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The Kansas City Chiefs suck (Haiku) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
A Boy hangs from wires. Kansas city, miracle. Luck, not poetry. Poet and knows it? What kind of poet says that? One with a ladder.

Up the ladder: Nude Reclining
Down the ladder: Goodbye

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 100
.. 20
.. 40
.. 20
.. 80
.. 83
.. 30
.. 80
.. 00
.. 50
.. 63

Arithmetic Mean: 4.967742
Weighted score: 4.967742
Overall Rank: 8447
Posted: February 2, 2003 7:09 PM PST; Last modified: February 2, 2003 7:09 PM PST
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Comments:
[10] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 | 2-Feb-03/7:38 PM | Reply
>insert comment here<
[n/a] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 > Bill Z Bub | 2-Feb-03/8:06 PM | Reply
>I say ole man, good to see you an all that... tea?<
[10] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 > Bachus | 2-Feb-03/8:30 PM | Reply
toodlepip.

just got back online. my modem exploded.
[10] poetandknowit @ 65.101.210.212 | 2-Feb-03/9:11 PM | Reply
No sweetie, not a ladder, a resume. Thanks for the poem. See you soon. Stay out of trouble.
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 > poetandknowit | 3-Feb-03/11:42 AM | Reply
Hear that POETS!? It takes a resume... Does anyone else, besides me, think this daft is a boring asshole? here here. I make a motion to have P&K's poetry license revoked on grounds of unimaginative elitist posh chirpings. here. here.
[4] <~> @ 67.84.171.238 > <{Baba^Yaga}> | 3-Feb-03/3:45 PM | Reply
but...it's entertaining when you guys slap each other around.
i suppose a kiss and make up is out of the question this time? yeah, i guess so. oh well. leave a heartbeat, just for me, okay?>
[8] INTRANSIT @ 204.110.225.254 | 3-Feb-03/2:53 PM | Reply
Maybe a salesman type.
[5] brazen @ 68.84.225.163 | 3-Feb-03/10:53 PM | Reply
you recieve a 5, but only because of priest holmes. i like the chiefs.
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 > brazen | 4-Feb-03/11:55 AM | Reply
I take it that you did not read about the eighteen year old young man in Kansas who was jettisoned 40 feet from his vehicle up into the telephone lines. Where he hung for twenty minutes until he was rescued?
[5] brazen @ 68.84.225.163 > Jeremi B. Handrinos | 4-Feb-03/2:25 PM | Reply
sorry, i stopped watching the news the day after 9/11...that was the day the media finally pissed me off so much that i told them i hate them and fled off to california with my hippy lover leaving them to wonder what they ever did wrong.

having said that...yeah, makes a lot more sense now
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 11-Feb-03/7:07 PM | Reply
Sell out.
[6] TanHand @ 68.14.26.239 | 11-Feb-03/7:38 PM | Reply
There was recently a pretty significant event in the national football league - a 'world series of football' if you will.
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 > TanHand | 12-Feb-03/7:24 PM | Reply
I wouldn't know the difference between football from basketball if you paid me in chirpes. i know that the tall overpaid black ones play basketball. named after throwing a ball into a basket apparently? boring and pathetic really, but that's just my opinion.
lol! I bet you could base a succesful comedy act on that sort of apathetic attitude toward sport!
Actually, you're right 'we' could be like wayne and garth, but you could have an organ and be in a wheel chair, and i could be really beatiful and smart and sing with a real chiseled hairstyle and well projected charisma and i could push you around and you could verbaly abuse me and such. While we laughed at jocks from our sauna and made the butler do math problems that he could never solve as and inside joke. We could give away kale and signed shoehornes..
Really? I wonder what "James Wright" would have to say about that. I hear you two are becoming rather intimate.
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Feb-03/10:59 PM | Reply
go to hell.
[3] toyrocker @ 63.189.1.126 | 26-Feb-03/9:58 PM | Reply
Please go away
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > toyrocker | 4-Mar-03/11:59 AM | Reply
Just for you i'll stay forever dick head, know why? because i can write better then you all day long one handed left handed no handed any which way every day. That's a fact. You want to challenge that? Throw down your best i'll through down mine. Whoops! i have over two hundred finely crafted poems here take your pick, regardless you will find yourself considerably outmatched. Oh... also I rock harder then you just visit my website and take your medicine like a good little toy rocker, exactly. Reap it. Hurts huh? tsk. Is there none who can fell Grendal? Where is my match? Boring.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > toyrocker | 12-Mar-03/11:28 PM | Reply
There once was a toy that could rock
up and down like a dirty tube-sock
Then aliens came
into his has and his brain
Mind if i smoke your cocaine?

