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The Raw Vegan Potluck (Free verse) by peaceseeker
Chocolate truffles made of secret bliss-inducing ingredients, hooking every taster . . . Sunflower sprouts lush and full still rooted in peat moss and dripping large black oval seeds. . . Salads with slices of tomatoes glistening with delectable oils resting on beds of greens and onions. . . The old man with long hair and overalls, carrying in a flat of wheatgrass. . . The organizer with the GMO Free Zone sign to show to all and discuss. . . The four month-old baby with the wide soulful eyes and mother exhausted from child care. . . Our coconut party outside with the machete and a fork and lots of inside jokes. . . Went back inside, distributed truffles, and met Anna, my new Russian friend with the nice accent.

Up the ladder: Up Close at a Distance
Down the ladder: Thoughts

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.9525743
Overall Rank: 8849
Posted: August 23, 2007 2:25 AM PDT; Last modified: August 23, 2007 2:25 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] INTRANSIT @ 65.29.52.204 | 24-Aug-07/7:00 AM | Reply
I get to use my favorite suggestion. Put it in the blender and hit frappe. It comes across a little too list-like. Blend the people with the foods a bit. There's much to work with here. Please revise.
[n/a] http://mulberryfairy @ 207.5.159.9 > INTRANSIT | 24-Aug-07/3:03 PM | Reply
I agree w/ Intransit, and think the last sentence is out of place. The food descriptions are vivid enough that is doesn't need to be structured this way.
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