AGANI
[10] cleverdevice @ 213.122.94.118 | 23-Apr-03/2:13 PM | Reply
I feel I must make Blade's case, (God rest his soul), as his was always a piss-take view. He was never serious and not blatently offensive or insulting, merely irritating. I think if anyone should be 'got-at' its Bobjim. (Bobjim, its just boring now with the paedophilia crap. Stop it, stop it now!) Poor Blade, such a warm man, such a tender man, such a wonderful lover...
[0] Ranger @ 212.140.114.61 > cleverdevice | 26-Apr-03/4:23 AM | Reply
Why is this is the top 15?
[8] andrewjthomas @ 192.150.10.150 | 29-Apr-03/3:06 PM | Reply
amen, but you forgot the "goth" sub-genre... where common themes and words include "blood, darkness, soul, cutting"
[8] nolan @ 65.93.27.96 | 3-May-03/10:17 PM | Reply
hahaha so ture, butr the pimple poets have so much emotion. -8
[1] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 8-May-03/12:55 AM | Reply
A ha ha! Splendid to the max! You've really captured a hearty, hilarious essential truth about the maxims of poetes in this hard-driving world we call Planet MacDo.
[6] Poetsettle @ 68.158.170.115 | 18-May-03/10:18 AM | Reply
Right on! I enjoyed this profound explanation of the "pimple poem."
[8] baughworm @ 216.196.161.25 | 18-May-03/9:38 PM | Reply
clever 8
[8] thirdchildofpain @ 63.189.176.90 | 24-May-03/8:41 AM | Reply
i like this. Your writing reminds me of one of my friend Shawn Simmons' writing. If you want to check out some of his writings or some other writers, go to the website k215.com click on the names on the left-hand side. I think you'd like their writing...
[8] god'swife @ 198.81.26.113 | 6-Jun-03/12:42 PM | Reply
Interesting, especially if the reader is unaware of the situation. I think it's a perfect definition. It made me smile, that's always good.
[7] phoenixxx @ 24.158.33.107 | 12-Jun-03/1:42 PM | Reply
Nice.
[6] PoeTech @ 209.122.235.155 | 20-Jun-03/12:15 PM | Reply
Be sure to read my latest poem - Theology - It's amazing!!
[10] QUENDO @ 195.157.153.253 | 1-Jul-03/9:51 AM | Reply
Hurrah
[2] MrsGretchen @ 12.220.225.71 | 7-Jul-03/9:16 AM | Reply
Just a critique.
[7] Rodavlas @ 68.81.136.124 | 14-Jul-03/4:30 PM | Reply
necessity
[7] http://findingwater @ 216.195.146.90 | 22-Jul-03/5:23 PM | Reply
Harsh, but delicious ... sorry, I'm actually just hungry.
[8] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.146.90 | 22-Jul-03/6:06 PM | Reply
Well, I'd wondered what "Pimple" poems had in common.
[n/a] LuckyJoe @ 216.248.118.205 | 28-Jul-03/6:25 PM | Reply
Everyone does start small... even after writing years and years its nice to go back to the roots and see if the simplisity (spelling) is still there. Often times its hard to get back to your roots. My first poem I ever wrote was back in 4th grade... short...sweet...simple. Here it is...

May we never depart,
May the love always stay true.
Shall it not stay,
Can destiny discover that we were made for each other?
May life lead us the right way.
Please hold on.
[n/a] Freethinker1602 @ 68.48.88.129 > LuckyJoe | 5-Aug-03/4:41 AM | Reply
dude, goodness gracious!! I've looked at this sooo many times, never posted a reply and finally realized that you are talking out of your ass. Poetry is always beatuiful when one puts their trials or joys or beliefs into it. Poetry is about self expression and you just the same as Dr. Prichter, have deviled the art.
[n/a] LuckyJoe @ 216.248.118.202 > Freethinker1602 | 5-Aug-03/8:57 AM | Reply
I seem to be missing why your saying this to me. I said nothing to spark your anger or cause you to flame in my direction. He was talking about "pimple poems" which are often wrote by the poet just starting out. I didn't say they weren't good didn't say anything bad about anyone. I was simply agreeing with the author that everyone does start small. Posted an example... my first poem. Please explain how I'm talking out of my ass. Because as I see it you're the one doing that because what you've said makes no sense what so ever due to the comment you're repling to.
Since I deviled the art doing the devils work that I'm confused as all hell.
[n/a] sliver @ 63.190.64.135 | 15-Aug-03/9:08 PM | Reply
You forgot to add me to your list. I've rhymed Heart/apart etc. but we all grow
[9] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > sliver | 20-Aug-03/7:51 AM | Reply
you were a late-comer. don't feel slighted.
[n/a] deleted user @ 24.222.81.233 | 18-Aug-03/12:45 PM | Reply
Where do pimples come from? This is really the cry of your poem. Pimples come when people think too much of their grandmothers at orgies.
[4] Settle @ 67.75.22.253 | 20-Aug-03/5:54 AM | Reply
Read that brilliant one about how when his Girlfriend Left Him it was like 9.11. READ IT.
[9] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > Settle | 20-Aug-03/7:55 AM | Reply
no.
[6] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 | 20-Aug-03/11:49 AM | Reply
very educational.
[8] Moniquesuvee @ 205.188.209.7 | 9-Sep-03/8:05 AM | Reply
I like it except that it sounds like more of a speech than a poem
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