Thank you. he he koo chewie chee.
Damn that boy can throw a frisbee.
[7] lastobelus @ 213.61.217.3 > horus8 | 13-Mar-03/5:54 AM | Reply
hoho, now...

toy rocker's still rocking his toy
as he has since he was a small boy
it never gets sore
but demands ever more
until rocker must both hands deploy

horus descends and preys like a hawk
on po-ems he thinks are a crock
is this god of birds
a master of words?
or just some guy wacking his cock!

bawaahahahahahahahaha
the Regurgitationist tackles Masturbatory Poetics

[5] hipster flare @ 209.68.66.203 | 3-Mar-03/7:58 AM | Reply
lose comma after "city". lose second stanza.
[n/a] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 3-Mar-03/4:08 PM | Reply
i heard about that amazing.
[6] H0LL0WxL1F3 @ 198.81.26.167 | 4-Mar-03/11:20 AM | Reply
Doesn't make much sense... but who am I to judge? Keep writing.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > H0LL0WxL1F3 | 4-Mar-03/11:52 AM | Reply
Maybe you should read a newspaper every once in a while, or the comments under the poem stupid? Thanks! I'm sure he will keep writing being that he is a writer.
[6] H0LL0WxL1F3 @ 198.81.26.202 > horus8 | 4-Mar-03/11:55 AM | Reply
Don't be rude, it's not necessary.
[6] Robert K Foster @ 209.68.67.7 | 7-Mar-03/7:38 AM | Reply
First haiku- 8.5
second - 4.5
average- 6.
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 > Robert K Foster | 25-Apr-03/8:48 PM | Reply
first haiku - 865476657 dash of salt peter
second - left before the contest.
third haiku- ate the other two
[0] deleted user @ 63.186.41.181 | 12-Mar-03/3:19 PM | Reply
fuck a bunch of you
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > deleted user | 12-Mar-03/4:51 PM | Reply
How about we fuck a bundle of me today, and a bunch of you tomorrow? Nothing personal just a conflict of scheduling. You understand, right tulip ears?
[0] deleted user @ 63.189.1.131 | 12-Mar-03/5:59 PM | Reply
cant you find anything better to write about then a fucking football team
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > deleted user | 12-Mar-03/11:21 PM | Reply
It's not about a football team tadpole. Surprise. Maybe you should read the comments to this poem to find out what it's about beore you make yourself look even more horribly retarded then you are already. That's the real motherfucker about great irony. It's just motherfucking great. Surprise! You don't read the news paper do you. Just another uninformed trogyldite going. Duh. So... Duh. Yep, them video games sure are working... keep up the good work. I'll feel safe knowing you'll have kids one day, and they won't read much either, and then ten generations from now we'll all be anorexic book burning cavemen again. Read Ray Bradbury, think less.
[0] deleted user @ 63.189.1.131 | 12-Mar-03/6:06 PM | Reply
Go to hell you can't write.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > deleted user | 12-Mar-03/11:24 PM | Reply
Go fuck yourself cuz you can? lol.
[n/a] mckenzie @ 66.157.134.62 | 12-Mar-03/11:55 PM | Reply
DUDE YOU SUCK AND I DONT EVEN LIKE FOOTBALL
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > mckenzie | 12-Mar-03/11:59 PM | Reply
Okay DUDE? you called it! and i don't even like footbal either! Yay lets touch eachothers penises and celebrate... Whatta say?!
[1] suckmychucks @ 64.41.24.252 | 9-Apr-03/12:46 PM | Reply
the chiefs sucked so bad that they inspired you to write a poem about it? that's pretty bad, you pansy-ass-haiku lovin-kansas city chiefs hatin chump. i'll give you a 1 for writing your name.
[n/a] Lord Ganus @ 68.14.26.239 | 12-Apr-03/9:30 PM | Reply
ha
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 8-May-03/2:03 PM | Reply
Did you know he hung up there for thirty minutes?
[5] RealmOfSong @ 64.254.42.144 | 9-Jun-03/8:33 PM | Reply
I believe there is a cut in here somewhere... hmm...
[1] QUENDO @ 195.157.153.253 | 1-Jul-03/9:51 AM | Reply
Shitty
[5] deleted user @ 12.230.81.98 | 30-Jul-03/8:37 PM | Reply
alright, I like the first stanza, but after that it gets kind of confusing and abstract, I'm not sure what you're trying to say-- the trick about haiku is to be both concise and accurate. Good start though.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > deleted user | 30-Jul-03/8:43 PM | Reply
There's a backstory to it so you'd have to read the comments. And I'm aware of what a haiku is my friend and have written hundreds, thanks.
[n/a] deleted user @ 24.222.81.233 | 18-Aug-03/1:01 PM | Reply
If I had a stepladder I would climb and climb until I could not see this poem anymore, written on a condom package smuggled into Tijuana to rest on my wife's bosom for days and days while her body fessed up to her life.
[10] Settle @ 67.75.22.253 | 20-Aug-03/6:10 AM | Reply
Brilliant, the ladder line. I have no idea what it means either.
[10] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 | 20-Aug-03/2:48 PM | Reply
haha, I like the second verse. I like both, but the second best.
[7] deleted user @ 66.215.221.84 | 27-Aug-03/12:41 PM | Reply
One with a ladder and a paint bucket
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