poemranker ::flight (a poem written in high school) by Bill Z Bub

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Free verse № 36043

flight (a poem written in high school)

by Bill Z Bub

Member since 2002 · Posted 14 Jan 2003 · 9 comments

Sway back, swallow the wind and fly gentle sylph. tease the hem of a grey-mantled sky and touch the tips of pine-crowned cliffs. show me your secrets in transparent limbs, I'd follow if only I could, to wrench the clay of my feet from this cold and dusty earth.

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mean 7.00 weighted 6.00 rank 1291 views 306 View voting details →

9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

9 comments

[10] god'swife 15-Jan-03/12:43 AM Reply
Quite fine. Did you ever get to fuck the Language Arts teacher. Were you scandalous? Too shy right, too stupid to make a move.
[n/a] Bill Z Bub › god'swife 15-Jan-03/5:40 PM Reply
Heh. Heh heh.

~ahem!~

[9] Caducus 15-Jan-03/1:54 AM Reply
I'm cracking up i read your poem and thought exactly what gods wife said, so did you? you smoothie you. By the way this is quite beautiful it enchanted me, you have many sides to your die and most are sixes -9-
[n/a] Bill Z Bub › Caducus 15-Jan-03/5:43 PM Reply
The silver-tongued devil rolls 6, 6, 6 every time.
Too bad its just a meaningless number.
[9] horus8 15-Jan-03/8:13 PM Reply
Real good!...can dusty be another word though...more...i don't know rare?
[n/a] Bill Z Bub › horus8 20-Jan-03/9:19 PM Reply
How about... squalid? grimey? corrupt and dingy? draggled?
Hmmm.
[10] god'swife 26-Jan-03/12:09 PM Reply
My favorite so far. Quite different fromt he first draft. I love the rhyming, tips/cliffs. Could/earth. Really a first rate poem. Change 'dusty' to something truer, deeper. Something sadder, more poignant.
[1] poetandknowit 2-Feb-03/9:25 PM Reply
Good thing you wrote this in high school. Of course, your writing hasn't changed all that much, eh? Good try!!
[8] Felzpoet 24-May-03/5:41 PM Reply
thts real good man but not as good as ur others
and when crit me remember i am only in H.S.