Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The Raw Vegan Potluck (Free verse) by peaceseeker
Chocolate truffles made of secret bliss-inducing ingredients, hooking every taster . . . Sunflower sprouts lush and full still rooted in peat moss and dripping large black oval seeds. . . Salads with slices of tomatoes glistening with delectable oils resting on beds of greens and onions. . . The old man with long hair and overalls, carrying in a flat of wheatgrass. . . The organizer with the GMO Free Zone sign to show to all and discuss. . . The four month-old baby with the wide soulful eyes and mother exhausted from child care. . . Our coconut party outside with the machete and a fork and lots of inside jokes. . . Went back inside, distributed truffles, and met Anna, my new Russian friend with the nice accent.

Up the ladder: A-looky here.
Down the ladder: -untitled-

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.9525743
Overall Rank: 8846
Posted: August 23, 2007 2:25 AM PDT; Last modified: August 23, 2007 2:25 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[7] INTRANSIT @ 65.29.52.204 | 24-Aug-07/7:00 AM | Reply
I get to use my favorite suggestion. Put it in the blender and hit frappe. It comes across a little too list-like. Blend the people with the foods a bit. There's much to work with here. Please revise.
[n/a] http://mulberryfairy @ 207.5.159.9 > INTRANSIT | 24-Aug-07/3:03 PM | Reply
I agree w/ Intransit, and think the last sentence is out of place. The food descriptions are vivid enough that is doesn't need to be structured this way.
123 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001