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flight (a poem written in high school) (Free verse) by Bill Z Bub
Sway back, swallow the wind and fly gentle sylph. tease the hem of a grey-mantled sky and touch the tips of pine-crowned cliffs. show me your secrets in transparent limbs, I'd follow if only I could, to wrench the clay of my feet from this cold and dusty earth.

Up the ladder: Come Night time
Down the ladder: wish

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 20
.. 30
.. 10
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 6.0
Overall Rank: 1273
Posted: January 14, 2003 11:12 PM PST; Last modified: January 14, 2003 11:12 PM PST
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Comments:
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.213.193 | 15-Jan-03/12:43 AM | Reply
Quite fine. Did you ever get to fuck the Language Arts teacher. Were you scandalous? Too shy right, too stupid to make a move.
[n/a] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 > god'swife | 15-Jan-03/5:40 PM | Reply
Heh. Heh heh.

~ahem!~

[9] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 15-Jan-03/1:54 AM | Reply
I'm cracking up i read your poem and thought exactly what gods wife said, so did you? you smoothie you. By the way this is quite beautiful it enchanted me, you have many sides to your die and most are sixes -9-
[n/a] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 > Caducus | 15-Jan-03/5:43 PM | Reply
The silver-tongued devil rolls 6, 6, 6 every time.
Too bad its just a meaningless number.
[9] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 15-Jan-03/8:13 PM | Reply
Real good!...can dusty be another word though...more...i don't know rare?
[n/a] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 > horus8 | 20-Jan-03/9:19 PM | Reply
How about... squalid? grimey? corrupt and dingy? draggled?
Hmmm.
[10] god'swife @ 209.178.178.205 | 26-Jan-03/12:09 PM | Reply
My favorite so far. Quite different fromt he first draft. I love the rhyming, tips/cliffs. Could/earth. Really a first rate poem. Change 'dusty' to something truer, deeper. Something sadder, more poignant.
[1] poetandknowit @ 65.101.210.212 | 2-Feb-03/9:25 PM | Reply
Good thing you wrote this in high school. Of course, your writing hasn't changed all that much, eh? Good try!!
[8] Felzpoet @ 68.173.204.214 | 24-May-03/5:41 PM | Reply
thts real good man but not as good as ur others
and when crit me remember i am only in H.S.
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