| Re: Sylvania Wilderness by jessicazee |
24-Aug-07/3:09 PM |
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I like the last line; their scents are a cliche in themselves, pre-packaged and all, and I like that you refused to acknowledge their other scent ingredients. How cliche is it,really, when perhaps 25% of the population use those products? When is it cliche, and when is it just statistically accurate?
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| Re: a comment on The Raw Vegan Potluck by peaceseeker |
24-Aug-07/3:03 PM |
I agree w/ Intransit, and think the last sentence is out of place. The food descriptions are vivid enough that is doesn't need to be structured this way.
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| Re: a comment on The Buiness Card by abecedarian |
24-Aug-07/2:59 PM |
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Does poor spelling make him illiterate? That is such a constrictive definition of the word. If so, half of our fellow poets are. I think this is a real character who is being fairly and poetically represented.-10
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| Re: Church Propagation by Dovina |
24-Aug-07/2:48 PM |
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I like the whole package, don't listen to the theist sheep.
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| Re: beef flavored ramen by ThePariahDog |
22-Aug-07/6:18 PM |
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| Re: reptile by ThePariahDog |
22-Aug-07/6:13 PM |
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Who gave this a zero and didn't comment? It is hard to work the word chitin into a poem! Nice mix of the literal and metaphoric: carpenter as god, carpenter ant, etc.
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| Re: Alfredo by Caducus |
22-Aug-07/5:30 PM |
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Is calomine an alternate spelling of calamine, and was the vineyard actually a grove of poison ivy?
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| Re: Endless Battle by rahson_s |
15-Mar-06/2:39 PM |
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I like the kind of manic feel of this, it makes it more convincing.
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| Re: Settling in by INTRANSIT |
15-Mar-06/2:38 PM |
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nice, how about spring though? "its" should replace "it's"
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| Re: a comment on She Crab by http://mulberryfairy |
10-Jan-06/9:08 PM |
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the too too solid flesh is an allusion to Shakespeare- it is about suffering- of being alive and in pain rather than dead and in peace. I think it was from Hamlet.
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| Re: a comment on She Crab by http://mulberryfairy |
10-Jan-06/9:06 PM |
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I attempted to set it up with the title (SHE crab)- the crab is a she, but the child is noticeably genderless- never referred to with any pronoun.
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| Re: a comment on Untitled by http://mulberryfairy |
10-Jan-06/9:03 PM |
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not that explaining it to you makes it explanatory enough to be a good read, but the thing is, dreaming his death protects "the narrator" from his having power over her (through her love for him).
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| Re: the light of a truly bright day by digipoet |
10-Jan-06/8:31 PM |
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well done- we had one of those bright days today
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| Re: The chestnut by richa |
10-Jan-06/8:30 PM |
"Dates have become misaligned
or places"
I didn't get the "or places"
The rest is great.
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| Re: Tulip by richa |
10-Jan-06/8:26 PM |
seems like you are forcing some words in here for the sake of your meter- the poor tulip boy has poor taste "that" he loves... (for?)(as?)that doesn't seem to be the right definitive article. Ignoring your meter, I would take out the "that" completely, then remove the "ands" in the 3rd and 4th lines.
with neither purse nor name (why so many articles?)
I like the dichotomy of him loving his plot, but being on a wage- puzzling.
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| Re: Suck by MacFrantic |
10-Jan-06/8:16 PM |
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whose dirge- I got lost there- she is dead and therefore belied to your aliveness?
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| Re: Flow by zodiac |
10-Jan-06/8:09 PM |
beautiful,
nice word choices
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| Re: Window Washer (midtown) by ecargo |
10-Jan-06/8:06 PM |
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mission accomplished- you made a mundane subject into a dance
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| Re: a comment on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy |
10-Jan-06/7:59 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Birmingham gardens by INTRANSIT |
9-Jan-06/8:13 PM |
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where is your home? you run up and down the east coast, right?
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